Pick up any book on planning a wedding, and you’ll end up overwhelmed by a sea of do’s and don’ts for every aspect of the event. Some women are known to have suffered nervous breakdowns in the midst of preparations—scary, right?
“Do I really want to go through with this?” you ask yourself as your nerves begin to jingle and jangle. Budgeting and figuring out how to fund the wedding is one thing, but the stress a wedding generates puts such enormous strain on the couple that it requires a clever makeup artist to camouflage the physical toll of six to twelve months of stress. Would-be brides break out, lose weight (or gain it if they overeat because of stress), and struggle to focus. But mostly, it’s the skin rashes—like pimples and hives—that can be disconcerting.
We’d like to share some wedding tips with you, but read them only if you’re relaxed! We’ve taken a different approach—a lighter discussion on some aspects of wedding planning that you’ll need to navigate along the way. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because you’ve hired a professional wedding planner to handle the nitty-gritty, you’re home free. Like it or not, you’re still very much a part of the “manufacturing” process. Producing a wedding just isn’t possible without the planner consulting with you every single day.
So, bon courage (as the French say), and take it as another one of those “hiccups” in life. YOU can make it fun, and the rule is to enjoy yourself—even in the chaos!
Important Wedding Tip – Do We Have Good Credit?
*“At 20 years of age, the will reigns; at 30, the wit; and at 40, the judgment.”* (Benjamin Franklin)
We’re not asking you to wait until you hit your 40s to get married, just because your judgment will be better then. But when planning a wedding, you need to harness good judgment early on, especially when it comes to the financial aspects. If you’re in your 20s, act with the wisdom of a 40-year-old when you establish your wedding budget. You don’t want to end up cash-strapped for the next 10 years because you overdid it on the ceremony, reception, and honeymoon.
If you don’t have enough cash and your parents can’t contribute, speak to your banker to see if he’ll increase your line of credit. If you have a healthy credit score, he will empathize and gladly extend you credit. Everyone knows that getting married can be financially draining.
Hold a wedding you can afford—never mind the Joneses. If you want to invite the whole community because you’re the type of person who can’t bear to exclude anyone, then opt for a less formal wedding. If you really want a formal wedding, scale back your guest list. Decide what’s truly important.
Plan Way Ahead
*“Not only is there NO God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”* (Woody Allen)
You may wonder why we’ve chosen this particular quote. It has to do with schedules, forward planning, last-minute arrangements, and emergencies. If you decide to get married, don’t think you can pull it off in just a couple of months, especially if you plan to invite 200 people and have all the usual niceties on hand.
Wedding tip: If you give yourself at least six months before the actual wedding date (12 months is ideal), you can make provisions in case a vendor isn’t available. This will help you finalize all vendor agreements for flowers, music, photography, catering, invitations, favors, and a myriad of other details that are often overlooked. Put time on your side by planning ahead.
If you’re getting married in June, you’ve chosen the busiest time of the year for weddings. So, if your favorite stationery store can’t handle your invitations at a month’s notice, who can? If your favorite baker can’t take your order for a wedding cake because their schedule is packed, you could be out of luck. In fact, bakers often need at least six months’ notice. A few can do it in three months, and you’ll be lucky to find one willing to take your order on short notice.
We also mentioned in another article that if you plan to hold the ceremony and reception at your home or at your parents’ estate, make sure that the plumbing system passes a health inspection. This is the happiest day of your life—you don’t want an overflowing toilet to spoil it!
Location, Location, Location!
*“Ocean: a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.”* (Ambrose Bierce)
Some people exchange wedding vows on top of an Alaskan glacier, while others do so at the dark and cold depths of the ocean floor. If that’s your cup of tea, go for it. But if you’re planning to exchange vows underwater, not all of your guests will want to join you. “Oh, but the ocean scares me. I can’t possibly swim down there, much less float!” Or “You want me to wear THAT and make my way THERE?”
It’s your wedding, so have it your way. But be considerate of your guests. If they’d rather wait for you on land, give them something to do while they wait and provide some suntan lotion. Also, if you find a minister willing to wear scuba gear and perform the ceremony underwater, let us know! Many beach and ocean lovers would want to get in touch with him.
Wedding Tip on Wedding Bands
*“Love, as told by the seers of old, comes as a butterfly tipped with gold, flutters and flies in sunlit skies, weaving round hearts that were once cold.”* (Swinburne)
You’re wearing your engagement ring, and now that the big day is approaching, it’s time to think about your wedding bands. The wedding band is the most tangible expression of your union. It speaks volumes about your devotion. While the engagement ring can be as elaborate as money can buy, wedding bands are typically simpler and, in many cases, more elegant—and certainly more blessed (the officiant blesses them during the ceremony). Choose a simple design in gold (yellow, rose, or white); some couples prefer silver or platinum. Platinum is the strongest of the three metals and also the most expensive.
Rest assured, if you choose a platinum wedding band, it won’t get smashed during your first fight after the honeymoon. You may hurl glasses and china, but your wedding band will stay intact. Your initials, your spouse’s, and your wedding date engraved inside the bands will remind you to kiss and make up when nothing is left in the china cabinet.
Wedding tip: If you’re investing in good wedding bands, ask the jeweler for a Certificate of Authenticity. Buy your bands from a reputable store.
Here’s a suggestion: If you can’t find wedding bands that suit your taste, consider designing them yourself and having a craft artist create them for you.
And the Most Eloquent of Wedding Tips Is…
If you were born in the 40s or 50s, you’ve likely heard of James Dean. He led a turbulent life, probably because he said this:
“Dream as if you’ll live forever; live as if you’ll die tomorrow.”
Your marriage doesn’t need to be turbulent. Only Hollywood types live and breathe turbulence and scandal. You can follow Dean’s advice and still live happily ever after with the same person you married 25 years ago…
And don’t give up on those dreams!
