The method of our electronic communication is quickly changing the face of common etiquette. Just a few short years ago, people sent out party invitations, mailed thank you notes, completed birth announcements, and even published obituaries in the newspaper. Today, all of this can be handled by text, Facebook, or even Twitter. In fact, the capability to send out mass information quickly through text and social media like Facebook has almost put an end to the need to purchase pens or learn how to write properly.
But have we as a society gone too far?
It wasn’t that long ago when people started complaining about calling customer service only to get an automated system instead of a live human to help. Now, that is a complaint of the past. We are lucky to be able to contact customer service at all, unless through the brainchild of electronic communication. Just for fun, try looking for a phone number on a company’s website, and you’ll find that, more than likely, you’re constantly redirected from one form of electronic media to another. And if you do get a phone number, there is likely a message that says your complaint or problem can be handled more efficiently online.
The extent of texting also brings to mind the question of how manners are changing. Suddenly, your teenager receiving a $100 bill in the mail from Grandma is now texting, “TKS G-MAMA” in some twisted code that defies the rules of spelling, grammar, and common niceties. Is texting an appropriate venue for getting and staying in touch with loved ones? Would you send someone a text to announce a person’s passing, or simply make a post on Facebook to announce your child’s birth? Apparently, today – the answer is yes. The funny thing is that, as widespread and common as texting and Facebooking have become, even the spell check on this very document is continuously underlining and flagging the words texting and Facebook as grammatically incorrect.
The real question is whether or not we, as a society, are losing the ability to communicate with one another through words, gestures, and honest interactions. By sending a text, an email, or posting on Facebook – we are able to stay detached from communication, often creating an alter ego or false persona, and remaining social while distancing ourselves from real-life contact. While our social needs may be met by using such convenient methods to communicate, our physical and emotional needs are not. In fact, most people would have to admit that it is downright rude, arrogant, and ridiculous to share certain information with others through text or social media sites. Yet, most people do it anyway. Why?
The bottom line is that texting and social media have replaced human interaction. Go to Joe Blue High School in any town in the U.S., and you will find 100 teenagers with busy fingers, heads staring down at tiny computer screens, distracted to the point of danger while communicating with friends. Sadly, the ‘real’ people in their presence are all but ignored. You have to wonder if these teens are missing an important part of life – real, eye-to-eye communication with another person. In fact, in today’s teen culture, it is perfectly acceptable for teens to ask one another on a date, invite someone to prom, or make plans completely via text messaging. Status updates on social media sites are often done in code, in a language specifically created by teens to deceive adults.
So what happens when these same teens go on their first job interview?
How many kids have you seen working at fast food restaurants, taking your orders while texting or checking Facebook? In a recent survey by Harris Interactive, it was revealed that 47% of all teens can text with their eyes closed and feel that their lives would end if they did not have access to their cell phone or computer. Four out of every five teens carry some sort of wireless device, often called a PDA, and 67% believe that it is the key to their happiness and social status. The teens in this survey also admitted to spending more time texting and using social media to interact with friends and family than they did actually talking. Of the one billion texts sent wirelessly each day, teens are responsible for around 42% of them.
Is sitting down and having a conversation becoming a lost art?
The sad part is that adults too are becoming guilty of using text messages and social media sites like Facebook to interact with friends. In a life that many feel has become busier than ever, texting and Facebook offer people the opportunity to be instantly connected to multiple people, sharing large amounts of information quickly. The best part is that it can be done while they are doing other things, which is seen as a time saver among other things.
However, the downside is that with all these social interactions taking place wirelessly through technology, people are losing the intimacy of face-to-face relationships. While the computer age enables us to share information, it does not allow us to revel in the human connectedness that only physically speaking to one another can provide.
Plus, in numerous instances, text messaging is just plain rude and uncalled for.
What do you think of the following situations?
How many times have you had a conversation with someone while they were either reading or constructing a text? Few of us would accept a regular voice call if we were in a face-to-face conversation, yet millions of people will text in the midst of real-life conversations with others.
Is asking someone out, breaking up with them, changing plans, or dealing with issues of the heart truly appropriate via text? Most people say it isn’t, and in fact, believe that as a texting courtesy, some things should be handled with voice calls. Yet every day, millions of people are broken-hearted by a text message or Facebook status update.
Have you ever sent a text without expecting a response? Is it appropriate to expect one? The truth is, there aren’t really any ‘rules’ in place when it comes to responding to texts. Many people simply set their phones to automatically inform them when a message is received. But isn’t a simple “thanks,” “okay,” “yes,” or “no” still just common courtesy?
How should we interpret one another’s tone in a text message or Facebook update? Is it the rule of thumb to insert a smiley face, wink, or even a mad face to express emotion? And furthermore, should a text message sound wrong – should it be readdressed through text? The bottom line is that a text is nothing but typed words, and real-life communication gains a lot from tone and expression.
If any top employer were to receive a text from a newly hired teen in the hodgepodge lingo of texting, would they be wrong to assume the kid had no idea about proper grammar or spelling? Honestly, text messages and computer code lingo are difficult to decipher – especially for those not accustomed to it. Is it even normal, allowed, or socially responsible?
IDK, ttyl!
Text messaging has also replaced people’s common sense about when to contact one another. Receiving a text message at 4 AM or 10 PM seems to be considered okay by today’s standards. But is it?
And of course, are there any rules about when you should call? If you are announcing news that is traumatic, life-altering, or extremely personal – should it even be done by text? While you can certainly send out lots of texts at once rather than calling people on the phone, aren’t there some instances where a voice call is just appropriate?
The worst thing about texting, or any other type of social media, is that far too many people seem to forget that these devices have an off button. In a world that is super busy, it seems to make more sense to take the time to be completely off, unreachable, and relaxed. Yet very rarely do people set down their phones. Today, it is estimated that around 42 million people are ‘addicted’ to social media sites and feel the effects of physical withdrawal when forced to give them up. Most of us have become completely distracted, so that even when we are with our families, enjoying downtime – we are hunkering toward our PDAs to stay updated.
The truth is, it has all gone too far.
While it is pleasant, even handy, to have all this technology at our fingertips – it also should not be used to replace or avoid human interaction. The sad part is that with all this access to communicative devices, people are often more distracted and disconnected than ever. The best way to manage texting and Facebooking in your own life is to decide exactly how it will be used, and how you will accept it from others. If someone will not be your friend because you don’t accept texts, or because you refuse to get on Facebook – chances are they wouldn’t offer much to your life anyway. At least, not anything you could understand….
