Long before it actually happens, parents can see it coming. Soon after our children begin to walk, they start to explore things like holding crayons, scribbling with pencils (or Sharpies on the walls), packing book bags and lunchboxes, discovering all the colors of the rainbow, counting, and rehearsing their ABCs. It’s just a matter of time before they start school. And once they do, life changes drastically.
Starting school is one of those moments in life that is truly bittersweet. As much as it hurts to see your little one grow up and leave the comforts of home, there is also a sense of pride that emanates from their spirit and gently transfers to ours. For many parents, there’s a stage of manic clinging and swollen tears of pain as we watch our children prepare to leave us and learn to trust others in the big, wide world.
The Pressure to Start Early
Many parents (especially first-time ones) tend to feel that the sooner their children start school, the smarter they will be. It has become common to send children to 2-year-old programs to give them a head start on their academic success. It also feels somewhat more responsible to say your child is starting school, rather than just attending daycare. When they come home recognizing that grass is green and Elmo is red, we find comfort in thinking that we’ve made the right choice.
However, no one can judge what other parents do or when the right time to start school is. I can say for certain that children will learn everything they need to know in due time, no matter when they start!
Parents often worry about whether their child is “smart enough” or if they’re being properly stimulated at home. We spend millions of dollars on learning toys and forsake simple toys for the latest gadgets that supposedly spark a love of learning. The whole Baby Einstein series is an example of this. Sure, children find these things engaging, but the opening of their minds will happen naturally—without all the DVDs, computer games, or smart books. Their brain development will occur adequately through the loving, fostering attention they receive at home. The grocery store, library, park, car, and living room can be just as stimulating as a classroom full of snotty toddlers.
Keep in mind, what they won’t get at school is the solid foundation, love, security, dedication, appreciation, and self-confidence that come from a loving home.
The Impact of Starting School Early
Starting school too early can sometimes break the family bond. Some children crave and need the routine and structure of a controlled environment, while others may feel scared, timid, and unsure. Deciding when to start school for your child should largely be based on your understanding of them, not influenced by pediatricians’ recommendations or a sense of competition. Trust me, they will learn everything they need to know at the right time.
Preschool education often mirrors kindergarten curriculums. Sure, they may learn a bit faster in kindergarten if they’ve been introduced to it earlier, but they’ll still go over the same material. Meanwhile, we’ve taught our children to stand on their own, follow rules, and be responsible from an early age, while also passing on some invaluable bonding years that will strengthen our relationship in the long run.
In my experience, children sent to school too early can become overly trusting of strangers and may struggle to communicate openly with parents once the “tween” years hit. Perhaps it’s because we tend to be unavailable or inaccessible to our children at a young age, pushing them to learn to take care of themselves.
This might seem a bit harsh, but understandably, parents often have to make ends meet and may not have a choice but to send their kids to school early. Many parents also look forward to the time when all their children are in school, thinking life will become more relaxed as the hustle of raising toddlers comes to an end. Unfortunately, once elementary school starts, there are tons of activities to attend—field trips, class plays, after-school clubs—and, of course, homework. Your time will be stretched even further as you try to keep up with your child’s budding social life and extracurricular activities.
As your children grow and start school, the need for deeper, more meaningful conversations increases. You’ll act not only as a parent but as a counselor as well, helping them navigate real-life issues. It’s emotionally draining, and much harder to provide that loving attention all the time.
Starting school is undoubtedly a rite of passage. It provides structure and stimulation that are crucial for a child’s success in life. However, starting school can also be challenging for some children and exhausting for most. Whether they’re graduating from kindergarten or donning a cap and gown for their senior year, parents will always feel that bittersweet emotion. You’ll reflect on how quickly those first years passed and wonder if you should have held on to them just a little longer.
From the moment our kids are born, they’re growing away from us. They will eventually become independent, responsible adults. They will learn their ABCs, know how to read, and solve algebraic equations in due time—whether they start school at 2 or 5. Starting school early, although necessary for some, is a decision that should be made with the understanding that all things happen in their own time.
If you truly want to hold on to those younger years and savor every moment, maybe waiting a little longer to start school is the right decision. If there’s any doubt in your mind about your child’s readiness, keep them home a bit longer. Paint with Jell-O on the linoleum floor, let them sleep in until 10 a.m., and spend sunny days at the park or beach. Before you know it, these moments will become impossible to recreate.
