Some marriages are worth salvaging, even when they seem hopeless. I firmly believe it only takes one person to save a relationship, and I have proven this with my track record of helping thousands of women heal their broken marriages. By simply transforming themselves and shifting their energies, these women have experienced remarkable change.
When one partner changes in the relationship, the other must adjust to the new dynamic. When a partner isn’t met with resistance, what once seemed like a stumbling block will eventually dissolve.
Even if divorce still occurs after all the effort, the transformation will not be in vain.
Why Do Relationships Become Hard Over Time?
The answer lies in accumulation and resistance.
What is accumulation?
Accumulation is the piling up of unresolved issues and hurt feelings over time.
How does accumulation happen?
It occurs because many people don’t let go of the past. They either live in the past or the future—both of which are illusions and do not exist.
Why don’t people let go of the past?
Because the ego lives in psychological time, which revolves around the past or future. The mind’s resistance to the present moment creates unnecessary conflict. The mind isn’t needed in the now; letting go of the mind allows us to fully dwell and surrender in the glorious present.
What is resistance?
Resistance happens when there is a gap between “what is” and “what should be.” “What should be” is a product of the mind and creates resistance to the present moment. Expectations are often the root cause of heartache.
Heartaches accumulate because the ego resists the present moment and refuses to let go of the past.
Between accumulation and resistance, marital issues are both created and exacerbated over time. Remember: what you resist persists, but what you embrace dissolves.
So, when your husband seems to have checked out of the marriage, shift your energy by letting go of these two patterns. It’s hard, but many of my clients have proven it’s possible.
To tame the ego’s tendency to accumulate and resist, it’s essential to understand and recognize how the mind works. My teachings focus on this transformative power.
Only when you understand the nature of the mind and ego will you no longer be ruled by them. Your thoughts will no longer control you, and you will stop identifying with them. All the problems in your marriage arise from believing what your thoughts tell you.
And your thoughts are rarely empowering or uplifting. Instead, they tend to center around lack and negative self-talk. These thoughts often drive you to respond with anger, defensiveness, blaming, shaming, and resentment.
To understand the mind, you must first bring awareness into your daily life—into everything you do, including your thoughts. Try to catch yourself when you’re thinking and learn to let the thought go.
At first, it will be challenging because we are conditioned to think incessantly. The idea that you are not your thoughts can be mind-boggling. However, when the mind sees itself, it becomes silent. Of course, it will soon jump to the next thought, but in those moments of silence, insights emerge.
As you cultivate this silence, you’ll become more grounded. If you do this consistently, your energy will begin to shift.
Your husband will notice the change in your energy and will respond accordingly.
Rebuilding your relationship—and your love life—means shifting your energy: from lack and desperation to excitement about possibilities and faith in abundance; from anger and resentment to love, gratitude, and compassion; from fear to hope and self-confidence; from misery to joy; and finally, from the need to control to the freedom of letting go.
She is a dating/relationship coach and Feminine Magnetism expert who has helped thousands of women transform their relationships using her profound, unique, and counterintuitive teachings of inner work and personal transformation. Whatever your situation may be, her Feminine Magnetism Method can help you turn it around. With a track record of one engagement per week, thousands of blossoming new relationships, improved marriages, and countless exes back, she changes lives every single day. Her work revolutionizes the world by offering infinite possibilities for human growth and providing insights into the evolution of human consciousness, one woman at a time. She is truly the last resort when everything else has failed. Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.