Taking Time Off before College

What Do College Graduates Really Know?

Okay, sure—they have hopefully invested Mom and Dad’s money wisely by paying attention. As a result, they can now read, recite, and remember all the lessons and texts they painstakingly studied over the past four (or so) years. More than likely, they have some sort of resume at this point in their life, which proves, without a doubt, that they are moving in a direction more impressive than bartending. Yet, in order to fill up space on the 8 ½ x 11-inch sheet of paper, they are still forced to include all the little clubs and achievements—like marching band and Jr. Beta—that date back to middle school, in order to impress prospective employers. The truth is, they still know very little. About life!

In many ways, it is preposterous that so many teenagers are asked to make firm decisions about how they want to spend the rest of their lives upon high school graduation. These teenagers, entering college, are still depending on clean laundry from Mom, and are driving beat-up old Datsuns that haven’t been made in 15 years. They are paying hobos to buy them cigarettes and beer because, legally, they aren’t able to do so themselves. Yet, adults expect them to know what they want to do for a living. HA! Few know what they want to do Friday night.

And What’s Wrong with a Little Life Experience? Taking Time Off Before College Can Be a Good Thing!

There is a huge push for parents to get their kids into the best colleges to pursue the best careers that make the best salaries. Kids, rather than following their own interests and perhaps talents, are backing out of fields like nursing or teaching because they “hear” the salaries aren’t comparable to those of a broker or orthodontist. Even so, with no real-life experience under their belt—such as dealing with paying bills, being responsible for their decisions, paving their own path, or even something as simple as keeping track of their car insurance policy—how are they going to be equipped to handle some of these high-stress jobs? Even with a four-year college degree, the lack of maturity and clinging to old, passed-down ideals doesn’t make them world-ready. Let’s face it—college life is nothing like real life!

And What’s the Harm in Waiting a Year or Two?

Think about it this way: There are a lot of thirty-somethings who sit back and look at their lives, truly wishing they had made some alternative decisions rather than following the pushy lead of educators and parents. Suddenly, they are trapped into looking at the teeth of grimy teenagers all day, and have three kids at home to provide for. They remember how they used to love to draw or write, or how they really wanted to join the Coast Guard, rather than go to orthodontic school. Yet they were rushed and made to feel as if they were being lazy and indecisive, destined to follow the map to Loserville if they waited even a few months to start their collegiate career. And now, they are trapped, unable to experiment with their dreams or passions, or learn new real-life skills. It’s definitely too late to visit another country, learn about other cultures, experience what it’s like to really need something, take the other fork in the road, or even have time to figure out who they really are and what they truly love about life. Poll countless married couples with kids, and they’ll admit they wish they had taken some time for themselves before rushing to become grown-ups.

From the time children are born, they are groomed into the image of what Mom and Dad and the world expect them to be. They spend 12 or more years in controlled environments at public schools, only to be given a longer leash to live in yet another controlled environment. The problem is, living below the realistic radar doesn’t make anyone more ready to live or prosper. Just as a 3-year-old has one chance to stay home another year or two before going to school, the same is true for a 17-year-old high school graduate.

There is nothing wrong with taking a little time off between worlds to catch your breath. This doesn’t mean that a recent high school graduate should be allowed to mooch off Mom and Dad, sleep all day, party all night, not work, and just live the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle. It does mean they should be allowed to feel the weight of responsibility and figure out life without the controlled environment constantly influencing their choices. Volunteer at the soup kitchen downtown, take a trip to Europe, be part of a mission in another part of the world. Get a full-time job that doesn’t pay squat, rent an apartment with friends, and grow up a little! There are millions of things that kids (and they are kids) this age can gain from life experience—especially before entering and finalizing their college plans.

There are definitely some teens who are ready for what college has to offer. Yet, there are many who just aren’t! This time of transitioning from child to adult can be as emotionally intense for a teen as it is for a toddler starting preschool. Remember how much your child matured between the ages of 3 and 4? They will mature that quickly (and possibly more so) in the year following graduation. When they do, they will be able to make better choices and decisions for themselves and gain more control over where their life is headed. This way, they will never look back with regret, and they will certainly be able to say they have life experience backing up their decisions.

Too often, people are in a rush for life to happen. Then, one day, you wake up and realize you wish it would slow down. Allowing your child to wait a bit before starting college or university—online if they need it—is not time wasted, but life gained.