There comes a time in every child’s life when they start to question everything they’ve been taught by their elders. Specifically, kids begin to doubt the reality of certain fantastical characters, such as the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and yes, even Santa Claus. Seeds of doubt can be planted in various ways: a “mean” older sibling, a classmate who wasn’t raised to believe, or simply the impossibility of Santa visiting every mall, street corner, and parade in the country at the same time.
My oldest daughter found out early. She was around six or seven when a well-meaning friend mentioned that she had discovered the Tooth Fairy was fake at a young age, all while my daughter, unbeknownst to us, was standing in the room behind us. My daughter looked at me in disbelief, and we both started crying as her innocence was shattered prematurely. My friend, to her credit, couldn’t stop apologizing for revealing the truth.
The Heartache of Growing Up
My middle daughter was around nine when she found out, courtesy of my firstborn. She was completely unfazed and moved on without any ill feelings. Her indifference was oddly comforting to me.
Now, my youngest—who’s currently 10—began getting suspicious this year after hearing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” on the car radio. I glanced at her face in the rearview mirror and saw the wheels turning. She asked if Santa was really Daddy, and before I could respond, she declared, “Yes, that must be it.” Then, she accused my husband and me of buying and bringing the gifts on Christmas Eve.
And thus began my moral dilemma. Of course, she was right, and I had spent her entire life enforcing the idea that honesty is the best policy—always tell the truth, never lie. But innocence fades so quickly, especially in our social media-obsessed world, where everyone knows everything, whether they want to or not. And she’s my youngest. Her knowing the truth would sadly mark the end of an era—my kids being kids, none the wiser.
Instead of admitting that she was correct, I chickened out and changed the subject. I’m just not ready to burst her bubble. Maybe she senses that and doesn’t want to burst mine either by telling me that she already knows the truth. Her sisters get upset with me and urge me to set her straight, simply because they’re tired of living the charade themselves. I tell them to hush and threaten them with punishment if they ever let the cat out of the bag.
To make matters worse, my husband and I frequently go out “Christmas shopping” now that my teenager is old enough to babysit. In reality, we just go on dates with each other, but my youngest has asked about this, too. She wonders why we need to go shopping if Santa’s the one who delivers the gifts. I respond with yet another falsehood, claiming that Santa brings some gifts while we give others. Lies, lies, lies. There’s a large box of presents in my closet that I’ve told the kids to stay away from, which only makes things more confusing for my daughter.
I’m guessing this will be the last year of this charade. I’m pretty sure she’s figured it out, and soon she’ll start asking about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I imagine I’ll break down and admit the truth sooner rather than later. The mix of sadness, guilt, and wistfulness will flood me for the third time in my parenting life. I hope she’s easy on me when it happens. After I come clean, I’ll tell her what I told my other two daughters.
Santa is real. No, not the guy who miraculously travels the world in one night delivering gifts to millions of kids, but the concept of Santa is alive and well. The reason we’re really here is to serve and love. It’s all about giving, not getting. They call it the most wonderful time of the year for a reason. We’re all idealists in December, filled with hope, positivity, and enthusiasm for all that’s good in the world. If we’ve had a hard year, it’s almost over, ending in the warm glow of Christmas cheer and preparing us for the fresh start ahead.
It’s okay to believe in fantasies. From the time our kids are little, we enrich their lives with them—princesses, fairy tales, dragon slayers. We do everything we can to stimulate their imaginations and let creativity run wild. Why stop at Santa and his fellow holiday mascots? Daydreaming and fantasizing can make life more bearable, especially when things get tough. I say we encourage those things.
As for my youngest daughter, I’ll let her decide when she no longer believes. I certainly won’t be the one to sit her down and say, “We’ve lied to you all along. It’s time to grow up and face reality.” As for you and your kids? Only you can decide when the time is right to tell your kids about Santa. And only you can decide how to explain why you didn’t tell them earlier. I hope every child understands that their parents always have their best interests at heart, even when it involves little lies.
