Changing a diaper is a skill that must be perfected through repetition. Thank goodness you’ll have to do it a couple thousand times before your child decides to use the toilet instead of soiling himself. Moms and dads change diapers in distinctly different ways, each developing their own style. I’m not saying one parent typically does a better job than the other, but let’s face it—moms usually do tend to handle this department a little better. Your husband may be a soldier or a firefighter, but nothing reduces a man to a squeamish coward like the task of changing a dirty diaper.
There are different challenges to diaper-changing at each stage of a baby’s development. When they are newborns, you’re too enamored and exhausted to be repulsed by your baby’s waste products. In fact, you may even feel proud of your child’s output and track it on a chart. I was never one of those moms. I just kind of hoped everything would work out in that area. Literally.
Once your child starts eating solid foods, things get a whole lot messier down there. A rainbow of different textures presents itself with every change. You might even be surprised to see some undigested lunch or a non-edible object in the diaper. Now you’ll realize how important it is to vacuum regularly when you have a curious baby who wants to put everything in his mouth.
The Challenges of Toddler Diapers
Toddler excrement is just revolting. The volume and frequency of their offerings can be shocking for someone so small. You’ll be thankful your child is so cute and says such funny things because otherwise, the diaper task could be a deal-breaker at this stage. What’s worse, some kids have no interest in potty-training, so your stubborn child might be well into her fourth year of life before she’s ready to use the big girl toilet. Of course, this is purely hypothetical, and I’m definitely not speaking from experience… little imp.
One situation you never want to find yourself in is changing an abominable diaper without a supply of wipes on hand. This has happened to me more times than I care to admit. You’d think I would have learned to locate the wipes before attempting the diaper change, but no. My very squirmy, impatient kid is already lying on the floor, waiting for the new diaper I insisted she wear while I run around like a headless chicken looking the fool. Some wet paper towels usually save the day… unless we’re out of those too. Then it’s bath time at three in the afternoon!
My least favorite part of parenting is the unexpected blowouts that always seem to happen while I’m shopping with the baby. I love shopping and enter a store like it’s some magical world ready for my discovery. With baby on my hip, I start to sort through the merchandise. Suddenly, a familiar and awful smell catches my attention. If it was just contained in the baby’s diaper, I’d be fine. However, not only will I be purchasing a new outfit for the baby, but also for myself. Wait a minute… unexpected blowouts that only happen while I’m shopping are actually my favorite part of parenting!
Another diaper-changing challenge is dealing with a fidgety baby who somehow has the strength of a grown man. By the time you’re finished with the diaper change, you’re both covered in stuff, along with the surface your baby is lying on. Some babies just hate having their diapers changed, but even more so, they hate having a soiled diaper. These difficult tots can really try a mom’s patience.
Not being naturally patient, but being quite frugal, I prefer to buy the cheap store-brand diapers. These are the ones emblazoned with lesser cartoon characters whose agents can only secure them work lending their image to the budget brands. This is a gamble at best. Sometimes you hit the jackpot, and the generic diapers are just as good—if not better—than the name brands. Other times, you’ve got a box of duds, and you’ll spend the next few weeks cursing your thrifty ways as the diapers leak and the tabs rip off before you can even fasten them. Thank goodness for duct tape.
Another cheap move I make is to buy one size of diapers for both my diapered children. One weighs 17 pounds, and the other weighs about 30 pounds, so I buy a size in between what they should be wearing. Now, my husband is quick to point out that I’m still using the same amount of diapers as I would if I bought two sizes, but the trick is that you get more diapers in a box for the same price if you go for the smaller size. Most of the time, I do this simply because I can only manage to pick up and place one cumbersome box in the cart while holding my surgically-attached-to-my-hip baby.
In today’s “green” society, there’s a constant debate about whether you should use disposable or cloth diapers. I will honestly admit that I am not woman enough to use cloth diapers. Yes, I’m just too lazy to deal with the hassle of cleaning them. Environmental Protection Agency—come handcuff me and lock me up. I surrender. I promise I’ll sign up to conserve some acreage in a rainforest or adopt a polar bear.
This brings us to the subject of disposal. People spend a lot of money on special canisters specifically for this purpose. In my opinion, they don’t really work. Their function is to quell the stench, but I must have the nose of a bloodhound because nothing can mask that odor. Air fresheners don’t help either… they just make it smell like you changed a flower’s diaper. Now I simply put the offending object in a plastic grocery store bag, tie it up, and toss it in the kitchen trash. Chalk me up for another environmental offense.
Well, diapers are a sad but requisite part of life when you have a baby. Try not to think about them too much. Change them in the same spirit you do your taxes—out of duty—and do it with a smile on your face. After all, your kid may end up changing your diapers in your later years.
