In the first few months of life, a pacifier, often called a soother, can be a godsend. Not only that, but the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends allowing your baby to sleep with a soother during infancy as a way to help reduce the risk of SIDS. A soother can also come in handy, acting like a crutch with the magical ability to soothe your baby during the fussiest of moments, making them automatically relax. The uses are vast, and the benefits to both mom and baby can be invaluable. The unfortunate part, however, is that taking away a child’s soother can prove to be one of the most difficult endeavors of early parenthood.
The Struggle of Taking Away the Soother
By the time your baby is six months old, the absolute need and suckling effect of a pacifier is no longer an issue. While it may have helped your baby sleep initially, it can suddenly become a nuisance. Every time your child loses it, they wake up screaming hysterically, which eventually disrupts more sleep than it causes. Drop it in the car, and you would think the end of the world is just around the corner as you dig through leftover happy meals on the floor of your van to find it. It also becomes annoying to see your walking baby with a pacifier in their mouth. It impedes everything from teeth development to speech and can become a disgusting source of germs and contamination, with no chance of ever really being clean. So, it must be taken away at some point—but when and how? No exhausted parent wants to face bedtime without the soother, and it almost seems cruel to take something so comforting away.
For parents who have never done this before, be advised right now: taking away a child’s soother is easiest around the 6–7 month mark. Beyond that, your child’s brain has developed to the point where out of sight doesn’t mean out of mind, and they realize the concept of object permanence. This means that just because you hide it, bury it in the yard, throw it in the trash, or ‘accidentally’ lose it, doesn’t mean it will be forgotten. You are more likely to find yourself cruising for an open drugstore at midnight rather than enduring the frustration from your child. Yes, at 6 months, your baby is still very much a baby, but in just a few weeks, they will turn the corner to hardheaded toddlerhood and be closer to the terrible twos than ever before. The best advice you can follow is to take away your child’s soother sooner rather than later!
Consider limiting its use at 6 months during the day and only allowing it for the first few minutes of sleep. Then, remove it completely and don’t offer it back. Your baby is likely to forget about it in just a few days. If you wait until your child is a year or more, you will be facing a hiatus at night and during any other time your child needs to self-soothe. If your child is already older and completely addicted to their pacifier, there is really no easy way to take it away except to just do it and endure the next few days.
You may think that the soother is not hurting anything. The reality, however, is that it is. Your baby can suckle with or without a pacifier in their mouth, and as soon as teeth begin to erupt, the pacifier can produce bacteria and contribute to tooth decay. Additionally, the soft tissue of your child’s mouth is still pliable, and the constant use of a pacifier can alter the shape of their mouth and gums, potentially leading to orthodontic issues later in life. They are also communicatively inhibited, as they will either try to talk with the pacifier in their mouth or remove it only to talk. This can delay speech development and also affect their self-confidence, potentially leading to anxiety. Children who use soothers beyond 6 months are twice as likely to develop or redevelop thrush, and the constant exposure to saliva can disrupt digestion, leading to stomach upset. Furthermore, pediatric dental specialists actually advise parents to transition to sippy cups as soon as possible, avoiding those with spill-proof lids to prevent continuous sucking, which leads to tooth decay, caries, and developmental issues.
If you send your child to preschool with a pacifier, realize that there is a good chance it will be taken away before you even restart your car to leave. Plus, it’s coated with bacteria and viruses from being stuck in other children’s mouths and dirty toy boxes throughout the day. Similarly, you’ve probably seen a 2-year-old drop their soother on the grocery store floor only to pick it up and pop it back in before mom even looks. Talk about disgusting. Do you really want to subject your child to this?
Taking away a child’s soother is not an easy thing to do for YOU. Going cold turkey is really the best approach, and if your child is old enough, presenting it as a rite of passage—becoming a big girl or boy—and replacing the pacifier with a favorite new toy can make the transition easier. Soothers are unnecessary for your baby and are, quite simply, just an accessory that indicates mom and dad are addicted to the quiet it brings. When your child realizes that they are fine without it and that mom and dad aren’t anxious about the whole thing, they too will not be traumatized by its removal.
