Setting Bedtimes for Children – Your Kids Need a Lot of Rest

Wouldn’t it be nice if children were born with an internal clock that made them fall blissfully asleep around 6-7 p.m. every night? This would give parents enough time to be adults and ensure that the morning is met with excitement and energy, rather than whining and weary children. Unfortunately, most children seem to be born with a clock that makes them want to stay awake in the evening, regardless of their bedtime. One of the most important parental responsibilities is setting bedtimes for children.

The Importance of Bedtime Routines

Decades ago, bedtime was simply bedtime. Kids were sent to their rooms soon after sunset and expected to just go to sleep. There weren’t TVs in the bedroom or video games that needed playing. You were lucky if you got a glass of milk. Today, it seems that everything with our children is negotiable. One thing that should not be negotiable, however, is bedtime.

Children often don’t realize the need for sleep and rest. As parents, it’s important to remember that they are growing physically and emotionally, and that sleep is one of the best ways to ensure they stay healthy. Adequate sleep also helps children keep their immune systems working optimally, which can help them fight off all those germs floating around in daycares and schools. Parents need to set a bedtime and stick to it. Of course, there will always be extenuating circumstances where bedtime can be stretched, and on those days, the kids will consider it a treat. But keep in mind, the next day, you’ll be the one suffering with a cranky and disagreeable child.

So, what is the perfect bedtime? Much of that depends on the age of your child, their level of activity during the day, and what time they wake up in the morning. Newborns obviously require the most sleep—around 16 hours a day. As your infant reaches a month old, their sleep needs decrease by about an hour. By the time your baby is 4-12 months old, they require around 14 hours per day. This time is split between nighttime sleep and a nap during the day. Transitioning toddlers can do well with around 12 hours of sleep per day. Some toddlers will not take naps, and some will. The key is recognizing signs of tiredness.

As your toddler reaches elementary school age, they will require much less sleep, usually around 10-12 hours per day. Most kids at this age do not take naps, and setting a bedtime is the best way to ensure they get the sleep they need. When you set a bedtime, try to judge it by the personal needs of your child as well. Since this is the pivotal age when kids begin wanting to stay up later, setting a bedtime 30 minutes before they actually have to go to sleep is a good way to ensure they are getting enough sleep. This also provides a window of time that can be used for settling the child into sleep mode. Although it’s okay to make exceptions on weekends or other days when they can take extra naps or rest more, keep in mind that it’s a fallacy to think sleep can be “made up.” When children—or adults—skip or miss out on sleep, they simply miss it, and their bodies must adjust to the tiredness. This adjustment can linger for days and significantly compromise immunity (and attitude).

From the ages of 7-10, your child needs around 10-12 hours of sleep, and after 12, it’s recommended they get 8-10 hours. Sleep studies have shown that children in these age groups who do not get adequate sleep or a routine sleep schedule are more prone to behavioral disorders and often perform worse in school. Long-term sleep deprivation can lead to serious illness, lack of energy, and even makes teens more susceptible to alcohol and drug abuse. So even though your older children may not feel that they need a bedtime, they do. When setting a bedtime for children in this age group, try to make compromises on wake-up times, with the goal of ensuring they receive their necessary 8-9 hours of sleep.

Setting a bedtime for children is something that should be started early in life. Like all good habits, it takes time to evolve into a lifestyle, and ensuring proper sleep plays a large part in supportive parenting. Sleep is largely about routine and doing the same thing every night. Avoiding things like caffeine and excess sugared foods after 4 p.m., and trying to track your child’s sleep patterns and behaviors, will help you find the best sleep schedule for your child. Forcing sleep or naps during the day in young children can cause them to develop negative feelings about going to sleep, making them more prone to resisting it at night. Some kids do better without daytime naps.

As your child evolves into a teenager, you may notice an increase in sleep, as brain function and development take physical precedence. Let them sleep! They need it. Don’t be afraid to set a bedtime for your child and expect them to stick to it from an early age. Once you begin offering too many allowances on bedtime, you can break sleep patterns and rearrange habits, which can be costly to your child’s development. Keep in mind that you know your child best, and by observing their behavior and reactions to excess or insufficient sleep, you can find a balance that works for both of you. The goal is for them to get enough sleep so they can remain healthy and happy.