There is NO Excuse for Forgetting Important Dates in Your Life

Are you the one that is always forgetting special events in your life such as anniversaries and birthdays of loved ones? You might remember a few weeks ahead of time that a special day is coming up, but then easily dismiss it into the black hole of your mind where it sits for an eternity. Then, on that special day, you feel like the horses arse because you are the only one who doesn’t have a present for your wife, or mom – or who forgot an anniversary. Now, you are in BIG TROUBLE.

Bottom line is that thepeople in your life that you care about want to be remembered. If your Dear Aunt Sally from across the world can remember the day you were born, and sends a card with $10 in it every stinking year – the least you can do is repay the favor. Most people don’t expect fancy gifts or extravagance on special days, but want to be treated with an air of specialty that makes them feel loved and secure. The saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words,” and your inability to remember a birthday speaks volumes for how you feel about the other people who share your world. And, it’s sort of egocentric and selfish to say the least. You expect this behavior from a 4 year old who hardly knows what month it is, but you don’t expect it from adults.

In fairness, if you have forgotten that special someone’s birthday, and are in the midst of a life crisis or something major, you can get off the hook. But otherwise, there is no excuse for forgetting important dates in your life. Here’s why!

First of all – how many cell phones do you have. Do you have email, or a computer? Do you utilize an Ipod, or Ipad, or Kindle or any other technologically advanced piece of equipment? Each and every one of these things comes pre-equipped with a calendar. If it doesn’t, you can easily download one in like 15 seconds. And, with these calendars, you can easily pencil in all the important dates of the year from birthdays and anniversaries to when its time to get your teeth cleaned. Furthermore, you set reminders for these events, so that you receive some sort of ‘string on finger’ reminder that the day is forthcoming. If you don’t have a computerized version of a calendar, then take a trip to Wal-Mart and spend $2 and buy a pocket calendar. In around 10 minutes, you can easily have all the data entered for the entire year. This last approach may be archaic, but it works.

It’s not rocket science. If you cannot rely on yourself to remember these dates – then ask your mom, brother, sister or cousin if they would email you reminders for these events. Every family has a secretarial type of person who never forgets a thing – pay him or her if you have to.

This way, not only can you remember the dates but you can schedule something special for those dates as well. It’s absolutely ridiculous to try and make anniversary reservations at a nice restaurant on the day of your anniversary. It’s risky to spend your lunch hour out shopping on the day of an event. And it’s just plain rude. If you have the time to schedule your hair appointments or golf game a week in advance, then these special days should not be a problem. Funny, but most of the ultimate forgetters are able to remember all the other important details of their life!

It’s called priorities and the people in your life should make the list.

Sadly, if you are married to the ultimate forgetter, you have probably become accustomed to their selfish behavior and lack of consideration for celebrating YOU. And, that is part of the problem. If you write your husband or wife, significant other, parent or child off as flighty and scatter brained – you are enabling this behavior. Instead, you should be forthright about it. Bottom line, it hurts – even if your mom is a basket case. It hurts when she forgets your birthday. Tell them how you feel, and don’t accept their second handed approaches to make up for something. Your birthday was yesterday not TODAY. The least you could have had was a hand written note that said, “Happy Birthday.” Or a phone call.

And, another truth is this. Everyone wants to be celebrated. How difficult is it really to take 15 minutes to exert some effort into celebrating someone else in your life? The lack of desire (or remembrance) to do is extremely hurtful and is just one of the signs that there is a lack of respect in the relationship. And a lack of respect for others from the moron who forgets who everything.

Heck, if know that you forget things than call 1-800-FLOWERS and pre-order some flowers. Most gift giving companies also have reminder services that will send you a text message before the big day. Utilize it. This way, all you have to do is respond YES and you will be a hero for remembering someone else. And more importantly, for making someone else in your life – feel special. Everybody wants to feel special.

So, what’s your excuse going to be this year? How many more times do you think you can use the, “I forgot,” or “I’m just so busy,” card to explain why you didn’t spend 15 minutes for the sake of someone else? Eventually, as stated before – your actions will speak louder than your words. And your actions are saying that you really don’t prioritize other people, or think much of their feelings. Sad.

If this is a problem for you, check out sites like Right now. Before you forget. If you know a forgetter – send them this article so they can sign up for the service (for free). Bottom line is there really is no excuse. Not anymore.

19 thoughts on “There is NO Excuse for Forgetting Important Dates in Your Life”

  1. I had a friend tell me it was his birthday and i made something special for him. I toldl him mine was like two weeks later. He completely forgot, no phone ccall, nothing. This is the third year in a row i have had a depressing birthday cuz i moved away from home and i just get texts and FB wishes and a phone call.

    This guy is a good person and its not his job to make sure I have something to do on my birthday, but the sting of him forgetting really hurt. i wrestled with confronting cuz i don’t want to sound like some pouty narcissist, but it hurt, and i felt dissed. I didn’t need “gifts and stuff”, just to feel special and remembered, but I got nothing.

    I don’t know why but sinced I moved away from my hometown, I am extra sensitive on my birthday.

  2. I was supposed to look after my neighbors dog, but I totally forgot, and now she doesn’t really trust me. God, I am just too stupid. I couldn’t even remember to put a stupid reminder in my phone. AFTER SHE REMINDED ME LIKE THREE TIMES!!!

  3. Birthdays are important to remember my wife forgot mine for the second time in a row and i saw it comming that is the worst part, but my work colleagues made it special though. There are always other people in your life that you can depend on.

  4. My boyfriend I have been living with forgot our 5year anniversary,but he was all ready to go visit his best buddy and go buy something for his wife’s birthday,but no special plans for me😰should I be angry and upset?

  5. This is offending. I have a crappy memory for numbers, dates, etc. Can’t remember my mother’s date to save my life, or any of my family’s birthdays. I don’t remember how old my parents or and am actually starting to forget even my own age. See, I’m vey good with words and languages, but numbers just alude me.
    So basically I’m a horrible person who doesn’t care about my mother just because I can’t remember her birth date no matter how many times I celebrate it?

  6. … Who HURT you? What sort of charmed existence do you have where someone forgetting your birthday is the cause of this much derision?

    The writer of this article really needs to learn what “egocentric” means, and maybe lower the selfish entitlement tab a few notches. Forgetting things happens. Sometimes forgetting things happens A LOT for some people, regardless of what technology they have at their disposal. REAL. LIFE. HAPPENS. And it largely doesn’t revolve around you or your darn birthday, especially if you’re an adult.

    Some people are just naturally more forgetful, or have more important things going on in their own lives to remember something as, honestly, inane as a birthday from time to time. That doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, and that sort of thinking is harmful for your relationships. Yes, people like to feel remembered and cared about, but does it only count on that ONE day of the year? Really? If your self-worth, or your standards for other people are so low that you’re going to viciously judge someone for forgetting a birthday then maybe people are avoiding you on purpose. If you birthday is that important to you, and you’re worried people might forget, maybe drop them a hint a week in advance, and leave a reminder of your own to get over yourself if someone forgets.

    1. You, Erin, are the one who needs to get over herself with the lame excuses to justify selfish conduct on the part of others. I find your post highly offensive and agree with the writer. There is NO excuse! I will be forever grateful to my parents who insisted from a very young age that I remember ALL birthdays of family members and family friends. They taught me to mentally go through the 12-months of the year and remember the respective birthdays within a given month. And yes, they themselves remembered everyone’s birthday without fail. Further, they remembered the date(s) of death and sent a remembrance to the living on the date(s) of departure. My parents were strict taskmasters and demanded concern for others before self. It is a cherished legacy; one often dismissed in current times. The irony is that YOU are an individual who is self-centered and has the unmitigated audacity to defend herself. The more I think about your response, the more irate I become. Despicable. Do you forget important dates in your worklife, and then attempt a defense to your colleagues and/or superiors? If you are working, it’s a good thing that you do not work for me. I would not tolerate that conduct or your attitude. Yes, I come from an upper echelon military background. I am proud, responsible, and self-deprecating when I do err; but that is not attributable to sanctioned forgetfulness. Go about your way with your lame justification and may God bless you. Nobody else will. I mean every word I have written. It is my 71st birthday and I am blessed to surround myself with others who share my views. Thank you for your time. And no, I am neither senile nor otherwise impaired.

      1. So because of how you were raised you expect everyone else to live up to your standard? I can’t remember birthdays AT ALL, and I do have a learning disability but I also have an degree in computer engineering which requires a lot of math. My parents didn’t sit down and spend hours with me as a child teaching me how to remember birthdays and honestly that just sounds odd. Don’t expect everyone else in the world to be exactly like you and definitely don’t shame them for it. You are just as hateful and selfish as the writer.

  7. LOL, people who are arguing and mad are mad that the author has a point. Stop being so sensitive because if you are you’re MISSING THE POINT. The point isn’t that you’re horrible because you aren’t good with dates. The point is that with modern technology you DON’T HAVE TO BE. THE TECH CAN REMEMBER IT FOR YOU, so all you need to do is get the information ONCE and let the tech do the remembering for you. It’s so much easier now than for people who lived before this was possible. So if you’re too lazy or careless to even set a freaking reminder in your phone or on your Google calendar or check social media like Facebook, then yeah, you kind of suck.

    1. Good point Nat. But here’s the deal … I have a hard time ‘seeing the point’ of an article that is riddled with typos, misspelled words and grammatical errors. If the writer is too lazy to take 5 seconds to proofread his work, or to use the tools available that are programmed in every device in existence today, then yeah, that writer and his article, line-up suck. It’s a matter of respect. For the reader and for himself. It takes 5 seconds!!! It’s their job!! This article is nonsense. Respect yourself, and don’t accept rhetoric that isn’t even respected by the person who wrote it.

  8. This may be the absolute most overly dramatic thing that I have ever read. My fiancé and I are both fire fighter/EMTs, not only is our jobs dangerous but we see the worst of the worst. There are a lot worse things in life that can happen in relationships (friendships, family) than forgetting a damn date! Like them leaving home and never coming home bc they’re dead. Realize what’s really important! Time with your loved ones, not a date on a calendar

  9. I remember other people’s birthdays (and REAL remember because I STILL do not have a smart phone). However I don’t remember my own. I get annoyed when other people bother me on whatever day mine is supposed to be too, because it’s Tuesday to me, and I have crap to get done, or I’m at work, or whatever, it’s not important to me and no one should be bothering me about it!
    Until, oops, I somehow got a year older. Also, still leave me to get things done.
    Should I… should I be upset at myself? Should I no longer trust myself?

  10. Hi Lilly. First of all, let me say I totally get where you’re coming from. And NO you’re not a horrible person just because you forget dates. This guy is a dufus. He has no credibility whatsoever. This article is pure gibberish. There are so many holes in this article and in his reasoning. Not to mention all of the typos and grammatical errors. (There’s NO excuse for that! He’s a writer!! It’s his job!!) Do I have to write an entire article about the myriad of tools available to avoid these things as a reminder for him? Forget all the tools … How about old fashioned proof reading?? There’s a “tool” that obviously is no longer used by writers. Instead they, like this guy, publish their articles and expect us to view them as something other than the nonsense that they are. They clearly don’t value their own work enough to take three minutes to proofread it before posting it. If they don’t care about what they put out, why should we? They obviously don’t value the reader either. They don’t care that we end up reading – then rereading – sentences, trying to make sense of what we just read. Because there are words that are missing, spelled incorrectly, or used incorrectly. In this article, see the paragraph that starts out “And, another truth is this. The entire article is elementary at best. The writer spent zero time writing it and even less time researching it. He just sat down and spewed it out in five seconds. He obviously is too busy to proofread it. It’s all nonsense. DO NOT judge yourself – or anyone else – based on this senseless rhetoric.
    (No offense, but apparently you’re not that good with words either. First of all, the correct word eluded you. (Not aluded) Secondly, the incorrect word you used was spelled incorrectly. (It’s allude, not alude.) I’m not judging, just saying …)

  11. This is pretty myopic in regards to the variety of the human experience. Birthdays are not important to all people, or all cultural backgrounds, and there’s a variety of other ways people can show they care about each other. I’d rather not have friends and family members feign caring about me if they really don’t, and likewise I don’t want to be dishonest and do the same for others. This becomes especially difficult if you were raised in a Catholic family where no one believed in birth control, so you have 8 aunts and uncles, plus 40 cousins to keep track of. I’m numerically challenged in every way when it comes to dates, and can’t even remember the exact numbers of my parents’ and sister’s birthdays, nor my own half the time, despite my best efforts. Turns out, chronic mental illness and PTSD take a huge toll on your memory and executive function, and can leave you nothing but an empty cup from which you have nothing to pour for others, and nothing to pour for yourself. I pray that the life I’ve lived will never be inflicted upon the author, and pray that the author finds peace and perspective.

  12. I recently had a birthday and both of my kids (16 and 19) either forgot or chose not to acknowledge it. It felt pretty terrible. I’m not going to say anything about it to them unless they ask. But it was a real punch in the guts.

    I personally feel like there’s a lack of empathy for others and it’s becoming worse as society becomes more fractured and divisive. It’s almost as if the reasons to celebrate each other are becoming far and few between. Myself, I choose to celebrate the people in my life. Always do. So it’s probably why not being acknowledged or celebrated by my own kids felt so harsh.

    I just wish I knew why. If it’s because of something I did or didn’t do, I’d like to correct it. Or at the very least understand.

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