Witnessing a teen battling with addiction can be emotionally distressing. As a parent, you always want what is best for your child. Seeing them in this state can bring up a lot of emotions and feelings. You may be quick to blame them for their actions, assuming that they’ve fallen into the wrong friend group. Or you may place blame on yourself for not being as present as you perhaps could have been for them.
Recognize that all of these feelings are valid. It can be overwhelming to acknowledge that your teen is struggling, let alone with a mental illness. As these feelings creep in, remember to prioritize your efforts on your teen’s health. Delaying treatment can only make recovery more challenging.
As a parent, you will play a vital role in your teen’s substance abuse treatment. Here are a few ways that you can best provide support.
Active Support
First and foremost, parents should be there throughout the treatment process. Active, engaged parents will acknowledge that their teen needs serious help, without passing judgment or blaming the teen directly for their actions. Remember, substance abuse is a complex medical condition rooted in mental illness. Even if you’re angry and disappointed, try to hold these emotions to yourself and instead concentrate your efforts on staying involved in your teen’s treatment journey.
This type of treatment will impact the entire family, including any siblings. Family therapy is often recommended to help everyone manage and deal with their emotions in their own way. These sessions can empower you to continue to have an open dialogue with your teen, creating an environment where they feel safe to talk to you about how they are coping.
Clear Boundaries
Just because you’re remaining active in your teen’s recovery doesn’t mean that they have the upper hand in decisions. You are still the adult, the parent who has control over your child’s actions. Setting clear boundaries is key to treatment success and can help prevent relapses.
Be firm with your set of rules, identifying the specific consequences your child will face if they break these rules. For instance, maybe you set the rule that you will drive them to and from the substance abuse rehab program. Under no circumstances can they drive alone unchaperoned by an adult.
Another rule you may consider is not lying to extended family members and friends about what is happening. Although you may feel shame, being open and honest with others can help reduce the stigma associated with substance abuse and mental illness. It can also be helpful to you in that friends and family members may reach out and offer their support, knowing what type of burden your immediate family is facing.
When setting boundaries, ensure that everyone in the household is aware of the rules and their subsequent consequences. Keep the list in a visible place, such as on the refrigerator door, as a constant reminder.
Education
As hard as it may be for you to recognize the situation your teen has found themselves in fully, the more you know, the better informed you’ll be. There is a lot of misinformation regarding teen substance abuse. From forcing treatment to stopping if they really wanted to, myths surrounding the disease can misshape your perceptions of what is currently happening. Educating yourself on substance abuse can provide you and your family with guidance to move forward.
Seek out reputable resources online — such as the National Institute of Health (NIH), Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), or Mayo Clinic — to learn more about the disease. Next, speak to your child’s care team about where else you can learn more to empower yourself. They will likely have a set of resources specifically for parents. Education about your teen’s situation can arm you with coping mechanisms, providing support for you so you can best support your child.
Self-Care
As you support your teen through this chapter in their life, it’s important not to give up on your own health and well-being. It’s normal for parents to be stressed, fatigued, and overwhelmed by the situation at hand. Once you know that your teen is on the right path to recovery, take a step back and take care of yourself. You can only be there for your child if you are well-rested and recharged.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to book a full day at the spa. It can be more beneficial to incorporate small moments of self-care into your routine. Perhaps that’s enjoying your first cup of coffee on the porch, doing a quick meditation to begin your day. Or maybe you have a standing walk with a friend every Friday morning. Whatever it is, setting aside time for yourself can be a highlight of your week in a heavy, darker period in your life.
Make sure that both you and your spouse or partner have equal opportunities for these self-care acts. Be overly communicative about what you need to show up best for yourself and your teen. Encourage your partner to take the same amount of time to refill their cup. Doing so will encourage both of you to properly recharge and focus on your teen’s recovery.
Takeaways
Just because you are the parent doesn’t mean that you need to figure out what’s best for your teen alone. Doing your own research and education can motivate you to seek treatment facilities and care teams for your child. Asking for help from family members and friends — while maybe daunting at first — can provide you with the support you need to continuously show up active and engaged for your teen. It’s a team effort, so know that help is out there and readily available for you and your family.
