The human race is filled with walls designed to avoid vulnerability. We are so focused on protecting ourselves from rejection, pain, and fearful situations that we often hurt each other first—sometimes unintentionally or through omission. We are quick to talk ourselves out of one of the most powerful, instinctual urges: saying, “I love you.”
Love, whether for a child, a partner, a parent, a sibling, or a friend, is risky business. When we love and allow our emotions to be known or expressed, we risk one of three things: rejection, loss, and the challenge of accepting love back. Many of us carry deep wounds, making the act of accepting love just as frightening as facing rejection.
Wouldn’t it be incredible if, as a human race, we could drop our defenses for just one day and be completely expressive without fear? We could openly tell people the honest meaning they carry in our lives, the impact they have on us, and the direction we want the relationship to grow—even when we’re already in the relationship. Omitting expression is nearly as harmful as taking someone for granted. Nobody dies regretting that they told someone they loved them too often, but many people die with their hearts wounded from love they never truly expressed.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own wounds, ambivalence, and fears of feeling alone. After all, a love that remains unexpressed is a love that no one knows about. It is only when someone finds the courage to share their feelings that they are blessed with the knowledge that they, too, are worthy of the love they are giving.
Children, spouses, and the people we truly love need daily reminders that they are lovable. After all, the world can leave deep dents on our outer layers, and it’s easy to get caught in those layers. It’s cold out there, painful out there, and people can be rude. Even a stranger’s words can sting, triggering our vulnerable fears and hang-ups. What keeps us going in times of self-doubt, fear, and pain is not just the hope of love, but the knowledge of love.
There is truly no underestimating the importance of saying, “I love you.” Those three little words are, in the author’s opinion, half of the most important sentence in the world: “I love you, accept you, and how can I help you?” Love implies both acceptance and the willingness to put someone’s needs ahead of our own. It’s more than a fleeting moment—it’s a deep understanding of who someone is and the acknowledgment that they are good enough without the perfection we so often seek. Without love and acceptance, what really do we have from each other?
Money, power, prestige, and fame can never buy the same feeling your heart experiences when the love of your life confesses their feelings. That flutter in your tummy is irreplaceable—and who would want to replace it? It reminds you that you’re alive.
While there’s no denying that loving someone is a risk—because we may lose them—there’s no valid argument for using that as an excuse to hide. Loving openly and honestly, and taking the risk that someone precious may not always be in our lives, is part of the joy of daring to live fully. A heart that hasn’t been broken can’t grow. A heart that hasn’t loved grows cold. And a heart that lives in fear only shrinks with time.
Don’t Be Scared to Say “I Love You”
Loving someone—and telling them often—is a gift, not just for the recipient, but for yourself as well. When you truly love someone and find the courage to express it, you give yourself a gift far greater than anyone else. You claim your right to live fully and completely, embracing life’s joys just as much as its pains. Why live a one-sided life? No matter how hard we try to close off our hearts, we’re destined to feel pain. As humans, we are not designed to live isolated from love. Living without love is just as painful, if not more so, than living with love and losing it.
Never underestimate the importance of saying, “I love you.” With a deep breath and a leap of faith, close your eyes, whisper the words, and when you open them again, you’ll find your life has changed for the better.
