It seems silly. But there are many different things about a married couple or one that is living together that make them “cohabitationally” compatible. Truth is, you never really know someone until you live with them, and quite often, it is the little things about our partners that end up driving us crazy. Certainly, love is not enough to survive living together.
For instance, the fact that your husband/partner knows not to talk to you before 9am every morning because of your utter disdain for mornings or your wife’s/partner’s realization that folding the newspaper in a certain ‘incorrect’ manner would mean war are just two examples of things that people living together learn to tolerate about one another. It is these simple things, often overlooked through the courting phase despite sleepovers and joint vacations that folks deciding to live together must hash out if the relationship has any chance of survival. Another, interestingly enough is to decide who gets which side of the bed? The last thing you want to happen on your first night under the same roof is to hear the frustrated voice of your partner saying, ‘that’s MY side of the bed!’ ‘so move!’
Funnily enough, there is no right or wrong answer for which half of the partnership gets which side of the bed. We have checked through traditions that date back thousands of years, and they too don’t seem to give any clue about whether men should sleep on the left and women on the right or vice versa. Essentially, it is a personal choice. That being said, according to Feng Shui, in order to induce romance in the bedroom and create positive energy for the relationship a man should take the left side of the bed while a woman should take the right.
And, if your man is a little grumpy or moody from time to time there is another reason allowing him to have the left side of the bed might come in handy. Research (and YES there as actually research about this) shows that people who sleep on the left side of the bed tend to be more energetic and happier in the morning. Left side of the bed sleepers, also tend to have attitudes that are more positive and are able to handle conflicts more easily. (Go figure) This gives proof to the lending that you really can wake up on the wrong side of the bed so to speak.
In most couples, this decision is made by chance. You start out sleeping in one place and then typically stay there forever and ever. It is rare that couples switch sides of the room or bed. Some couples decide based on the layout of the room. For instance, if there are two closets in the room you sleep on the side of the bed that is closest to YOUR closet.
According to some traditions that are loosely interpreted, men should also sleep on the side of the bed that is closest to the door in order to act as a protector should anything go wrong during the night. For instance, if an intruder bursts into the room the man should be the closest to him so he can protect the woman. (But we all know he is so busy snoring that he likely won’t know anyone is there until the woman screams bloody murder). While this method of formulating whom sleeps on which side of the bed may not be conscious, around 78% of men included in a sleep study said that they sleep on the left side of the bed, or the side of the bed that was closest to the bedroom door. Go figure.
You might be surprised, but for some couples the decision of who sleeps where comes down to a coin toss. Let’s be real, sharing a bed every single night is different from just spending the night with your partner every once in a while. What if both of you covet the left side of the bed? What if you can only lie on one side of your body or sleep in one certain position that requires you to have a certain half of the bed to call your own? Hopefully, your partner will be compassionate to your needs and learn to readjust his or her sleeping habits so that the two of you can at least get a good nights rest. After a while, chances are pretty high that whoever swapped sides will adjust to the new sleeping arrangement without any setbacks. If not the two of you could easily swap off sides of the bed for certain periods of time or move the bed to another position in the room to try and make the most out of a nagging situation.
In the scope of things that the two of you should be arguing about who gets which side of the bed seems pretty insignificant. Make the best of your sleeping arrangements and do your very best to accommodate one another so that both of you ended up well rested in the morning.
Or, better yet, get a dog— or two- they will sleep around your natural position.