What is it like to go nine months without making love to your spouse?
Pregnancy answers this question for many people, both men and women, who feel uncomfortable broaching the subject of sex once they become pregnant. While sex during pregnancy may be different, there is no medical reason not to engage in intercourse during a healthy pregnancy.
The feelings that men and women experience while pregnant are turbulent, to say the least. Many women begin pregnancy not quite feeling like themselves—exhausted and focused on the new life growing inside them. They may not have strong sexual urges, which is often confirmed by the lack of erotic hormones during this time. As the first trimester ends, women tend to feel more like themselves again. At this point, some may feel extremely alive and intimate, while others may not. Many women also have the misconception that their husbands no longer find their curves sexy or that they’ve become too maternal. This is particularly true during a first pregnancy, when the newness of the situation can stir up a mix of emotions for both partners. However, things do get better.
The Impact of Pregnancy on Sex
There are thousands (probably millions) of men who think that having sex while pregnant could injure their unborn baby. They imagine that their penis might accidentally strike the baby’s head during intercourse, which often leads them to avoid sex during pregnancy. Sorry to burst that bubble, but this is virtually impossible—even the most well-endowed man cannot reach that far! Sex is safe, and there is no harm to the baby. Of course, it isn’t wise to engage in wild or rough sex, and certain positions, like lying on top of a woman, may not be the best choice. However, one of the benefits of pregnancy is that it encourages couples to get sexually creative and explore new avenues of mutual pleasure.
The second trimester often finds many women experiencing higher libidos and less nausea, making it easier to engage in sex again. Perhaps it’s the hormones at play (they will bite you in the butt later), or maybe it’s just the sheer intimacy of producing a child with someone that stirs up these feelings. Regardless, it is safe to have sex.
The only time sex during pregnancy isn’t recommended is if dilation has started early or if a woman has had a cerclage (a procedure to close the cervix). In such cases, your doctor will advise you to avoid sex and find other ways of pleasuring each other. While both mothers and fathers are often concerned about sex during pregnancy, it’s important to talk to your OBGYN. In fact, maintaining intimacy can help couples remain close and even boost self-esteem for women who may be stressing over their changing bodies. Don’t forget, you won’t be the first person to ask a physician about this—they’re there to help!
The third trimester often finds many women feeling less than sexy. It may be the sheer discomfort of a growing belly, aches, and pains, or the inability to move around freely that diminishes a woman’s desire for sex. While it is still safe, sex should always be something that both partners agree to, whether married or not. It shouldn’t be pressured during pregnancy if either party is uncomfortable. If a man feels awkward about it, consider it an initiation to parenthood—something that often strains a sex life. If a woman feels uncomfortable, she should be respected as well. Pregnancy brings a lot of changes to her body, and it’s a time when sex may not be a priority. Look at it as a temporary lapse in libido and find other ways to connect rather than focusing on intercourse.
What Do Polls Say About Sex During Pregnancy?
To get a sense of how common this issue is, one poll by MSNBC says that, on average, pregnant couples have sex only 3-6 times per month during the beginning of pregnancy before the numbers drop off drastically. When asked specifically about sex during pregnancy, the answers are mixed. Around 50% of women say they want sex and feel sexier than ever, while the other half feel as excited about sex as they do about wearing a bikini. Men, of course, are generally always up for sex, but the whole idea of sex during pregnancy can shift a man’s perspective on making love. While they may not admit it, this shows in households around the world.
Conclusion
So, what’s the verdict? Sex during pregnancy is safe (unless advised otherwise by a doctor). It may be a little less comfortable or require thinking outside the box to make it work. It could make you wonder about your body’s changes or inflate your ego about penis size, but in the end, how you feel about it is what matters. Keep communication open so no one’s feelings get hurt, and look forward to the time when your sex life returns to a new normal (well, kind of) a few months after your baby arrives.
