As the season of giving approaches, so does the season of ‘un-giving,’ re-gifting, and returning. For many people, Christmas will bring a bounty of amazing gifts. But for others—many others—the holidays might bring gifts that you’ll never use. This raises an important question: Do you tell the person you don’t like the gift? Or do you secretly return the Christmas gifts you don’t want?
The Most Returned Gifts
According to a poll by Western Union for Forbes Magazine, the most returned gift of the season is apparel. That ugly sweater your aunt gave you, the overalls your brother bought, and the nightgown two sizes too small that your friend gave you? Yep, all going back to the store. In fact, around 75% of gifts returned to major department stores after the holidays are shoes and apparel, and most people return items without a receipt.
According to Consumer Reports, only 1 in 5 recipients of unwanted gifts will actually tell the giver that they want to return the item. Most people simply look at the tag, skip asking for the receipt, and hope they’ll receive store credit for the now-discounted item. They don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by admitting they don’t like the gift, but they also don’t want to keep it just because “it’s the thought that counts.”
So, what should you do if you get a gift you have absolutely no use for? Should you return it, tell the giver you dislike it, or just hold your feelings in and keep it—perhaps to re-gift later?
Essentially, whether or not to return the gift is a personal decision.
If you can’t be honest and tell someone you don’t like the gift without hurting their feelings, your best bet is to either keep it and say “thank you” as sincerely as possible, or try to secretly return it to the original store. Since most stores will accept returns without a receipt as long as the item is still tagged, you shouldn’t have a problem. If not, you can consider donating the gift to a worthy cause or stashing it in a random drawer to bring out when you need a good laugh.
If the gift is from someone who visits you often, they may eventually notice it’s missing. In that case, you should probably fess up and tell them you didn’t like it. Or, you could pull out the reindeer sweater every time they visit, in an effort to show your appreciation for the gift. (Though, if you do this, they’ll likely think you love it and might buy you something similar next year.)
Additionally, consider the perspective of the gift giver. If you gave someone a gift that you picked out with care, spent your hard-earned money on, and then realized it wouldn’t be used, wouldn’t you want your money to be spent more wisely? While most people may be mildly offended at first, they ultimately want you to enjoy the gift—or at least like it! After all, buying the perfect gift for someone isn’t always easy (which is precisely why gift cards are so great!). And according to Miss Manners, telling someone you don’t like a gift or admitting it doesn’t fit your body or lifestyle is not considered rude. In fact, it’s considered honest.
Of course, there’s no need to hurt someone’s feelings over a $10 bottle of perfume or a $10 nightgown. But for items where it’s clear a decent amount of money was spent, honesty is important. Returning the gift doesn’t make you a rude, obnoxious person who’ll never deserve a gift again.
The best way to ensure that you can return gifts is to be a thoughtful giver yourself.
For instance, one rule of thumb is to never buy a gift that can’t be returned. (Yes, that means no hand-knit sweaters or monogrammed underwear.)
When giving gifts, be sure to include a gift receipt so the recipient can return it if they don’t like it. Also, when exchanging gifts, make it clear that you want them to be happy with their presents—and if they don’t like it, you won’t be offended. By being a responsible gift giver, you open up the dialogue for others to do the same, and that creates an opportunity for honesty. Sometimes this will work, and sometimes it won’t. If you’re unsure what to get someone, consider gift cards or cash gifts. This way, you can be certain the recipient will get something they truly love, and it’ll save you a lot of trouble in the long run.
And look, if Aunt Matilda gives you yet another hand-crocheted sweater that you absolutely hate, as she has for the past 30 years, swallow your pride, wink at those around you, give her a kiss, and tell her you love it. After all, she may not be with you for much longer. In other words, use your judgment.
