One of the perks of having daughters, especially for a mother, is that a wardrobe can quickly be doubled or even tripled – when they reach that age where the two of you fit into the same size clothing. Sharing clothes with your teenage daughter however can be a tricky subject. First of all, should you? Even if you have the body to fit into the jeggings and Uggs, are the styles age appropriate for you? And what if the clothes that you have, which are costly to say the least, are worn by your daughter who can ruin them with one lick of a juicy red Popsicle. Truth is, as long as there has been mothers and daughters, there has been the fight over clothes. Here are a few tips and rules to help you deal with this sticky and sometimes tricky situation!
Rule #1 – Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should!
Okay, so it’s pretty neat that you and your daughter wear the same size jeans. But as a 30 or 40 something mom, fitting into jeans with the stylish rips and fray won’t actually make you look cool (or attractive). In fact, it might make you look like one of those middle-aged women who are trying exceptionally hard to defy the fact that she is getting older. Some clothes, such as halters, short shorts, graphic tanks, and stylish jeans are simply not meant for mom to wear. And similarly, lacy tops worn under suit jackets that mom wears to work are not meant to double as shirts for a teenage daughter. Plus, how embarrassing would it be for your daughter to be seen wearing an outfit that her mom just sported to the grocery store? While certain pieces of clothing can definitely transcend generations many cannot. So choose wisely.
Rule #2 – Set Some Boundaries
You have two closets for a reason. If you want to set up a place for the two of you, where you can share communal accessories like belts, hair clips, layering t-shirts, standard jeans or work out clothes then fine. However, having a place for you and your daughter to call their own, where the clothes are off limits to others in the house, can ensure that boundaries are in place. And boundaries are a good thing. It’s not just okay, but wise to have clothes sharing rules in place! This way, should your daughter steal your $100 top from your closet, there will be a rule infraction punishable by discipline. And, this will keep you from being tempted to flirt with your ‘dreams of yesterday’ by wearing some outrageous teenage fashion.
Rule #3 – Put Yourself in Your Daughter’s Shoes
Shoes are one thing that people should NOT share. Let’s face it, footwear for women has already become unhealthy enough, and teens today are flopping around in flip-flops and sandals that offer no support for their feet. Even so, if you and your daughter are constantly swapping and sharing shoes, you could be potentially causing you and her some real pains in the foot! When you wear shoes, experts say that you leave a footprint in the shoe itself, which after time helps to support your feet. Shoe sharing, disrupts this footprint and can lead to you and your daughter experiencing some pretty uncomfortable problems down the road. No pair of shoes, even if two people have the same size foot, will fit two people the same. If you really love the shoes, then buy two pairs. Of course shoes meant for a rare special occasion, can be shared without a problem – but when it comes to shoes you wear everyday, avoid sharing. Plus, the older YOU get, the more important it is to find shoes that are not just stylish, but that support your body as well.
Rule # 4 – Be Compassionate of Your Daughter’s Size
Okay, so for mom – the fact that she can fit into her daughter’s clothes is exhilarating and helps to boost your self-confidence. But how does this make your daughter feel? Teenage years often bring about a certain sense of awkwardness for your daughter and as she grows into her body, she may not have the hourglass figure of her dreams. Knowing that she is the same size as her mother – even if mom isn’t heavy, doesn’t always go over well in the teen confidence department. And for moms who are thinner than their daughters are, the feelings of body insecurity can be heightened even more.
Rule # 5 – Respect Each other’s Taste in Clothes
While sharing clothes is a great way to expand both your and your daughter’s wardrobe, the two of you should keep an open amount of respect for one another’s tastes. In other words, make sure that when you shop for clothes, you aren’t holding yourself or your daughter to the standard that the pieces of clothing have to be a match for both of you. It’s okay, and actually a positive thing, for the two of you to hang on to a personal sense of style and fashion. And remember, just because you don’t agree with what your daughters tastes are (or she hates yours) doesn’t mean you should inflict your will upon each other.
Rule # 6 – Avoid Matching Outfits
Okay, passed the age of, well…6 – mom and daughter should not try to match outfits. In fact, you shouldn’t even try to match the same outfits in different colors. This sets up too much room for comparison between the two of you, and for a plethora of reasons is not something you should consider when sharing clothes with your teenage daughter.
As long as you remember these rules, sharing clothes with your daughter can be a bonding experience. In fact, shopping together and learning fashion tips from one another is often an important part of the female relationship. Yet, if sharing clothes seems to turn into a constant catfight between the two of you, then you might want to nix the idea altogether – at least for a while.