Some divorces are really messy and are unavoidable. There are others that are more civil as both parties understand that they need to move on but bear no resentment. It is possible to go through an amicable divorce that works out for both parties and gives everybody the chance to get past it and start rebuilding their lives.
An amicable divorce is also the best situation for children as a messy divorce can be quite traumatic. When there is divorce mediation, there is a much better chance of having a civil and respectful separation that benefits everybody. In this article, we will go through how to get through the mediation process for an easy divorce.
1 – Get a lawyer
Although a mediator is there to try to figure out what is best for both parties, you want to make sure that you are able to get most of what you are looking for. This means that you should definitely have a lawyer for this process. Going through it alone is likely to make your case more difficult than it needs to be.
This doesn’t mean that you are going to try to extract every possible concession from your soon-to-be ex-spouse. It just means that you want to make sure that your interests are covered. A divorce lawyer will know exactly the right approach to take during mediation so you are able to put your best foot forward and not be taken advantage of.
They have experience with certain mediators even which gives them a perspective and knowledge about how things will go. They know how the mediator will react and will craft a strategy with this knowledge in mind.
They will understand when to push and when to back off. Without this expertise, you could make some errors that jeopardize your position.
2 – Don’t get emotional
Of course, a divorce is an extremely emotional time since you are separating from a person you loved and maybe still love. It is always sad when circumstances change and a partnership has to dissolve. Emotions will certainly be a part of the process.
However, during the mediation, it is very helpful to take a step back and have a nonemotional response to things. Treat the proceedings as if they were part of a business deal.
You’ll be looking after your best interests and shouldn’t be looking for revenge on the partner no matter what their misdeeds were. If you take the anger, frustration, and hurt out of the equation you will be able to better navigate the mediation and be able to get the most concessions possible as a result.
Emotions can cloud your judgment and cause you to make poor decisions that can hurt the entire proceeding.
3 – Have your finances in order
The point of contention in many divorces is all about the finances. Money is a driving force behind the tension that results from a separation. This makes it very important that you have all of your finances organized in a way that a mediator can easily see what they are dealing with.
This means that you will need to show all of your assets, but also all of your debts and expenses. Your assets might make it look on paper that you are well off. A closer inspection may show that you are treading water due to the number of bills that you have.
One thing to be sure to avoid is hiding some of your assets. If it comes out that you have money or assets hidden then it will bring down your entire case and will cause you to lose much more than you were prepared to compromise.
4 – Pick the right mediator
You have the ability to choose a mediator so it pays off to do some research ahead of time. In fact, this is one of the biggest benefits of going through mediation rather than opting to go to court. You can’t choose who the judge is in a court case in a divorce and you may end up with less than you bargained for.
Take a look at the credentials of the mediator so you can be sure that they have some expertise and experience in deciding divorces. You should be able to see a history of the cases they’ve worked on and the results. This will give you an idea of if you think they will be able to get you what you are interested in.