Who is today’s dad? The easiest way to understand who he IS is to first discover who he is NOT.
Today’s dad is not a beer-bellied, belching, football-watching lump who has no idea how to change a diaper. He is not the man of decades past who, upon finding out his child had pooped in a diaper while mom was in the shower, would simply wrap the diaper in saran wrap to stop it from leaking. Today’s dad is NOT the one you see in television commercials, unable to find a clean dish, turn on the dishwasher, or prepare a healthy meal for his children. He is not clueless about washing clothes, and he spends a lot of time helping his kids with homework. He is not embarrassed to attend a PTA meeting, or even become PTA president.
The Changing Role of Today’s Dad
Today’s dad is not the kind of man who feels that weekends are HIS time alone and heads out early every Saturday morning for fishing trips while the mother of his children is stuck at home. He doesn’t avoid feeding times, skip pediatrician visits, or shy away from sitting in a preschool pick-up line for hours—if that’s how long it takes. Today’s dad isn’t afraid to call in sick to work because his child woke up with a fever, and he certainly isn’t intimidated by a 3 a.m. vomit call. He is not the man in the house who constantly asks, “What’s for dinner?” because he already knows. And today’s dad isn’t going to pay an extra $2 for toilet paper just because he’s too ashamed to use a coupon from the Sunday paper.
Today’s dad is changing. Breaking the stereotypes of how dads are perceived versus how they actually are has become as difficult a motion as the women’s movement. Ironically, women who have gained so much from the equal rights movement have forgotten to extend the same courtesies to the millions of men in this world who stand up for their families, take a real parenting role, and help raise their children. While it would be considered bad manners—or politically incorrect—to refer to a woman’s place as “in the home,” it is still surprisingly acceptable to refer to fathers as nothing more than Ted Bundy prototypes.
Even new television shows and movies often make jokes about the stereotypical dad from the Leave It to Beaver era, highlighting his inability to care for a child (especially a baby) and making light of his perceived inadequacies as a parent. If a mom forgets to send her child to school with lunch, she is labeled “horrible.” If a dad does the same, it’s excusable, because, after all, he is “incapable” of doing such things. Similarly, a stay-at-home dad receives undue credit and admiration for “giving up his manhood to raise a family,” while a woman is simply expected to do so and is almost scorned if she wants to work.
Nearly every day you hear of a deadbeat dad, one who is months or even years behind in child support payments. Did you know that there are quite a few deadbeat moms out there as well? Did you also know that today, many men are gaining full custodial rights to their children because the mother has been deemed incapable? After years of the courts treating families like cattle, keeping the calves with the heifers, even the judicial system is recognizing how far men have come when it comes to raising children.
Interestingly, a study from Psychology Today showed that, at times, dads make better parents than their female counterparts. They might not be as conventional as women when it comes to following rules, but they tend to play more heartily with their children and often handle situations with significantly less stress. Maybe, just maybe—today’s dad, the one changing the stereotypes of fathers everywhere—actually enjoys nurturing and caring for his children!
The time has come to start giving dads—the ones who aren’t afraid to get involved in the dirty work of raising children and keeping a home—the credit they deserve. Perhaps this new breed of fathers intimidates women because, for the first time in a long time, they have some competition. What will women complain about when their husbands help with the dishes and feel just as responsible for taking care of the kids as she does? What will women do when couples start flipping coins to decide who GETS the privilege of staying home with the children?
The tides of change have rolled in. Now, the time has come for the world to ride the wave and realize that today’s dad is just as good a parent as today’s mom. Today’s children are the real winners here. With both parents working equally and willingly together to raise their kids, the children have it made. Enough with the derogatory comments, silly jokes, spiteful quips, and stereotypical ideals about dads. Today’s dad deserves none of that. And, by the way, he can make a mean meatloaf in the process!
