Siblings are both a blessing and a curse. As the youngest of three children, I cannot help but wonder what life would have been like without siblings. Part of me thinks that life would have been pretty fantastic. I wouldn’t have been beat up nearly as much, and I would have had things go my way more times than not. I also wouldn’t have had to contend for time doing the many activities we used to do to occupy our time. However, as much as I used to consider this as a child, the reality is that I wouldn’t be who I am today without siblings.
I have two older brothers. One is five years my senior, and the other is three years older. Being the only girl with two older brothers had its positives and negatives. Although I would often play off the negatives as a child (for pity and attention, of course), there were many positives. My brothers and I were each other’s allies with our parents, neighborhood children, and schoolmates. We looked out for each other, played with each other, and, of course, fought with each other (a lot!).
The Power of Shared Memories
Childhood memories would not be complete without my siblings. In fact, I would probably only vaguely remember parts of my childhood if it weren’t for my brothers. Part of the magic of having siblings is the shared ability to remember certain things about childhood. It’s also amazing to be able to do things together as children and carry those memories with you for the rest of your life.
To this day, my eldest brother tells a story (whenever he possibly can) about a time when the three of us used to watch old kung fu movies. While watching one specific movie that I cannot remember the name of, a ninja star appeared on the screen, and the three of us watched in fascination. After seeing the star fly across the screen a few times, my oldest brother decided he would try his hand at crafting one. Not too long after he began twisting a piece of metal, he had finished. He had created his very own ninja star. We looked upon it in awe.
After moving me out of the room (but positioning me where I could still see to avoid the “little sister” from getting hit), and placing my other brother behind him and slightly to the right, my oldest brother took aim at a closet door. Flicking his wrist, he let the star fly. But, instead of making forward motion like we all expected, the flick of his wrist caused the star to fly backward and to the right. It hit my other brother square in the forehead. He screamed, and my father heard.
My father poked his head into the room where we were all sitting and yelled, “What’s going on in there?” Without flinching, the three of us replied, in unison, “Nothing.”
However, something had happened. My brother had just been impaled with a ninja star. We quickly pulled it out and placed a pillow over his head to stop the bleeding. After the situation had calmed down, we disposed of the ninja star and hid the pillow from our parents for many years. In fact, it was only a few years ago that we revealed the story to our parents, who were shocked to learn about the great cover-up we had staged.
Siblings are amazing. Finding trouble is not a difficult task when you are with them, but neither is making (and keeping) memories. Siblings can, however, also cause heartache. It’s difficult to watch a sibling that you love dearly go through a difficult time in his or her own life. But it is also an incredible thing to be able to be there for a sibling in their time of need. It’s all the more incredible to be able to celebrate the joys in the lives of your siblings: graduations, weddings, and the birth of children. These joyous occasions bring families closer together.
Highs and lows are inevitable. However, I cannot imagine the pain of losing a sibling, which is one major reason it’s vital to enjoy the time you have together while you can. Brothers and sisters are a part of us. If you allow them to remain a part of your life, they can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and a conscience that knows you almost as well as you know yourself.
The Sibling Project, a study initiated by the Association for Children with a Disability, highlighted the importance of sibling interactions throughout the developing years. Two points made in the study may seem somewhat obvious, but they carry significant weight: first, “the sibling relationship will usually be longer than any other relationship within the family,” and second, “a child’s self-identity is shaped by their daily interaction with their siblings.”
It is true that fights may be unavoidable and hurtful words can be exchanged. However, siblings are a joy and a blessing. They will be there throughout your life in one way or another, so making the best of the relationship is key. Just like those times as children when siblings worked as your allies, throughout adulthood, siblings can still have the same impact. They are usually the most likely people to rejoice when you rejoice and feel your pain when you are at your lowest.
The connection between siblings is so important. You are bonded for life because you share the same parents, but creating a fulfilling relationship with your siblings is more of a blessing than many of the friendships you will ever know.
One Response
Seems like I should have that second kid after all.