What is it like to go nine months without making love to your spouse? Pregnancy answers this question for many people, both men and women, who feel uncomfortable breeching the subject of sex once they become pregnant. While sex during pregnancy may be different, during a healthy pregnancy there is no medical reason not to engage in intercourse.
The feelings that men and women experience while pregnant are turbulent to say the least. Many women begin pregnancy not quite feeling like themselves, exhausted and vividly focused on the new life inside them. They may not have the strong sexual urges and this is often confirmed by the lack of erotic hormones blooming at the time. As the first trimester comes to an end, women tend to get them selves back to speak and may either feel extremely alive and intimate or otherwise. So many women have the misconception that their husband no longer finds their curves sexy or that they have suddenly become reminiscently maternal. During a first pregnancy this may be especially true as the newness of the situation can prompt both men and women into a raging spiral of emotions. But things do get better.
There are thousands (probably millions) of men who think that having sex while pregnant may injure their unborn baby. They have visions of striking their baby in the head with their penis during intercourse and seem to gravitate away from sex during pregnancy. Sorry to burst a bubble here, but this is virtually impossibility and even the most well endowed man is not quite that well endowed! Sex is safe and there is no harm for the baby. Obviously, it isn’t wise to engage in wild or rough sex by any means and lying on top of a woman is not the best position. However, one of the nice things about pregnancy, is it encourages and sometimes forces couples to get sexually creative and explore several different avenues of mutual pleasure.
The second trimester finds many women longing to have sex again with higher libidos than ever before and less tendencies to vomit or experience sea sickness in the middle of it. Perhaps it’s the hormones talking (they will bite you in the butt again later) or maybe it is just the sheer intimacy of producing a child with someone that gets women in the mood for romance, but it is safe none the less.
The only time sex during pregnancy is not recommended is if dilation has started earlier or if a woman has had to have a succlage to close the cervix. In this case your doctor will warn you to avoid pregnancy sex and find other means of pleasuring each other. While moms and dads are alike are concerned about having sex during pregnancy, the bottom line is you should talk to your OBGYN. In fact, sex and intimacy helps couples to remain close and connected and can even spark an increase in self esteem for women who may be stressing over their changing bodies. Realize of course you wont be and definitely aren’t the first man or woman who wonders if it is okay and who asks a physician that is what they are for!
The third trimester finds many women feeling less than sexy. It may be the sheer cumbersomeness of a bulging belly, aches and pains or the inability to move around freely combined with hormonal highs and lows that make a woman less likely to want to have sex. While it is still safe, sex should always be something that two people agree to, married or not, and shouldn’t be pressured during pregnancy if EITHER party is not comfortable with it. If a man just feels weird about the whole thing it should be looked at as an initiation to parenthood which often strains a sex life anyways and if a woman feels uncomfortable with it she too should be respected. After all, there are lots of changes going on with her body and pregnancy is by far not the easiest thing in the world and certainly not a time that a woman is concerned about sex. Look at it as a temporary lapse in libido and closeness and find other ways to be together rather than intercourse.
Obviously, we have to go to the polls in order to see what the large majority says. One poll by MSNBS says that on average pregnant couples only have sex 3-6 times per month in the beginning before the numbers fall off drastically. When women have been asked specifically about sex during pregnancy, it seems that the answers aren’t so clear. Around 50% say that they would like to have sex and feel sexier than ever, while the other half feel as tickled about sex as they do about wearing a bikini. Men of course for the most part are always up for sex, but it is clear that the whole idea of it can change a man’s perspective on making love drastically. While they may not admit it, this shows in households across the globe.
The results! Sex during pregnancy is safe (unless advised against it). It may be a little less comfortable or have you thinking out of the box in order to get things accomplished. It may gross you out, inflate your ego about penis size or make you feel like you are forever warping your child. The way you feel about it is what is important. If you can keep the communication about it in the open so no one’s feelings get hurt and look forward to having sex that is not a threesome again, all will return to normal (well kind of) in a few months time.