The Question You Need at a Crossroads is the One You Were Never Taught to Ask
Some years ago, I made the completely illogical decision to walk away from the life that I had known for twenty-plus years so that I could be near a spiritual teacher half-way around the world from my home, my husband, and my familiar self. It was the most courageous act I had ever committed up until that time, but the moments leading up to that decision were fraught.
To follow my heart in that instance meant going against everything I had learned to identify with in my role as a reliable, perfectionistic, secret-keeping, approval-seeking people pleaser with an aversion to rocking the boat. I was tormented by thoughts of what people would think, how my professional reputation would be affected, not to mention my marriage and personal life.
It was tantamount to admitting I was way off course and throwing out everything I had built up until that moment. It seemed crazy, but my soul was screaming, and I finally listened.
I stepped into the unknown without knowing how any of it would unfold. All I knew was what I wanted, which was More Life. That one decision sensitized me to the power of grace.
Looking back, I had engaged in what I would now call a spiritual decision-making process, and from my perspective as a coach, I can now articulate the steps I took intuitively, if unskillfully. And spiritual decision-making has become an actual process I teach my clients for how to live their most fulfilling lives.
So, what’s the difference between a spiritual decision-making process and any other kind of decision-making process?
It can be distilled to one simple question: what would I love?
It seems so simple, but the truth is that many people have a hard time answering that question.
There can be a lot of static between us and knowing what we would love. I believe we often erect barriers to that knowing because if we allowed ourselves to truly know what we would love, that knowledge could take us outside our comfort zone, or threaten the status quo.
But when our soul is crying out for more life and we truly desire to grow, we find ourselves at a crossroads. We must choose between living our lives by design, or by default.
The act of deciding to step into a greater dimension of ourselves brings up old paradigms of limitation and fear. This is exactly when we need to employ the art of spiritual decision-making.
Most of us were taught to make decisions by looking at what our current circumstances will allow. Unfortunately, this is the surest way to keep us stuck, unconsciously repeating the patterns of the past, because our current circumstances were created by those very patterns. It’s impossible to create anything new in condition-based thinking, because by nature our true potential resides in the Unknown.
That’s why ‘what would I love?’ is the most potent question. Try it now.
Ask yourself ‘what would I love?’ in the area of your most pressing discontent. Tune in with your body and your energy and see how it feels to ask the question. Does it give you butterflies? Do you feel excited? This simple question puts you in a frequency of possibility right away.
‘What would I love?’ opens you to the energy of your heart, and opening to heart energy puts you in touch with higher purpose – your soul. When you connect with your soul, you align with Spiritual Law. And when you take a step, trusting in the Law, you will always be supported. Why? Because it is the nature of Spirit to expand, and it seeks to expand through you.
Spiritual decision-making is illogical. It’s radical because it’s the opposite of how we were taught to think, looking for guarantees and waiting for the right conditions before we feel safe enough to take a chance on a life we would love. It is of the heart, not the mind. It asks only for the ‘what’ and the ‘why’, not for the ‘how’.
Let your first and only question be ‘what would I love’, and you will walk with grace, possibility, magic, and a sense of play. Trust that the Power breathing you wants you to step towards the dreams of your heart so that it can experience a greater life by means of you. As my spiritual teacher once said to me, “Trust in the Unknown. The Unknown is filled with Light.”
Claire Lautier is an inspirational speaker, teacher, spiritual coach and Certified Life Mastery Consultant who specializes in helping clients reclaim their creative power and consciously design deeply fulfilling lives in alignment with their highest purpose. www.clairelautier.com.