Every year around Christmas, a group of eager women hopes that, just maybe, the most sparkling thing under the Christmas tree will be a diamond engagement ring just for them. For many women, this is a reality. What better time of year to feel romantic than at Christmas when most people are in a festive mood, alcohol is flowing freely, and family traditions make everyone forget how dysfunctional marriage and family life really are? Plus, you might think a Christmas proposal could help fend off those constant questions from family members asking when you’re getting married year after year after year.
But is this really the best time to propose or plan a wedding?
Should You Propose at Christmas? This Author Says, NO!
For one thing, the holidays can drive everyone a little crazy. There’s so much stress and excitement happening around you, it can be hard to tell if you’re lost in the holiday spirit or truly in love with your partner. Yes, a Christmas proposal makes it easy to share the news with your family during dinner, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea—especially if she says NO. And if this is the first time you’re bringing your partner home to meet the family, expectations can be high and stress levels through the roof. Everyone will be putting on a good face, which can be misleading. Your family members will eventually play important roles in your marriage, so it’s important to have a clear, calm setting when making big decisions.
Another reason Christmas isn’t the best time to propose is because the holiday itself is already full of celebration. While it may sound like a good idea to remember your proposal as part of the Christmas holiday, the truth is that in the years to come, it will get lost amid other responsibilities and commitments. If you have kids one day, the memory of your proposal might fade as the other holiday festivities take center stage. Even more importantly, if the two of you ever break up, those warm, fuzzy feelings associated with Christmas will forever be clouded with memories of “what could have been” or “Christmases past.” Not exactly a great association.
Additionally, buying an engagement ring just because you don’t know what else to get your spouse—or because it’s something she may really want—is a poor excuse for a proposal. Seriously. The women in your life, who may have been hinting at marriage for some time, will eventually second-guess your motivations. She may wonder if you really wanted to get married or if you were just trying to give her the gift she’s been asking for. She might even question if you felt trapped or pressured into proposing because she’s been pushing you about it for so long. A Christmas proposal gives her plenty of reasons to question its sincerity. It’s almost like proposing after you’ve cheated or during the aftermath of a big fight. You definitely don’t want to spend the next 20 years wondering if she truly believes you meant to propose or if you were simply swept up in the holiday spirit.
If you choose a day that isn’t already marked on every calendar, it will become your day. You can still propose on an ice skating rink or under twinkling lights, but it doesn’t have to be on Christmas. In fact, there should be a law making it illegal to propose from Thanksgiving to New Year’s when emotions are running high and people are dealing with the complexities of childhood memories. (And just so you know, statistics show that a lot of couples actually break up or divorce during the holidays—told you this isn’t a good time for relationships!)
And just in case you’re considering a Christmas wedding, think again! Not only for the same reasons already mentioned, but also because your family and friends will resent you for adding more commitments to their holiday list. Plus, you won’t get the best gifts, since nobody will have extra money. Even worse, you might struggle to find a church that isn’t hosting a holiday event, and Las Vegas should not be an option!
Take this advice: If you want to propose, choose another time of year. Sure, your girlfriend may look disappointed when she opens a box with a shiny bracelet instead of a ring, but in the end, she’ll realize you did her a favor. (And Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.) If she becomes really upset, forward her a copy of this article and tell her that Professors House is to blame, not you! Don’t worry, we can take the heat in the interest of saving your future.
