All puppies experience some anxiety. Dogs are pack animals and feel most secure when in the company of members of their pack—their guardians or other dogs. Puppies need to learn how to be alone gradually, as their guardians leave them for increasing amounts of time. They learn that when left alone, nothing bad happens and their guardians return. They learn how to entertain themselves, which helps them gain confidence.
However, some dogs do not gain this confidence. They may have been left alone too long as puppies and were traumatized by it, or they were neglected or abused and are insecure. These dogs often wreak havoc on a house—chewing on doorways, destroying furniture, barking, and scratching incessantly at the door. As a result, they end up in shelters. Well-meaning people adopt them, but these dogs still carry low self-esteem and continue to exhibit their learned behavior of separation anxiety.
How to Choose the Right Dog for Your Lifestyle
One of the first questions you need to ask yourself is: how athletic is your lifestyle? If you have young children under the age of five, you might not be able to commit to running three miles a day. Therefore, you’ll want to avoid breeds that require a lot of exercise. These include most sporting breeds, such as Pointers, Weimaraners, Vizslas, water dogs, some spaniels, and herding breeds like Australian Shepherds or Border Collies. Labradors and retrievers are also sporting breeds and need exercise, but they can be excellent family dogs, which is why they are so popular. They can be happy with a moderate amount of exercise and can tire themselves out by playing fetch—retrieving is the skill for which they were originally bred. You know how toddlers want to do things again and again, so just give your child a ball, set the kindred spirits out in the backyard, and everyone will have a better nap afterward.
The process of teaching dogs with separation anxiety to be alone requires time, patience, and positive reinforcement.
To start, change your routine before you leave. Try to make it less drawn out. For example, put your keys in your purse ahead of time and have your shoes ready by the door. Dogs quickly pick up on the routine of leaving, and if it’s drawn out, they become increasingly anxious.
Leave the house promptly and don’t make a big deal out of it. Emotional comings and goings cause more anxiety. If you make leaving a big deal by excessively petting your dog and cooing to it, this reinforces the idea that leaving is a big deal. Instead, ignore your dog ten minutes before you leave. When you leave, simply say “take care of the house”—a phrase that signals “I am leaving, but I’ll be back.” Then, turn around and come back after thirty seconds to a minute and go about your day, ignoring your dog again for ten minutes.
Leave and come back about a dozen times on the first day, increasing the time each time you leave. If you come home and your dog is exhibiting anxious behavior, cut the time in half, then increase it again once the anxious behavior disappears.
Make sure to take all factors of your lifestyle into account before making a decision. Then, visit your local shelter to find the dog that’s right for you. Don’t feel pressured to adopt a purebred dog. There are many wonderful mixed-breed dogs in shelters that just need the right home.
It’s best to work on these exercises during a vacation or weekend, as it takes a lot of time and commitment. As you begin to see success, start varying the time you are gone. Leave for thirty minutes, then two minutes, then an hour.
In addition to this program, there are other things you can do to build your dog’s confidence. A basic obedience class can be beneficial, even if your dog is already trained. It helps him learn how to handle new situations and gain confidence in you as the “leader.” Also, spending quality time with your dog each day is essential—not to baby or cuddle, but to engage in activities that build a strong leader/dog relationship, such as agility, playing fetch, or playing hide and seek. These activities are all beneficial for your dog’s psychological well-being.
Doggy daycares are great resources for people who work full-time. If your dog spends two to three days a week in the company of other dogs, chances are she’ll be more tolerant of being left alone on the other days. For some dogs, it may be too much to expect them to stay alone all day, five days a week. Even if your dog doesn’t have separation anxiety, I recommend finding a way to provide company for your dog during long days. Another great option is finding playmates to spend the day at your house—other dogs who would also be left alone. The last option is adopting another dog, but this requires a commitment you may not be ready for.
Another suggestion is to keep your dog occupied while you’re away by having him work for his food. Buster cubes, which dispense kibble as your dog rolls them around, are great for keeping your dog busy. You can feed your dog exclusively from one of these when you leave so that she’ll actually look forward to your departure! Kongs or shank bones filled with frozen wet food or other treats will also keep her busy while you’re gone. Avoid leaving your dog with rawhide or other chew objects that disintegrate, as they can cause blockages. If your dog is busy with safe chew toys, she will be less likely to chew on the sofa or a doorway. Separation anxiety varies in severity. I’ve had cases where all it took was providing chew toys and following the ten-minute ignoring rule to solve the problem. In other cases, extensive desensitization to the leaving routine was required. More severe cases needed doggy daycare five days a week. A veterinarian can prescribe medication, and Bach flower remedies like Heather or Chicory can help, but these must be accompanied by behavior modification. Every solution will be different. For some dogs, distractions like toys work. My own dog does well when he has a job. I tell him to “guard the house” when I leave, so when I’m gone, he has a purpose. The key is to take the time to find what works best for you and your dog. Remember, dogs are different from humans—they’re pack animals, and being left alone is hard for them.
