Avoiding Spoiled Toddlers: Striking a Balance
When considering what it means to spoil a toddler, the first thing that comes to mind is buying them every toy, game, candy, or piece of clothing they desire. However, overindulgence takes many forms. For instance, I’ll admit I often let my two-year-old watch too much television. While everyone knows TV can negatively impact a young mind, I watched plenty as a child and turned out fine, arguably. The real issue isn’t the method of spoiling—whether it’s TV or toys—but the dangerous sense it gives children that they’re in charge. Babies are born kicking and screaming, engaging in a constant power struggle with their parents. I vowed never to break my kids’ spirits, but there comes a point when they must learn that Mom and Dad are in control, not them. When I ask parents of grown children when parenting gets easier, they often say, “When your kids are in their mid-twenties!” That’s a long wait for a parental sigh of relief, so it’s wise to establish authority early to make the journey smoother.
I’m far from a structured parent. As a free-spirited woman, I find schedules stifling. I chuckle at nanny shows that fix families by slapping a colorful chart on the fridge, mapping out every minute of the day. I’d lose my mind in that setup, but I do see value in some routine. Kids thrive on predictability. I hate surprises myself, even pleasant ones, so I understand their need to know what’s coming. My kids generally know what to expect daily, though we leave room for spontaneity. One thing they’re certain of is that Mom and Dad run the show. When spoiled kids take over, life becomes miserable for everyone.
Consequences of Overindulgence
Spoiled children often struggle to share with others. Without parental intervention to correct their mindset, they learn it’s acceptable to be greedy and refuse to play nicely. It’s normal for kids to go through a selfish phase, but by kindergarten, they should understand taking turns. This is especially true for only children or those with limited peer interaction, who need caregivers to teach sharing since it’s rarely required at home.
Another way to spoil a toddler is failing to teach them manners. Few things frustrate me more than a child interrupting adult conversations without correction. This signals to the child that the world revolves around them and their words are paramount. While we should be attentive to our kids, it must be at appropriate times. Neglecting to teach manners often stems from a larger issue: lack of discipline.
An undisciplined toddler faces a challenging future. Without parental guidance on proper behavior, they may be disliked by peers and authority figures. Some parents fear setting boundaries will make their child dislike them, but the opposite is true. Many of my friends wish their parents had been stricter, feeling neglected when not taught how to function in society. Overdisciplining, however, can be harmful—constant berating or disciplining out of anger can erode self-esteem or cross into abuse. Discipline should come from love and care, and in time, your child will appreciate it.
A lack of appreciation is another trait of spoiled toddlers. I frequently remind my children to say “thank you” for gifts. It bothers me when gift-givers dismiss the need for acknowledgment, as it undermines the lesson. A child who forgets to thank someone with parental prompting is likely even less grateful when parents aren’t around. Parenting is about preparing kids to function independently in society, and appreciation is key to social acceptance.
Spoiled toddlers also often fail to help around the house. Once a child can walk, they can contribute, even if it’s just handing you their shoes or putting away a toy. I wasn’t expected to do much as a child, with an older brother who did everything for me. This hindered me later, leaving me without integrity or self-motivation when given responsibility. Only through maturity did I become diligent, but I wonder what I could have achieved with earlier accountability.
Finally, spoiled toddlers master manipulation. With my first daughter, I didn’t realize how sneaky a small child can be. My second had no such luck—requests to stay up late or skip dinner for dessert were met with a firm “no.” How your children treat you reflects how they’ll treat others, so teaching empathy, gratitude, respect, and diligence is crucial. After all, nobody likes a spoiled brat.
2 Responses
You must have a sick mind to think children must be turned into robotic drones until they are 18. A toddler needs to sit quiet when an adult is talking to someone else? If there is a emergency or a situation I should attend to I don’t for one second want my child to think about waiting for an adult to finish a conversation. You are a parent, not a prison guard.
I came across this comment and had to reply. I have 3 kids of my own, 2.5 years old, 8 years old and 15 years old. They understand that is I’m talking to someone or on the phone they are not to interrupt me (excluding my 2.5 year old, he’s still learning)….
However, they do understand if THERE IS AN EMERGENCY, then it’s okay to interrupt me. I don’t know why it’s so black and white for you??? There’s always exceptions to any rule.
Just like calling 911, you should only call if it’s a real emergency, if it’s not, call the police station, if you need to speak to an officer.
Example: you get into a car accident, call 911…
Example: you look at your front door Ring camera and realize someone stole a package off your front porch, you call the police station.
Example: McDonalds gives you 9 chicken nuggets instead of the 10 you ordered and refuse to correct the order…DO NOT call the police, contact the manager or corporate!
If I’m on the phone and my 8 year old wants to talk to me about the latest Pokémon episode he watched, he needs to wait.
If I’m talking to someone in my house and my 15 year old got sick and threw up, then she knows she can interrupt me for help!
Common sense lady!!
My kids know they are expected to do chores in the house everyday, my daughter is responsible for emptying the dishwasher and garbage.
My eldest son is responsible for feeding the dog breakfast and dinner and picking up his messes…like putting his dishes in the dishwasher and his dirty clothes in the hamper.
Giving your children expectations of behavior is important to teach them to be responsible adults. I love my kids and I know it’s inportant to lay a foundation of responsibility, critical thinking skills and empathy when they are young so they can develop those skills through their childhood and have a firm grasp when they are an adult.
I used to be a manager and I hired many people who were under the age of 24 years old and I was baffled at their lack of self starting and critical thinking skills. I hired them to help run the coffee shop, yet when the garbage was full, they would come to me and say, “I can’t throw this away because the garbage is full.” I would just look at them flabbergasted that they didn’t just change the garbage! I would look and then and say, “change out the garbage.” You would have thought I told them something magical when they realized they could solve this problem on their own!
Too many kids these days are not being taught inportant life skills. Having a kid is not all fun and games, it’s a huge responsibility to raise another human being from infancy to a responsible and successful adult!
You can teach your children not to interrupt AND also teach them that if there’s an emergency they may interrupt.
I see memes about moms never getting privacy even when they are in the bathroom…I can’t even relate to those memes because I never had an issue with my kids bothering me while I was going to the bathroom because at a young age they knew to leave me alone in there UNLESS there was an emergency.
Kids are not stupid and they can grasp the concept of only interrupting if it’s an emergency.