There are many who consciously acknowledge the achievements of the women’s movement. Over the last 50 years, women have moved beyond domestic duties and entered the workforce, often earning more than their male counterparts. In the last election, the United States saw its first female candidate run for the presidency. Where once women couldn’t vote, they are now a coveted segment of the population. In many ways—especially within the home—women have come a long way since the days of June Cleaver. But what happened to men?
Once, men were considered the ‘alpha male,’ the sole providers for families and the leaders of society. While men made important decisions, women managed the home and children. Over time, the domestication of the modern man has altered what is seen as “manly.” Forty years ago, men weren’t encouraged to change diapers, take a hands-on approach to parenting, or handle mundane tasks like cleaning the house. But today, all that has changed.
The empowerment of women in recent decades has led to drastic changes in ‘manhood.’ For example, today it’s common to see TV commercials, shows, or movies centered around single fathers. In the United States alone, around 66.3 million stay-at-home dads, according to the US Census Bureau. These are often married fathers who share their ‘manly’ duties with their spouses. Additionally, about 2 million preschool-age children spend more time with their fathers than their mothers—an unheard-of situation in the past.
As the role of men has shifted within the family, so too have expectations around marriage and family rearing. Today, women are comfortable, and often insistent, about splitting domestic chores 50/50. Many fathers do the dishes, laundry, and even carry their infants in baby carriers. According to a 2006 report from the Department of Family Services, arguments over household chores are the second most common conflict in marriages. Years ago, this would have never come up, as women didn’t feel they could rely on their male partners for domestic help.
Is What Happened to Men a Good Thing?
Interestingly, a new breed of man is emerging. Mothers today are raising their sons to be proactive in the house, teaching them alongside their sisters how to handle domestic duties. In 1942, a survey found that 94% of men had never done a load of laundry. Today, over 66% of men are comfortable running the washing machine. As men’s roles in the family evolve, so does the quality of family relationships. Children are now raised by both fathers and mothers, enriching the childhood experience. According to the American Psychological Association, the evolving expectations of men in the family and the reduced stigma around divorce are empowering couples to pursue more equal marriages. With women now able to ask for divorces, more pressure to perform is placed on husbands and fathers.
Admittedly, many women still want their partners to be ‘manly.’ Some families still follow the traditional “stay-at-home mom, working dad” model, with clearly defined gender roles. However, the new generation of parents, and the ones to follow, are comfortable sharing domestic duties equally. While women are becoming more educated, men are increasingly participating in the emotional aspects of life. Some women may still be uncomfortable with their partners doing household tasks like mopping or feeding an infant. But by clinging to these outdated gender roles, they may be reducing their own and their children’s quality of life.
The media often perpetuates the stereotype of the “deadbeat dad,” with commercials showing men ineptly handling domestic chores. However, statistics suggest the role of men is changing for the better. These changes are closing the gaps of inequality between men and women that have long been evident in society.
In marriage, one spouse’s success should not outweigh the other’s. If one partner is solely responsible for raising children and maintaining the home, while their own personal achievements are ignored, the family unit as a whole suffers. Today’s new man—unashamed to pitch in and help, proud to be involved in diapering infants—is enabling both men and women to succeed and find true happiness.
What happened to men? They’ve grown. They’ve become comfortable with both their professional and domestic roles. They are now recognized as vital members of the family, learning how to be better partners and parents. This evolution is a significant benefit to society.
