That’s My Side of the Bed – Which Side of The Bed to You Sleep On?

It might seem trivial, but there are many aspects of living together that determine how “cohabitationally” compatible a couple is. The truth is, you never really know someone until you live with them, and often, it’s the little things about our partners that end up driving us crazy. Love alone isn’t enough to survive living together.

For example, your husband or partner might know not to speak to you before 9 a.m. because of your utter disdain for mornings, or your wife or partner might realize that folding the newspaper a certain “incorrect” way could spark a mini-war. These are just two examples of things couples living together learn to tolerate. It’s the small things—often overlooked during the courting phase despite sleepovers and joint vacations—that couples must work through to ensure their relationship has any chance of survival. One such decision, humorously enough, is deciding who gets which side of the bed. The last thing you want on your first night living together is to hear your partner exclaim, “That’s MY side of the bed!” to which you reply, “So move!”

Who Sleeps Where?

Interestingly, there’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to which partner gets which side of the bed. We’ve checked traditions dating back thousands of years, and they offer no clues on whether men should sleep on the left side and women on the right, or vice versa. Ultimately, it’s a personal choice. However, according to Feng Shui, to foster romance and positive energy in the bedroom, a man should sleep on the left side of the bed, while a woman should sleep on the right.

And if your partner tends to be a bit grumpy or moody, there’s another reason why allowing him to have the left side might be beneficial. Research (yes, there’s actually research on this!) shows that people who sleep on the left side of the bed tend to be more energetic and happier in the morning. Left-side sleepers also tend to have a more positive attitude and handle conflicts more easily. Who would have thought that the side of the bed you sleep on could affect your mood?

For many couples, this decision is made by chance. You start out sleeping in one spot, and over time, it becomes “your” side. It’s rare for couples to switch sides of the bed once they’ve established a routine. Some couples might even choose sides based on the room’s layout—for example, sleeping on the side nearest to their closet.

In some traditions, it’s said that men should sleep on the side closest to the door, acting as a protector in case of an emergency. If an intruder were to burst in, the man would be closest to the door to defend the woman. But, as we all know, he’s probably too busy snoring to even notice until the woman screams for help! While this tradition may not always be consciously followed, a sleep study found that 78% of men sleep on the left side of the bed, or the side nearest the bedroom door. Go figure.

For some couples, the decision of who sleeps where comes down to something as simple as a coin toss. Sharing a bed every single night is different from just spending the night together occasionally. What if both of you prefer the left side of the bed? What if you can only sleep in one position that requires a particular side of the bed? Hopefully, your partner will be understanding and willing to adjust so that both of you can enjoy a good night’s rest. Over time, whoever switches sides will likely adjust to the new arrangement without any major issues. If not, you can always alternate sides of the bed or even move the bed to a different position in the room to make the situation more manageable.

In the grand scheme of things, arguing over who gets which side of the bed seems relatively insignificant. Make the most of your sleeping arrangements and do your best to accommodate one another so that both of you wake up well-rested in the morning.