If you are reading this, chances are you are going through a very difficult time in your marriage. Perhaps you feel that you and your spouse have grown apart. Maybe you think you are too different, or you simply feel that your partner doesn’t love you anymore. Perhaps the situation is worse, and you have discovered that your partner has been unfaithful. No matter what the circumstances, if you are wondering what the Bible says about divorce, you must be feeling pretty desperate—and even more so, very alone.
First and foremost, it is important to know that you are not alone. God is always with you, guiding you when you feel lost, carrying you when your feet can walk no more, and holding you when you simply need someone to care. He whispers to you even when you don’t realize it. He is working behind the scenes to improve your life, filling you to overflowing and bringing you exactly what you need at the right moment.
If you want to find out what the Bible says about divorce, please read on for some much-needed answers for the here and now. If you need more information, read your Bible. If you need quick answers, consider using online Bible sites that allow you to search for keywords and ask questions. Christian counselors, pastors, and trusted elders are also great resources for saving your marriage or deciding when it is Biblical to call it quits and move on.
Praying and Hearing God’s Voice
In all circumstances, the best thing to do is pray. While many people can give you advice, no one offers better guidance than the Father. However, when you are very upset, it can be difficult to discern what God is saying. This is tricky, as other spirits can “mimic” God, and your own feelings can drown out His voice. Remember that God will NEVER tell you to do, say, or think something that is NOT in line with His Word.
If possible, ask others to pray with you as well. Maybe you can set a specific time and day of the week to pray in your respective homes or workplaces. This will help you feel a sense of community and create a great prayer chain for making miracles happen!
When to Forgive
While the Bible does provide an “out” if your partner is sexually unfaithful, the choice ultimately rests with the wronged spouse. As Mark 10:11-12 states, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
I believe that God is always in the business of reconciliation—assuming the spouse is willing to STOP the harmful behavior.
In the book of Peter, Jesus teaches that we should forgive “up to 70 times 7” times. If you are being repeatedly harmed by your spouse’s behavior and they refuse to change, forgiveness can be different from forgetting. You can forgive someone and still choose to move on. However, every situation is unique. In such cases, it would be beneficial to speak with a Christian counselor, pastor, or trusted elder.
What If?
As Jeremiah 31:3 states, “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.’”
Perhaps none of the above situations apply to your life. Maybe you have already filed for divorce and are having second thoughts, or perhaps you have been divorced for many years for reasons other than adultery and feel that God cannot forgive you for leaving your spouse. In this case, I want you to know that we serve a God full of grace. He loves you all the time, and there is nothing His blood and forgiveness cannot erase. Nothing can separate you from Him. While He may not always love our behavior, He ALWAYS loves us—no exceptions.
We are glad you took the time to explore the Bible further. If you are doing so, it is clear that you care about your marriage and, most importantly, about God’s will for your life. As you navigate this difficult time, may you know that you are not alone, and be assured of the prayers of Christians everywhere. Through it all, remember that even when it’s raining, He still reigns.
