Have you ever wondered what kind of people cheat on their spouses?
Oftentimes, it’s the most unlikely of people who cheat on their partners. You know the ones. Your neighbor across the street has the hottest wife in town, yet he was caught in the office bathroom with the 20-year-old receptionist who had acne and a weight problem. Or, the couple that runs the PTA at your child’s school, who seem like the perfect match, until you heard she ran away with her preacher after a two-year-long affair.
Infidelity, in one form or another, affects around half of all married couples. It’s nothing uncommon today, especially in an age when keeping in touch with people and meeting new ones has become incredibly easy. Worse, by some accounts, it is estimated that emotional or physical infidelity affects 8 out of 10 couples, but the affairs and relationships are never revealed. In other words, your partner could be cheating right now, and there’s a good chance you’ll never know about it.
What Factors Influence Infidelity?
Do appearances have anything to do with infidelity? If a spouse has gained weight, is their partner more likely to stray? What about money? Does financial status make a difference in whether partners stay true or not? Are men more likely than women to cheat? Is there a personality blueprint that can dictate whether you’re in a relationship with someone who will cheat?
According to statistics from the General Social Survey (GSS), determining who is more likely to cheat is a difficult task. In their study of people who cheated, factors such as weight, attractiveness, financial status, and education did not significantly increase or decrease the likelihood of infidelity. One important factor that the GSS didn’t measure, however, is the frequency of sex in the marriage. Most people who cheat do so because they are not being satisfied at home.
Personality Traits and Infidelity
According to The Truth About Deception, one personality trait that makes someone more prone to infidelity is a love for risk-taking. Some people, often referred to as adrenaline junkies, are more inclined to cheat for the thrill of the adventure. For them, the inherent risk of cheating might be exciting and could have little to do with unhappiness at home.
Sexual desire is another inborn trait that may cause someone to cheat. By sheer genetics, some people have a higher sexual drive than others, and often, these individuals have an addictive quality to their sexual behavior. Many sex addicts admit that they love their spouse but feel a compelling need to fulfill their sexual fantasies with multiple partners.
This phenomenon, known as the Coolidge Effect, has been proven to exist in all mammalian species, including humans. Essentially, it states that males will experience renewed sexual desire for any female who shows an interest in them. In other words, no matter how strong a marriage is, if another female shows interest, your partner may cave to this innate biological drive. This is why some researchers believe monogamy in humans may be impossible.
Religion can also play a role in who cheats and who doesn’t. Studies show that those who are deeply committed to their faith and who believe in the sanctity of marriage are less likely to cheat, as infidelity is often seen as a grave sin. However, in modern times, with so many reports of sexual corruption among church leaders and members, this is a difficult trait to gauge.
Past Behavior as a Predictor
Perhaps the best way to know if someone is a cheater is to look at their past behavior. If you are with someone who cheated on someone else to be with you, chances are they will do the same to you. People’s past actions are the best predictors of their future behavior. If a partner has cheated on you once, the likelihood that they will do it again is high. While people can change, the easiest way to predict what someone will do is to look at their track record.
Trust in Relationships
Regardless of how high the chances of infidelity are, and in spite of the statistics that seem to suggest cheating is inevitable, every couple must bring a certain level of trust to their relationship. The truth is that no one can predict what’s around the corner. We can’t foresee what life has in store, and we can’t control what others will or won’t do. All we can do is live in the present, prioritize our relationships, and trust that, in the end, we are doing our best.
