Get your cameras ready, because the first day of kindergarten is one you’ll look back on for the rest of your life. Even if your child has attended preschool, there’s nothing quite as frightening and tear-jerking as watching your 5-year-old walk off to school with a book bag almost as big as they are. This marks the beginning of their educational career—and life away from the tender arms of mom and dad. Some kids look forward to it with animated excitement, while many others are torn to pieces about leaving their parents for an entire day. Sadly, this day is bittersweet for mom and dad.
Chances are, if you look out into the parking lot, you won’t be the only parent hanging around, hoping to catch a glimpse of your child on the playground. You worry about them fitting in with the other kids, whether their teacher will treat them well, if they’ll cry, get hungry, or miss you terribly. You wonder if they’re ready for school and if they’ll learn at the same pace as the other kids. You might also feel a quiet sadness that, although you’ve been secretly waiting for this day, now that it’s here, you wish they could stay a little longer in the safety of your care. Just yesterday, they were a baby, and today, they’re taking their first steps into the great big world where the umbrella of your protection can no longer cover them.
Preparing for the First Day
It’s important to know what to expect. Most schools offer an orientation, which is a great opportunity for both you and your child to familiarize yourselves with the classroom and teacher. Depending on your situation, your child may or may not know anyone in their class. If they’re nervous, look at the class list and try to find a familiar face. You can also ask the teacher if your child could sit with someone they know to ease the transition. If you have questions about their day, make sure to discuss them with the teacher. Kindergarten teachers are usually very good at reassuring parents and addressing their concerns. However, remember that it’s also their job to help your child separate from you and begin their journey of independence. If the teacher seems eager to establish boundaries beyond the orientation, it’s often in the child’s best interest. While you might want to work at the school to keep an eye on your child, this can sometimes complicate things.
Kindergarten teachers are accustomed to children crying and clinging to their parents as if they’re holding on for dear life. This won’t make you feel any better about sending them off, but most kids adjust once they realize mom and dad are gone. Peeking through windows or hanging around the school actually sends the message to your child that you’re anxious, which can increase their anxiety. There are also children who seem to gallop off to class without a second glance, leaving parents feeling like they’ve failed somehow. After all, how can they leave so easily? Rest assured, these differences are often simply a matter of personality and experience. While it may feel nice to have your child miss you, it’s heart-wrenching to see them struggling with fear when it’s time to let go of your hand.
It’s important for parents to prepare their child for the first day of kindergarten. Start talking about it long before the big day arrives. Choose books, movies, and other media that your child can relate to about going off to school. Present kindergarten as an adventure where they’ll learn new skills, do fun activities, and enjoy exciting snacks. Allow your child to help pick out their book bag, lunch box, and some clothes that they’ll love wearing to school. Be careful to hide your own uneasiness about the situation, as children can easily pick up on their parents’ emotions. Kids thrive in the structured and controlled environment of a classroom, and chances are, you’ll see more growth this year than in any other year of their life.
If your child is nervous or upset about starting school—or is particularly clingy—you might want to spend some time getting them used to being without you before the big day. Some children, especially those who’ve been at home with you, may feel deeply threatened by the separation. They may worry (unrealistically) that you won’t pick them up or that something will happen to you when they’re not around. This is completely natural. It may take some time for this child to adjust to school, but eventually, they will. Don’t be devastated if, by Halloween, they’re still crying about going to school. If this happens, talk to the teacher to see how they behave once you’re gone—you might be surprised to learn that they’re perfectly happy once you’re a safe distance away.
The first day of kindergarten is a big milestone for both kids and parents. The curriculum isn’t just about learning to read or write—it’s also about teaching children how to socialize and become independent from their parents. Yes, they’re still little kids, your babies. But you should encourage them to grow and make decisions on their own. When parents genuinely support their children’s growth and independence, kids tend to thrive. If you cling too tightly, you may stifle their opportunities to mature. Try to find a balance between feeling sad and being proud, so that you can walk your child to the door and help them take their first steps into the rest of their life.
