The search for the ideal husband is an eternal one! The truth is that it is rare in life that any one thing or person turns out to be “ideal” and choosing words like reasonable, amicable, livable, satisfying and acceptable would be better terms with which to describe your husband. If you can find a man you can live with; you are in luck! Of course there are certain strategies handed down from generations of women that can help lend a hand in finding a husband that is ideal for you. The trick is getting a new generation of women and wives to be to pay attention. Blinded by love, marriage is often entered into without heeding the most well intended warnings!
One of the things that makes finding an ideal husband so difficult to find is that your idea of ‘ideal’ will change drastically throughout marriage. In the beginning, a passionate lover and mostly considerate man can be the one of your dreams. Nevertheless, add a few kids, a house payment and life struggles you are bound to find out that no matter how great they are in the bedroom, their life skills are such that you don’t want them to touch you anymore.
First, think of your partner in terms of long term! Test the waters and imagine how he would react in certain situations. Most married women will tell you to stay as far away from “mama’s boys” as humanly possible. No matter how cute or endearing their feelings for their mother seem to you in the beginning, they will eventually become the center of a heated marriage! Mama’s boys are notorious for never growing up and for always running back to mama when their wife doesn’t seem to be perfect anymore. When grandchildren come along this entire situation is a recipe for disaster that can literally ruin your life. There WILL come a time when you husband will have to choose between you and his mama and real mamas boys ALWAYS choose mom! The problem is not your man but the fact that he has primped and trained his entire life to be utterly dependant upon his mother. This way she is always needed and comes first. The first sign of a new woman entering the picture throws this woman into a panic and she will become manipulative and destructive to the relationship! Men like this just don’t make good or remotely close to ‘ideal husbands.”
The other non-ideal husband is he who can’t hold down a job! If while you are dating he has been in and out of jobs as often as you change the sheets, he will not be a good provider. He will not be reliable and you will be ultimately responsible for everything. While family responsibility should fall on both of your shoulders, the constantly unemployed burger flipper has no motivation or goals in life which will only hold you back. Again, add a few kids and a house payment – disaster!
The qualities that really do make the ideal husband are probably different for every woman; but there are qualities to look for in the man you intend to marry! Look for honesty and respect first. He can be many things, but he should be honest and he should be respectful of you and your life. Look for a man that isn’t afraid to talk about things. If you don’t take advantage of this, chances are you will have a great line of communication that will go far. Look for a man who has lived on his own already. Perhaps his house is not a pillar of neatness and organization but as long as it looks a step up from a frat house, you should be okay. If it is obsessively neat – watch out, these men are usually very controlling! They have a very difficult time when kids come along and mess up the home and car in ways that adults never dream possible.
Egotistical, selfish and men who are completely absorbed by their looks also don’t make good husbands. These are the ones that normally end up cheating because a woman can only stroke their ego constantly for just so long. And they need this! So when the relationship flickers to friendship they will be prowling around for women who will make them feel as hot, sexy and attractive as they think they are.
The ideal husband may be someone far different from the type of man that you normally date. The reason is because husbandry takes a very special man who is willing to give and take equally. Good husbands are usually not the best-looking man you ever dated but they should be the nicest. The ideal husband is that guy in high school who adored you but whom you never gave the time of day to. Even though he pined for you and never forgot to send you a rose on your birthday, you ignored him because he wasn’t the most popular. Go back through your file and find this guy and if he hasn’t already been swooped up by another man, you will see in just a few short years that his patience, sincerity and genuine interest in you will make for a good partner.
The best way to go about finding the ideal husband is to spend some time with your married friends or family members. Pay careful attention to the dynamic in their house and the traits of the husbands and you will see first hand which things are most important to you. Stick to your guns and whatever you do, don’t bank on the fact that your boyfriend will change once you say I do! Yes, he will change, but it may not be in the ways you had hoped for! Most of all, understand that although you may have found the ideal husband, there will plenty of days that he will seem absolutely un-ideal and plenty others that you will be wondering why you didn’t listen to your well meaning friends who tried to warn you. If you can move forward anyway, find it in your heart to love him while you are most irritated – you can be sure you are probably married to the person who is most ideal for you. Keep in mind, that the eternal search for the ideal husband is about as worthy as searching for the last unicorn! You could buy a horse or pony and be just as well off, but if you keep searching, you will end up too old and decrepit to be able to ride anymore! Whatever you do – choose wisely!