Marriage Advice

Things Husbands do to Drive Their Wives Insane

From the title, you are probably thinking that this article will be laden with male bashing jargon straight from the script of Married with Children. In fact, considering how unwell the male and female brains are as cohabitants seems to bring questions about the whole institute of marriage. wouldn’t it almost be better if we got married, and lived in homes next door to one another only to reunite for moments that bring us happiness and bliss? Ha! That is one of the things that make marriage so fun. Learning to live with a person and all the wacky idiosyncrasies that make them who they are is part of the journey. Still, when it is obvious that certain traits or actions of one drive another so crazy wouldn’t it just be respectful to avoid them? So, here is a collective list of some of the top ten things men do to drive their wives insane

  1. Whether you share a sink, share a bathroom, or are lucky enough to have your own all of those itty-bitty little razor shavings are annoying to say the least. Even if men do take enough care to rinse them down the sink just a little, most will likely leave a tainted ring around the basin laden with hair. The tap tap of the razor seems to send these tiny hairs flying which means that you will be cleaning up these little hairs for the rest of your life. Off the counter, off the floor, off the toilet, off the hairbrush. Mix it with a little of the wives hairspray, and these hairs become a substance that could rival mortar. Come on guys, rinse down the hair already. it’s gross, and does nothing but clog the pipes. Better yet, shave in the shower. Plus, many women enjoy a little peach fuzz on the face, so why not just forego the blade for a day or two?
  2. Gather a bunch of guys to watch a football game at your house or leave your’ husband‘ in the living room for 15 minutes unattended and you will likely see a trail of trash left behind. One beer can turn into three in just a few minutes and an empty bag of chips will sit happily on the coffee table until you throw it away. Trust me, you aren’t the first wife to let it sit just to see how long it will take before your lovely husband realizes that the living room has a stench to it. Let’s also point out that the trashcan, is conveniently located right next to the fridge, and he has to pass it to collect another cold beer. So why not bring the trash with you instead of letting it build up? Just a very indicative clue about the efficiency of the male mind. Truth is, you are married (or at least in a relationship) now, not a frat boy who is trying to build a monument out of junk food boxes and cans. Throw your trash away, without being asked, without being reminded and you may find your wife is more interested in sex.
  3. As a wife, if you have ever asked your husband to do something for you you learn that it will pretty much not get done. It doesn’t matter if you ask in the midst of sex when life is good, or when your hubby is in the best of moods. The point that you asked him to take the trash out, caulk the sink, repair the bathroom door or mow the grass is a sure thing that it wont get done. Apparently, asking someone to do something translates to telling them what to do and men, just don’t like this. Your best bet if you want something done is to ask them not to do it, or ask them to do something else that you really don’t want done.
  4. Is it really that hard to find a laundry basket? Apparently! Men will leave their clothes on the bathroom floor, next to the washing machine or anywhere else except for in the laundry basket. Even if you have multiple baskets you will still find that their dirty, stinky clothes are left lying around elsewhere. How many men would pick up their wives dirty underwear with their bare hands? So, why do women do it for men? This is a question destined to remain unanswered.
  5. Snore. Yeah right, you can’t help it. But you do it anyways. Go to a doctor, where a nasal strip, sleep on your side or better yet have some respect for a sleeping woman (who will be in a much better mood the next day) and sleep elsewhere.
  6. Another question that is hard to answer is this. How can a man sit around watching Sports Center reruns for hours while their wife is cleaning,’ doing laundry, tending to the kids etc. Really? You would think that the vacuuming around them and clanging of dishes would be enough of an alarm to the fact that chores need to be done. If you ask them for help, revert to number 3.
  7. Men can be great cooks; there is no doubt about that. Yet, a woman can throw together a meal for 20 or the family dinner and still have a semi decent clean kitchen when she is done. She does the dishes as she goes, wipes up messes when they arrive and stays on top of the mess. Yet, when men cook the kitchen looks like a hurricane has hit it. Do they just not notice the ketchup on the floor, the fact that the sink can’t hold another dish or do they just feel that cooking the meal expels enough domestic energy? Who knows?
  8. Look at other women and then pretend they didn’t. You can spot any married couple by the fact that the man cannot allow an attractive (okay big boobed) women to walk by without them craning their neck to look. While most try to be discreet few actually are. If women were prone to checking out what lies behind the zipper of every man that passed them, few would remain married.
  9. This one is cliche, but true. If you are lost, better hope you aren’t with a man because he would prefer to drive around in circles rather than ask someone. And should his female counterpart choose to drive’…well, he wont like the way she does that either. Perhaps this is something left over from the old days when women weren’t allowed to get their drivers license.
  10. Last, but certainly not least is the fact that many men have totally forgotten that foreplay is not walking up behind his wife with an erection while she is doing the dishes. Yeah, it’s nice but it certainly isn’t the key to incredible sex.

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1 comment

John March 4, 2017 at 5:09 PM

Nice little piece of misandry. Total waste of time, like an article on how to clean a litter box.

Reply

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