Whether you are an anxious bride-to-be eagerly awaiting your special day, or have been someone’s beloved wife for many years, every Christian asks themselves at some point, “What does the Bible say about marriage?”
Perhaps you and your spouse are going through a very difficult time right now. Maybe you’re unsure if your marriage can survive, and you’re seeking God’s will and purpose for your union. Or perhaps you simply want to start your marriage on the right foot before taking the big plunge. No matter your reason for wondering what the Bible says about marriage, everything you need to know is found within God’s Word. If you ask Him to share His wisdom with you, He is faithful to do so.
If you don’t have time to go through the Bible for all the answers right away, read on to find answers to some of the most frequently asked questions from husbands and wives, straight from the Bible.
Why are men and women so different?
Genesis 2:23-24 says, *“The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.’”* Many pastors explain it like this: Adam was created from the earth, but Eve was created from his side. Men and women were not created to be alike, but rather to complete one another. If you carefully examine your marriage, you’ll find that what you lack, your spouse makes up for. If your husband has trouble waiting, you may be very patient. If you’re not very good at managing money, your spouse might be an excellent mathematician. Our shortcomings complement one another.
What does the Bible say about intimacy in marriage?
The Song of Solomon goes into extensive detail about what an intimate marriage should look like. The passion Solomon and his bride have for each other rivals that of modern romance novels. The sum of it is: *“The marriage bed is undefiled.”* But what does this mean? It means that anything between husband and wife is to be celebrated and enjoyed.
How should I show my love for my spouse?
Ephesians 5:22-25 states, *“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.”* In other words, think of your wife or husband as yourself, giving preference to their needs. This may often require sacrifice. If an activity you’re participating in makes your spouse uncomfortable, consider giving it up. This may seem extreme, but it creates a sense of true security in your marriage. Even if you don’t understand why a particular activity or event upsets your spouse, giving it up shows that your love for them is greater than or equal to your love for yourself.
How do we guard our marriage from disaster?
While there are many verses on temptation and things that can harm our relationships, I think Proverbs 4:23 sums it up best: *“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”* A good rule of thumb is this: if Jesus were around, would you still do what you’re doing, think what you’re thinking, look at what you’re seeing, or say what you’re saying? Guard your heart. Don’t allow yourself to daydream about what it would be like if your spouse were more like the neighbor’s wife, and don’t fix your eyes on anyone else. While it may seem harmless, our God holds us to higher standards. Lust is just as sinful as adultery.
When learning what the Bible says about marriage, remember that every marriage has its ups and downs. But by studying God’s Word and taking time to pray for one another, you will find that nothing is impossible. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
If you still feel as though you need help, consider talking to an elder, a Christian counselor, or a trusted pastor.
