There is an undertone in this world that we—as humans, visual creatures at that—are supposed to overlook the outward appearance of others and make room in our hearts to see a person’s inner beauty. This “new age” or “love everyone” message is clear. When our children come home talking about the smelly kid in class or the overweight teacher who wears clothing several sizes too small, our immediate reaction is to chastise them and caution them to “be nice.”
The Reality of First Impressions
Still, the reality is that we do judge people based on their appearance. No matter how accepting, non-judgmental, or unbiased you claim to be, your eyes are the first things that take mental notes of your surroundings. When you see a man or woman—especially one who could be otherwise attractive—trudging around with unkempt greasy hair, 65 pounds overweight, munching a Snickers bar, and wearing clothes that have stains or mismatched shoes, your mind is automatically making an assumption. You might even wonder if they took five minutes to notice the way they looked before they left the house. It’s one thing to walk to your mailbox in your bathrobe with your boobs hanging out; it’s another to go out to dinner or walk into your child’s school looking that way.
Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past two years, you’ve likely seen the People of Wal-Mart videos. Ironically, Wal-Mart—a place that offers cheap mirrors—seems to attract hoards of people who appear to have never looked in one. From crazy get-ups that don’t match and scream for all the wrong kinds of attention to people wearing decent clothing that just isn’t appropriate for their body type, Wal-Mart epitomizes the need for a quick mirror check before you leave your house.
Even though it’s funny to silently make fun of the outfits people choose to wear, the reality is that what we wear on the outside speaks volumes about who we are on the inside.
The stay-at-home mom who leaves the house wearing day-old clothes, with slept-in makeup, no bra, and pajama shorts, comes across as someone who is tired and has lost interest in herself. The young man walking around with his boxers hanging out, barely able to take a step without pulling up his pants, gives off the impression of being a thug. The guy who shows up for an interview in a wrinkled suit, tennis shoes, and a Coors Light logo peeking through his dress shirt gives off an air that he doesn’t take things seriously. Say it’s wrong to judge a book by its cover if you will, but even so, most people judge (or form an opinion, if you prefer) based on someone’s public appearance. The stinky kid in class, regardless of why he’s smelly, is someone your children will shy away from—honest as they are—because of his appearance, even if his issues are more about his home life than his personal habits.
Mirrors exist for a reason. It’s difficult to navigate through life without encountering at least one mirror during your day. While being excessively aware of your looks or basing your entire world on appearances isn’t ideal, there has to be a balance, especially when it comes to how you present yourself.
What Not to Wear, the hit TLC show featuring Stacy and Clinton, is proof that anyone, of any shape or size, can accentuate their body. Plus, research shows that when we look good and take time to care for ourselves—even aesthetically—we feel better about ourselves. This self-confidence boost can do wonders for how others perceive us as well. Essentially, it’s a win-win.
Everyone has those days when they lack the energy or mood to put 100% into their appearance. No big deal. You drive your kids to school in your pajamas, knowing you won’t exit the car, or you pick up a prescription while looking like death warmed over because you’re sick. But being negligent, lazy, or even a little rebellious about your appearance to provoke a reaction is a teenage trait that adults need to outgrow. This isn’t to say that people judging you are right in doing so, or that they should base their opinions of who you are or your worth solely on your looks. Rather, the responsibility lies in both corners of the metaphorical boxing ring.
Take 10 seconds to look yourself over before you leave the house. If you’re going somewhere where you want to make a good impression or be taken seriously, ask yourself: Is the message I’m sending with my outfit what I intend? At the very least, make sure you’re clean before leaving the house.
This is a tough world we live in. No matter how much we pretend that appearances don’t matter, the truth is they do—especially in certain situations. You owe it to yourself to present yourself in a manner that speaks volumes about who you really are.
