The memory of visiting my grandparents is still fresh in my mind. We would pack into the car and travel the winding, mountainous Route 81 from Maryland to Pennsylvania. My parents would throw my brother and me in the back of the pickup (with a camper top), make sure we had plenty of blankets, pillows, and toys, and off we would go on our 4-hour road trip. After a while, trying to get 18-wheelers to honk became boring, and we would end up fighting with each other until my dad had no choice but to pull over and threaten to make us ride on the roof. This was long before cell phones, handheld video games, DVD players, laptops, or MP3 players, so we were pretty much left to our own devices. The only thing that was better back then was that parents could take these road trips without strapping us into the confining 5-point harnesses and restrictive booster seats. Pretty soon, we might be outfitting them in steel helmets as well.
Making Road Trips Fun (or at Least Tolerable)
In this day and age, road trips with kids should be a breeze. We have every technological device at our disposal to keep them entertained for hours. Vans come fully equipped with everything but a soundproof glass barrier between the driver and passenger seats. Yet, despite all these conveniences, taking car trips is one of the things I dread most. Even the short trip to school in the morning can turn into a stressful concoction of fighting and yelling that makes me want to steer off into the deepest ravine I can find. So what, if anything, could make this more enjoyable?
Comically speaking, the best way to take road trips with our children would be to let someone else drive them while we follow. Either that, or put them on a bus or plane and meet them at the destination. Since neither of those options is practical, the best solution is to try to see things from our children’s point of view, plan accordingly, and be ready to exercise lots and lots of patience.
Personally, I prefer to schedule long road trips for nighttime—when the kids are more likely to sleep. This ensures that, between their waking and sleeping, they’ll feel like they are actually making progress. They might fall asleep in one state and wake up in another, which reduces the frequency of the dreaded “Are we there yet?” “How far have we gone?” “How much longer?” and “I need to go!” If night travel isn’t possible, then just accepting the fact that you will need to stop many times makes things a lot less stressful.
When my children need to “go,” my husband will encourage them to wait just a little longer. He keeps doing this until they threaten to pee in the car. He tries to schedule stops in his head, and every trip seems like he’s aiming to break a record. I try to explain that this only makes the trip more stressful and that if we just took our time, we might arrive an hour later but with our nerves intact. He accuses me of wanting to stop at every place that looks interesting—which I do… but isn’t that the point of travel? In any case, a happy medium needs to be found. When it seems that all the passengers have had enough, it’s time to get out of the car and regroup. There’s no harm in that.
Keep in mind that little kids are forced to wear the burdening buckles that severely restrict their mobility, making it unreasonable to expect them to sit still for so long. When we were young, we were just as impatient but were allowed to move around in the car. Older kids should have enough gadgets to keep them busy, but even those are certain to fail after a while. When all hope seems lost, one of the best things to do is start singing.
Lately, I’ve become sadly aware that it won’t be long before my kids won’t want to go anywhere with me at all. They are growing up so fast, and some of them are even big enough to sit in the front seat, riding shotgun. So far, they aren’t embarrassed to be with Mom and Dad, and that’s worth enduring a little bit of fighting. There will come a time when family road trips will be nothing but fond memories for my children, just like they are for me. My husband and I will probably sit back and chuckle as we listen to how our kids recall these trips. They may not remember where we were going or even where we went, but they will remember that we were together.
The road trips with our kids, though often frustrating, always serve to forge the bonds of family and create a togetherness that is hard to find anywhere else but in the car.
