Be honest, do you wear your wedding ring day in and day out, without fail, no matter what, come hell or high water? Many famous people don’t wear their wedding rings. Of course, the paparazzi always try to read into it, as if it’s a metaphor for a failed marriage. But the truth is, plenty of regular people have given up wearing their wedding rings as well. The reasons can be simple. For instance, maybe it doesn’t fit anymore, and the couple has more important things to spend their money on than jewelry. But sometimes, the reasons are more complex and less innocent. Maybe someone doesn’t want others to know they’re married. However, more often than not, the reasons people don’t wear their wedding rings are likely pretty benign.
As Time Goes On, the Ring Takes a Backseat
In the beginning of marriage, wearing a wedding ring feels like a privilege. After all, that’s what the couple has been waiting for, and now that they finally have the marriage, they’re excited about the ring. If one-half of the newlywed couple removes the ring too soon after the ceremony, chances are it won’t go over well and could even spark a huge argument about whether the marriage is working. Trying to explain to your spouse that you removed the wedding ring for a good reason—perhaps to avoid cutting off your finger at work—might not be acceptable. Your best bet is to put it back on and think of a good excuse to make up for this absent-minded moment.
In the early stages of marriage, the ring means everything. Shedding it for a shower or swimming in the ocean can feel like a capital offense. Yet, as time goes on, people become a little less attached to the ring. Many women, for example, take off their wedding rings when they have their first child. They realize it doesn’t fit for a while, and by the time it does, the large, jagged diamond starts leaving scratches on the baby. It dawns on them that they can still be happily married without wearing the ring. There are also many men who, due to work situations, don’t wear their wedding rings daily. Even more common is the fact that many men just aren’t the jewelry type and would have likely preferred a tattooed wedding ring over something made of gold or silver.
Fast forward even further into the marriage, and the wedding rings become less important to some people. The truth is, they’ve internalized the commitment, and whether they wear a ring or not, it doesn’t fool anyone—they’re married. A survey in Glamour magazine revealed that both men and women who are willing to hit on a married person will do so whether that person is wearing a wedding ring or not. In other words, not wearing a wedding ring doesn’t mean someone is trying to portray themselves as single, nor will it stop others from hitting on them.
The real issue with wearing—or not wearing—your wedding ring comes down to how you feel about it. If you’re strongly opposed to your partner removing it for any reason, it’s crucial that you communicate this. Otherwise, your spouse may randomly take it on or off without realizing that, to you, this is a significant issue. Also, you need to ask yourself why the wedding ring is so important to you. Are you mistrustful of your spouse? Do you feel like the ring is a symbol of something deeper, whether that’s an instinct or something more concrete? If this is the case, rather than focusing on the ring, have an honest conversation about your marriage. Ask the questions you want to know, express how you feel, and share your suspicions. There’s a good chance you’ll have a much-needed conversation, or at least clear up some lingering concerns. Better yet, your partner may put the ring back on without much resistance, never to take it off again.
Obviously, the wedding ring symbolizes the vows you both made on your wedding day. For many people, especially women, wearing the ring gives them a sense of belonging and pride; it’s an outward statement that they are taken, claimed, already. Men, however, don’t always see it the same way. In many marriages, it’s the men who tire of wearing their wedding rings and, at some point, give them up altogether. If this bothers you as a wife, don’t wait five years to bring it up. Address it sooner rather than later.
If you have a reason to remove the ring, instead of waiting for your partner to notice, talk to them about it. Not making the removal of the wedding ring a big deal is often the best way to avoid conflict. The bottom line is that many people find it offensive when a married person doesn’t wear their wedding ring at all times. Yet, in today’s world, there are likely just as many people who don’t need the status symbol of a ring to remind them that they’re married. As marriage progresses, it’s normal for people to become less attached to the ring itself and more attached to the marriage itself. And that can be a very good thing. Being confident in your relationship and your partner is a wonderful part of marriage that no ring can replicate.
So, will you be wearing your wedding ring today? If not, could you tell us why?
