Now that you are a parent, all those nights of sneaking out, lying to your parents about your real whereabouts, and spending your days under an alluring sense of anonymity come back to haunt you. You were a good kid. You generally followed the rules. You weren’t what you considered a troublemaker. But you can at least admit that you weren’t always honest with your parents—especially when it came to where you were spending your Friday night. Were you really at the football game, or did you slip off to a party that they forbid you to attend?
Today’s parents are luckier compared to generations ago. We have access to technology that allows us to keep tabs on our children from afar. As GPS technology gets more advanced, tracking your teens becomes easier and easier. With most cellular phones (which, according to Reuters, are owned by 3.6 out of every 4 teenagers), you can track your teenager with just the click of a mouse on your wireless account. The technology is so advanced that you can pinpoint their whereabouts (based on their phone’s location) down to an exact address.
Is Tracking Your Teen Too Much Control?
Other forms of tracking devices can covertly attach to a vehicle without the teen knowing it’s there. These devices can report back to a base, giving detailed information such as the speed of travel, the exact location of the vehicle, and even alerting parents to any boundary or traffic violations. This form of tracking is often chosen by parents whose teenager has just started driving. One of the benefits of a device like this, as opposed to phone tracking, is that it can be used undercover. This way, teens can’t simply leave their phones in the place they’re ‘supposed’ to be and forward calls or texts to a friend. Additionally, some teens have figured out how to supersede technology and turn off GPS tracking on their phones.
The question is: Just because you CAN track your teen, should you? At some point, parents have to let go and give their teens some trust. If you feel you have to monitor every move they make, it might suggest there are deeper issues of trust and discipline that need to be addressed in the home.
Many parents feel that tracking is absolutely necessary. Not only is it a way to build trust—especially if your teen doesn’t know they’re being tracked—but it also ensures their safety. However, other parents disagree, believing that teens deserve a degree of trust to prove they are worthy of it. If you never allow your teenager to disappoint you, you can be sure that they won’t—but you will never know how they will react to real ‘freedom’ once they leave your home. This could lead to extreme and dangerous behaviors once they finally get that freedom.
If you never allow your teen to fumble, you also prevent them from learning valuable lessons about cause and effect. By giving them some slack and letting them make decisions on their own, you help them build responsibility and experience the consequences of their actions. This, of course, only works if parents stay firm in following through with consequences. Set clear limits, make sure your child understands your expectations, and be sure to discuss rules of behavior in ALL areas of their life—even those that haven’t yet come into play—so there’s no confusion.
Parenting experts agree that trust is about give and take. If your teen has never given you a reason to mistrust them, and you’ve worked hard to instill good morals, you should trust your parenting. At the same time, it’s wise to remind them that, at any time, you could use the available tracking technology to verify their story. Chances are, your teen is aware of the technology at your disposal.
More important than being stealthy is ensuring that you and your teen have open lines of communication. Make sure your teen feels comfortable talking to you and try not to overreact when they tell you about their life. Teens often feel their parents are too judgmental, so they withhold information to avoid a lecture or being judged. When your teen does open up to you, try to listen as a friend would, without constantly being negative, and show them that you have at least some understanding of teen culture. In other words, when they let YOU in, do your best not to shove them out by being too judgmental and close-minded. Parenting teens is often about learning to let go a little.
Certainly, tracking technology has made parenting easier. Being certain that you know where their vehicle and cell phone are at all times can ease your worries when they go out. It may also help prevent those late-night searches for your teen when they miss curfew or you discover that they aren’t where they said they would be. But at some point, your child will be an adult and expected to act as one without someone constantly tracking them. As a parent, it’s your job to teach them how to handle that responsibility.
