Comments on: There’s No Excuse for a Messy House

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 00:48:17 +0000

So you would class yourself as the ‘ideal’ type A personality type I’m assuming, given that you make it sound like the ideal. The irony in that is type A personality types also tend to be more hostile and aggressive, assume or see the worst in others, lack empathy and compassion, and envy others, all of which are reflected in your attitude. These behaviours make them more likely to bully than the laid back type B personality. Personality types are not just something we form, but something we develop from our upbringing and genes. If someone doesn’t have type A (and therefore perfect like you make out), why do you think it’s acceptable to judge others on their personality type. I’ve met people that don’t have type A personality types and they live in clean houses. There are also people with various illnesses, ranging from mental health to physical health. For those who suffer with mental health problems and struggle to keep their house perfect, dealing with a judgemental oaf like you only worsens the problem. They’re already feeling guilt, shame, embarrassed and worthless. To then have someone like you shame them for laziness could severely impact them. What they need is for someone to not judge them and say that it’s okay to need help. People like you stop people with mental health conditions coming forward because they see articles like this and think this is what people will think of me. Shame on you. People with mental health conditions are at higher risk of suicide, combine that with dealing with attitudes like yours leaves them feeling more helpless. You are kicking someone while they are down (lack of compassion as per above). Telling people (including unwell people for all you know) that they are lazy will not solve the issue of messiness. That is a malicious act which attacks somebody else’s dignity, costing yours in the process. This article was written purely to make you feel superior. This article could have been written in a different way – you could have stated how you manage your time to do housework etc and any tips/ideas to offer encouragement. You could have helped pick people up in your article- you would want the same for yourself if you were ever in that situation. You could have told people that it’s okay to not be okay and you’re only human if life gets in the way, and you could have encouraged those with illnesses to seek help if they are struggling. That is what people need to hear. Instead of shaming, why don’t you learn from others and see things through their eyes. Perhaps you will be kinder for it. Encourage, don’t judge, make a positive difference to people’s lives, lift people up, raise people’s spirits, educate people, be a good example, be kind, and inspire others.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 06 Sep 2020 17:27:07 +0000

While being clean is a lifestyle for some, being untidy for another, why are people quick to judge? It is like jusging what someone drives, wears, eats, their religion, etc. Everyone ahould stick their heads out of evryone elaes business and how they live. How someone lives should be their choice not someone elses. I suppose some clutter is one thing but if it was dirty (bugs, mold, etc) then thats another situation but it could also endanger someones health.

By: Melissa Engel

Melissa Engel — Sat, 04 Apr 2020 13:00:46 +0000

In reply to Katie Pie. amen

By: Caroline

Caroline — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 16:40:07 +0000

You have no right to talk like that to people like that! You obviously have no idea what it’s like to try to keep your house clean with severe mental illness and chronic pain. Also, that type A personality that you’re worried about? Who cares?! How your home is shouldn’t be about anyone who doesn’t live there. And if someone really cares about the PERSON, they are going to not care what their house looks like when they are struggling. Hell they might even offer to help you clean it. My friend helps that way a lot when I’m having a really hard time mentally, and I do for her the same thing when I’m doing better mentally and she’s not. Let’s love and accept each other. And understand that not everyone has the same situations.

By: Nance

Nance — Wed, 08 Jan 2020 12:43:12 +0000

What did I just read???? Holy cow! This is the quite possibly THE worst “blog” I’ve ever read. The writer comes off as an angry, judgmental and unhappy person. The entire article’s tone is cold, unyielding and self-righteous. It must really feel good to put others down, doesn’t it? Who do you think you are? This is so offensive. You need therapy so you can gain some self awareness. Wow.

By: Sue

Sue — Thu, 19 Dec 2019 18:54:03 +0000

In reply to Katie Pie. I totally agree with you!

By: Suzy Q

Suzy Q — Thu, 28 Nov 2019 11:05:31 +0000

This is easily the dumbest thing I’ve ever stumbled across. The statement, “see the mess, step over the crap all over the place…” in particular is distressing to say the least. While I can only speak from my own personal experience and knowledge, it’s is a very drastic assumption to suggest they see it at all. I personally grew up in a house that was always in one form of disarray or another, and have the shameful privilege of being able to say for ten years had a living room that looked like a construction zone; plastered walls, subfloor completely exposed, various pieces of equipment and supplies stacked beside and on top of each other surrounded by dusty bins of heirlooms and precious photos with nowhere to be stored after we grew and a sibling needed the storage closet renovated into a Harry Potter-esque bedroom. Me and my siblings never once noticed it as any different, even after seeing friends homes and happily invited them over only to shrug off the politely-worded comments on the mess.

As an adult, I can see how bizarre and visually uncomfortable it would be to anyone who happened upon it, and it’s impressive it never was to us. However because of this, because I had parents who never really got around to picking any of this crap up and I never witnessed an example of what “tidying” should be- vacuuming the crevices of stairs for pet hair for example- I never knew to do any of it once I lived on my own. I don’t think I even knew what a baseboard was, much less ever noticed it was something that could accumulate filth and needed to be physically wiped, until my partner moved in with me. Even still to this day years later I can be *aware* that my living space is becoming untidy, or that things are piling up, but unless I am paying specific attention to it I genuinely will not notice. It’s as though it just shuts off, and the inconvenience of walking over or around things is nonexistent because that’s simply what I’m used to anyways and it doesn’t trigger and sort of “oh I should put that away, I should throw this in the bin, I should take the bag out” and I will forget about it.

And despite this I have no problem maintaining an impeccable and almost incessant level of cleanliness in my workplace, because that are is not *my* home and stands out more vividly, if that makes any sense.

I won’t even begin to touch on the affect of disorders such as depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, attention disorders, stress, and whatever else have you play into one’s ability to maintain pristine living conditions.

Anyways, f#%* you and everyone who thinks like you. There’s more depth to cleanliness than “you’re a lazy slob” and I feel sorry for the unfortunate people with these struggles, who may or may not be aware of it, that have the absolute displeasure of talking to, or reading any of your work. Instead of being a judgmental wretch, it would be lovely to see you actually suggest techniques that could help, since I suppose that would be the target audience on the subject, instead of hopping on the opportunity to talk down to anyone who DARE be seeking advice and create a nice little shame corner for them to enjoy. I suppose that would require some basic decency and empathy, though, wouldn’t it?

By: Kate

Kate — Sun, 13 Oct 2019 04:42:36 +0000

I agree completely, as outlined above. I didn’t mean to reply to your comment, it was meant to be a new comment. I found this post extraordinarily close minded and judgemental of others who may not be as fortunate as the poster. I’m a single parent, I work, and study, and do everything, I have no family help, I am exhausted most days, especially at the end of a semester of full time uni, which is right now, where pretty much everything has come before the cleaning. Obviously I’m not as worried about what other people think about me as what the poster does. She obviously feels the need to keep up with the Jones’s and only feels okay about life if hers is ‘perfect’. *eye roll*

By: Katie Pie

Katie Pie — Sun, 13 Oct 2019 04:33:46 +0000

In reply to Willa.

Well I don’t suppose your house does get messy, considering all you have to do all day is clean it, seeing as you don’t work! Well guess what luv – there are people in the world that aren’t living your fairytale lifestyle that do have to work, and clean, and parent, and study and everything else. Believe it or not, not everyone has a husband who goes out & makes the money, or family nearby that can help out. I don’t expect you have a mental illness, or are studying a degree either. People like you make me sick – you sit back in your perfectly clean home with your perfect kids and your perfect husband and sling mud at the people that you have labelled as lazy or uncaring’, when all that is is your own judgement of others who don’t have a perfect life like you do. There are literally millions of people in the world that don’t have it as good as you do. You haven’t got a clue what real life is like!!!

By: Betty

Betty — Thu, 10 Oct 2019 06:47:18 +0000

Wow. Your judgmental view and lack of empathy for those who are seriously suffering, whether from mental illness or other ills life throws our way, that leads to messy houses is astounding. To equate that as a moral failing is extremely telling of your own lack of character.