Professor's House

Walking On Eggshells in Your Own Home

You know the feeling. It’s Saturday and you have tip toed around all morning, not wanting to prematurely wake up your sleeping spouse who has been snoring all morning long. You know if you wake him or her up, too soon he or she will be in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Not the angry, stomping, or hollering bad mood but the kind that lingers like a bad odor. The last thing you want is to spend your weekend walking on eggshells in your own home because once again, your spouse is angry, about something even though you aren’t exactly sure what it is. And asking? Well, that is out of the question because a simple, ‘What’s wrong with you,’ can simply become the basis for divorce.

Such is the life with moody people. And the truth is, from time to time each and every one of us can be moody. Sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, or too early, or just aren’t in the mood to deal with anyone else. And for those folks that are chronically moody, living with them can be a meticulous walk.

Even worse are those bad moods that seem to come out of nowhere. One minute you are married to a normal happy person and the next, they have quickly given you reason to seek out a remedy for bi-polar disorder. And as much as you hate to admit it, THEIR bad mood DOES affect you. As hard as you try to ignore them, and be your happy jovial self, eventually their moodiness begins ruining your day.

So what is the solution to moody people, when divorce or locking them in a closet is just not an option? You already know that asking doesn’t work and only makes things worse, right? One idea is to create a simple checklist of the top ten things that normally annoy your spouse, so you can quickly read the bullet points and see if one of those things is the problem. In fact, it might be a good idea for the two of you to sit down and make a list of 10 or so things that drive you crazy and put you in a bad mood so each of you has a short listed, pocket-sized moodiness manual you can use to figure out what the heck the problem is! Truth is, men and women don’t normally see eye to eye on the things in life that warrant a ‘bad mood.’

The following checklist can be personalized of course, but list some of the minor reasons that you might be dealing with a major bad mood from your partner?

Checklist for a Woman in a Bad Mood

  • Bad hair day? This could be a grey hair found in the mirror, a bad haircut, or the fact that her straightener broke before she had a chance to use it. Bottom line, is a bad hair day is definitely grounds for a moody woman. Check her hair (don’t mention the grey) and continue walking on eggshells!
  • Coworkers pissed them off. She tried to tell you about it and you said she was just being ‘catty,’ or ‘a woman,’ (BIG mistake). Take another hack at trying to listen to her and make sure that you are on her side even if you do think she is being a bag!
  • She said yes again. To volunteering at school, to taking on the extra work, to offering to pick up the dry cleaning. You name it, and she said yes which now means she feels overwhelmed and cranky. Advice’.pick up the dry cleaning for her, which will also get you OUT of the house.
  • Her jeans didn’t zip. Umm, pretend you didn’t notice. In fact, you should never be the one to remind or ask your wife if they have gained weight. Just let her talk about her weight with her girlfriends lest she be in a chronic bad mood.
  • You tried to tell her what to do. It doesn’t matter if out of consideration, you told her to go take a walk, or to take a little nap because you noticed she was moody and tired. The fact that YOU had the audacity to tell her what to do, is enough to cause a passive aggressive mood swing that can last for days.
  • She is on her period. Or is about to get her period. Or whatever. Stay up to date with your woman’s cycle so you can immediately pinpoint when the moody phase is about to hit. (But never blame her mood or her snapping at you on the fact that she is on her period even if it is the truth).
  • It’s a full moon. Seriously, if the woman in your life is off the charts moody, check the lunar cycle. Maybe, she is part coyote.
  • The kids are driving her crazy. If she has been surrounded by the kids for a long time now- she might be at the brink of insanity. And NO YOU won’t understand. Either offer to baby-sit, or go out and mow the lawn. (Whatever you do, don’t TELL her to take a break).
  • The In-laws again. Look, her mother can drive her crazy and she can talk bad about her but YOU cannot. Leave the in-law conversation alone lest you spark a moody phase that has you walking on eggshells (and sleeping on the couch) for weeks.
  • And speaking of in-laws, YOU called your mom for advice instead of asking your girlfriend/wife first. That’s one way to rule out sex for a month of so.
  • She thinks you aren’t listening. Your nose glued to the ball game while she is talking to you about painting the bedroom apparently gives it away. Learn how to look at her, nod your head in agreement and keep up with the game.

Checklist for a Man in a Bad Mood

  • He hasn’t had sex in a while. This is first on the list for a good reason. If the man in your life is moody for no apparent reason and the two of you haven’t had sex in a while, now is the time!
  • Work is pissing him off or stressing him out. And no, he is not going to TALK about it with you because that is NOT how mea deal with it. Refer to number one, and consider sex.
  • Kids. Kids affect men differently than they do woman. And kids are annoying. Try to get him to go outside and mow the lawn so he won’t have to hear the bickering.
  • Bills. If he noticed you wearing a new pair of shoes, he might get a little moody because he’s pretty ticked that you are spending money on things like shoes. (Unless of course they are stilettos and you plan to wear them while having sex). Bills can be a huge stressor for men, try to work on bills together so both of you can be in a bad mood.
  • Did someone drink too much last night? You might not be feeling sympathetic, but it could be a little hangover is looming. Just let him be! And this is time when sex won’t help!
  • You are continually asking him what is wrong! Men don’t want to talk about their feelings. Stop asking. Stop nagging. If he wanted to tell you he would, and you are only making things worst.
  • His favorite team lost a game. Seriously. This can be a definite mood kill that even sex cannot cure. Let him wallow in the loss for a while and DEFINITELY don’t ask ‘what happened to your team?’ For many men, it is NOT just a game!
  • Is the fridge out of beer? Why not take a trip to the store and get him some. That should end the bad mood in a hurry.
  • You have been talking on the phone for two hours. Not sure why this puts a man in a bad mood, because he certainly wouldn’t talk to you for two hours straight, but sometimes, it just does.
  • The in laws. Enough said.

Remember, when you are married to someone, live with him or her or just spend a lot of time together you are bound to see them in a bad mood from time to time. If you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells in your home, you need to learn how to distance yourself from your partner a little bit. Truth is, sometimes it’s NOT about you and nagging him or her will only cause a fight. Learn to live and let live, and if your partner’s mood isn’t because one of the things listed above believe that in time, this mood too shall pass.

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