Every year around Christmas a bunch of giddy women, think that maybe just maybe, the most sparkly thing under the Christmas tree will be a diamond engagement ring just for them. And for a lot of women, this is a reality. What better time of year to feel romantic then at Christmas when most people are in festive moods, alcohol is being sold in droves, and family traditions make people forget how dysfunctional marriage and family life really are. Plus, you might think that a Christmas proposal will help to thwart all those pokes and prods from busy bodied family members who ask you when you are getting married year after year after year.
But is this really the best time to propose, or plan a wedding?
Should you propose at Christmas? This author says, NO!
For one thing, the holidays make everyone feel sort of crazy. There is so much stress and exuberance going on around you, that it can be hard to tell if you are lost in the spirit of the holidays or the love for your partner. Yes, a Christmas proposal can make it easy to tell all of your family members during dinner rather than on Facebook because you will be visiting with them anyways, but that doesn’t make it a good idea. (Especially if she says NO) And, if this is the first time that you are bringing your partner home to family – expectations can be high and stress levels can be as well. Everyone will be putting on a good face rather than revealing their true selves, which can be misleading. And your family members eventually do become important parts of your marriage.
Another reason this is TIS the NOT season to propose is because the time is already marked with celebration. It may sound like a great idea to remember your proposal as part of the Christmas holiday, but the truth is that in the years to come it will get shrouded with other responsibilities and commitments. If the two of you have kids one day, your proposal time will simply be forgotten as special in the aftermath of the other holiday festivities. And even more importantly, should the two of you split at some point – you will forever lose those warm and fuzzy feelings associated with the holidays because they will always be clouded with memories of ‘what could have been!’ Or of Christmases past. Blah!
Additionally, buying an engagement ring because you don’t know what else to get your spouse, and because it is something they may really want is a lame excuse for a proposal. Seriously! The women in your life, who may have been asking you about an engagement for a while now, will eventually second-guess your reasons for asking during the holidays. She will wonder in her female mind if you really wanted to get married, or if you were just simply trying to give her the gift she really wanted. She may even wonder if you felt trapped or forced to present the engagement ring because she has been riding you about it for so long. A Christmas proposal gives a woman plenty of reasons to question the validity of your proposal. It’s kind of like proposing after you cheated on her or during the aftermath of a big fight! You definitely don’t want to spend the next 20 years dealing with the big question mark in her head about whether you really meant to propose, or were simply swept away with holiday spirit!
If you choose another day, which is NOT already marked by every calendar in existence today – it will become YOUR day. You can still propose on an ice skating rink, or under the twinkle of lights. But it doesn’t have to be a Christmas proposal. In fact, there should be a law that makes it illegal for people to propose from Thanksgiving to New Years, when emotions are sort of out of control and people are feeling the affects of weird internal forces that come from their childhood. (And get this, according to statistics, A LOT of people actually split up or divorce during the holidays?) Told you this isn’t a good time for relationships!
And just in case you have it in your head that you want to get married on Christmas….think again! Not only for the same reasons as mentioned above, but also because your family and friends will completely resent you for adding more commitments to their holiday list. Plus, you won’t rack up a good array of gifts because nobody will have any extra money. Even worse, you might find it hard to find a church that isn’t hosting some holiday festivity, and Las Vegas should NOT be an option!
Take this advice. If you want to propose, choose another time of year to do so. Certainly, there will be the look of uncertainty and disappointment when your girlfriend opens up a box with a shiny bracelet instead of a ring, but in the end, she will realize that you were doing her a favor. (And Valentines Day is right around the corner) If she becomes really upset, forward her a copy of this article and tell her that Professors House is to blame, not you! Don’t worry, we can take the heat in the interest of saving your future.