Marriage Advice

Spicing Up a Marriage – Adding Romance to Your Relationship

Valentines Day is an ideal occasion for spicing up a marriage but we hope you’re not adding the spice or the sizzle only during the months of February. You can do a tiny gesture once a day, every day, to breathe life into a marriage where boredom has occasionally set in. If every man and woman wrote down in their agendas what they would do for each of the 365 days for their spouse, the country would have no need for divorce courts. Spicing up a marriage is equivalent to making it more exciting; for those in precarious relationships, spicing up a marriage is a genuine attempt at saving it. What you say and what you do can melt pent-up frustrations and heal old wounds.

Spicing Up a Marriage: Hers

We can’t possibly provide 365 different spices but we sure can whip up a few tricks for you to thrill her so that she’ll love you just as much as she did when you popped the question.

  • Give her a spa certificate and tell her to spoil herself.
  • Compliment her nail polish color.
  • Invite her for a drive out in the country and explore the large wilderness holding hands.
  • Buy her favorite bottle of perfume.
  • Call a radio station and ask them if they’d broadcast your love message for her.
  • Make her a sweet cocktail drink.
  • Take her to Disneyland and have your picture taken together in the photo machine.
  • Give her shopping money (she’ll enjoy this).
  • If she does the cooking, tell her you’ll cook for a change.
  • Slip her love notes in her purse.
  • Take her to Paris.
  • Buy concert tickets to her favorite artist.
  • Ride a hot air balloon together.
  • Buy her a balloon (with her name and heart on it).
  • When she’s wearing a new dress, say, ‘You look stunning’ instead of ‘How much did you spend for it?’
  • Go to the circus and buy her a huge stuffed animal.
  • Surprise her at the office by dropping by with a bunch of roses.
  • Hire someone to sing her favorite song.
  • Wash her car.
  • Present her with 6 CDs or install a CD player in her car.
  • Take her dancing.
  • Buy her lingerie and an oversized T-shirt (and then tell her both turn you on)
  • Get her an iPhone (sorry, Canadians, it’s not yet available in Canada)
  • Install a faster memory chip on her computer so she can finish her work quicker.
  • Speaking of computers, have a graphic designer create a screensaver with her baby picture on it.
  • Give her a foot massage.
  • Scatter potpourri all over her bath. Buy her a bubble bath set.
  • Send her an email during the day just to let her know you’re thinking of her.
  • Hug her when she’s upset.
  • If she’s always liked the country, you could look into buying a second home. Then you can decide later whose name will be on the title deed.
  • Go watch a film and buy popcorn.
  • Ask her what her first kiss felt like.
  • Buy her a poetry book.
  • Or compose a poem about and for her.
  • Reserve a room in an expensive 5-star hotel and spend two nights. You can also order one of those thick, plush bathrobes for her.
  • Take out the garbage without her reminding you.
  • Say ‘I Love You’ twice: once on waking up and again before going to bed.

Spicing Up a Marriage: His

Men are such practical creatures that you know instinctively what would delight them: pliers or a new set of razor blades. But then again, some men are romantic and have a sensitive side to them, so use your imagination’and discretion!

  • Buy him a new set of tires for his bicycle (or his car).
  • Get him a year’s supply of batteries.
  • Buy him a nice pair of warm boots for when he shovels the snow in the winter.
  • Tell him, ‘What would I do without you?’
  • Ask him another time, ‘Do you know how much I care about you?’
  • Buy him his favorite bottle of wine.
  • If you pack his lunch, slip a note in his brown bag saying, ‘thanks for just being you.’
  • Rub his shoulders when he comes home tired from the office.
  • Get him a new golf cap. Clean and shine his golf clubs.
  • Pay for his haircut.
  • Offer to pick up his clothes at the dry cleaner’s.
  • Teach him how to use chopsticks. If he already knows how to handle them, take him to dim sum or to a Chinese restaurant that’s known for cooking the best Peking Duck in town.
  • Serve him breakfast in bed.
  • Don’t use his credit card for two months. Tell him, ‘to give you a break, dear, because you’ve been very generous with me.’
  • Challenge him to a game of tennis (round robin will do).
  • Lose weight (if you’re overweight).
  • Play jealous (even if you’re not). It’s a great way to massage his ego.
  • Order flowers and have them delivered to his office.
  • Buy him a neon-colored case for his cell phone. Throw in a new ring tone.
  • Wink at him and say he’s gorgeous.
  • Get him a set of backup recovery disks for his computer.
  • Say, ‘I love you.’
  • Say ‘I love you’ again (this isn’t a typo).

Worth the Effort

Spicing up a marriage is a monumental task, but certainly well worth it. If we reached out for the spice rack more often, our marital relationship wouldn’t be so bland. We should be vigilant about boredom and indifference. As soon as our marriage begins to falter and is teetering on boredom, we could be on the brink. Why wait until the symptoms show?

Keeping’¬†love’¬†alive is a full time job. We can’t be too engrossed in our daily routine that we forget about what it was like in the courtship and seduction stage. You might say, ‘But you’re being unrealistic. There comes a time when passion and intense love have to make way for the real demands of life children, finances, health, community, challenges at work.’

You may be right, but our opinion is that passion and intense love don’t have to be replaced by the real demands of life. Yes, we need to deal with problems and face them immediately, but who says we can’t work at the same time in keeping the flames of love burning? This is when we should push our imagination to the limit and say, ‘Hey, I can make this marriage work. I’m going to make it work. By hook or by crook!’

When we take up the challenge of spicing up our marriage, we give it a clean bill of health. And as we said, when a marriage is healthy, who needs a doctor in the house?

‘Marriage is like the witness protection program; you get all new clothes, you live in the suburbs, and you’re not allowed to see your friends anymore.’ (Jeremy Hardy)

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