The search for the ideal husband is an eternal one! The truth is, it’s rare in life that any one thing or person turns out to be “ideal.” Words like reasonable, amicable, livable, satisfying, and acceptable are probably better descriptors for your husband. If you can find a man you can live with, you are in luck! Of course, there are certain strategies passed down through generations of women that can help you find a husband who is ideal for you. The trick is getting a new generation of women and wives-to-be to pay attention. Blinded by love, marriage is often entered into without heeding the most well-intended warnings!
One of the challenges in finding an ideal husband is that your definition of ‘ideal’ will change drastically throughout marriage. In the beginning, a passionate lover and mostly considerate man can seem like the one of your dreams. However, add a few kids, a house payment, and life’s struggles, and you may discover that no matter how great he is in the bedroom, his life skills may leave you wishing he wouldn’t touch you anymore.
Traits to Look for in an Ideal Husband
First, think of your partner in terms of the long-term. Test the waters and imagine how he would react in certain situations. Most married women will tell you to stay as far away from “mama’s boys” as possible. No matter how cute or endearing their feelings for their mother seem at first, they will eventually become the center of a heated marriage! Mama’s boys are notorious for never growing up and always running back to mama when their wife no longer seems perfect. When grandchildren arrive, this entire dynamic can become a recipe for disaster that could literally ruin your life. There WILL come a time when your husband will have to choose between you and his mama, and real mama’s boys ALWAYS choose mom! The issue is not your man but the fact that he has been trained his entire life to be utterly dependent on his mother. This ensures she is always needed and comes first. The first sign of a new woman entering the picture sends her into a panic, and she may become manipulative and destructive to the relationship! Men like this just don’t make good or remotely close to ‘ideal husbands.’
The other non-ideal husband is the one who can’t hold down a job. If, while you were dating, he has been in and out of jobs as often as you change the sheets, he won’t be a good provider. He will be unreliable, and you will ultimately be responsible for everything. While family responsibility should fall on both of your shoulders, the constantly unemployed burger flipper has no motivation or goals in life, which will only hold you back. Again, add a few kids and a house payment – disaster!
The qualities that make the ideal husband are probably different for every woman, but there are a few key traits to look for in the man you intend to marry! Look for honesty and respect first. He can be many things, but he should always be honest and respectful of you and your life. Look for a man who isn’t afraid to talk about things. If you take advantage of this, you’ll likely have a great line of communication that will serve you well. Look for a man who has already lived on his own. Perhaps his house isn’t a model of neatness and organization, but as long as it’s a step up from a frat house, you should be okay. If it’s obsessively neat, watch out—these men are usually very controlling! They often struggle when kids come along and mess up the home and car in ways that adults never dream possible.
Egotistical, selfish men who are completely absorbed by their looks also don’t make good husbands. These are the ones who often end up cheating because a woman can only stroke their ego for so long. And they need this! So when the relationship starts to feel more like a friendship, they’ll likely start prowling around for women who will make them feel as hot, sexy, and attractive as they think they are.
The ideal husband may be someone far different from the type of man you typically date. The reason is that husbandry takes a very special man who is willing to give and take equally. Good husbands are usually not the best-looking man you’ve ever dated, but they should be the nicest. The ideal husband is often the guy in high school who adored you but whom you never gave the time of day to. Even though he pined for you and never forgot to send you a rose on your birthday, you ignored him because he wasn’t the most popular. Go back through your files and find this guy, and if he hasn’t already been swooped up by someone else, you’ll see in just a few short years that his patience, sincerity, and genuine interest in you will make for a good partner.
The best way to find the ideal husband is to spend some time with your married friends or family members. Pay close attention to the dynamic in their households and the traits of their husbands, and you’ll see firsthand which qualities are most important to you. Stick to your guns, and whatever you do, don’t bank on the fact that your boyfriend will change once you say, “I do!” Yes, he will change, but it may not be in the ways you had hoped for! Most of all, understand that even if you’ve found the ideal husband, there will be plenty of days when he will seem absolutely un-ideal and many others when you’ll wonder why you didn’t listen to your well-meaning friends who tried to warn you. If you can move forward anyway and find it in your heart to love him even when you’re most irritated, you can be sure you’re probably married to the person who is most ideal for you.
Keep in mind that the eternal search for the ideal husband is about as worthy as searching for the last unicorn! You could buy a horse or pony and be just as well off, but if you keep searching, you may end up too old and decrepit to ride anymore! Whatever you do—choose wisely!
