Have you ever wondered what kind of people cheat on their spouses? Oftentimes it’s the most unlikely of people that cheat on their partners. You know the ones. Your neighbor across the street has the hottest wife in town, yet he got caught coupled in the office bathroom with the 20-year-old receptionist who had acne and a weight problem. Or, the couple that runs the PTA at your child’s school who seem like the perfect match until you heard she ran away with her preacher after a 2-year long affair.
Infidelity, according to statistics in one form of another will affect around half of all married couples. It is nothing uncommon today. Especially since we live in a day and age when keeping in touch with people and meeting new ones has become so incredibly easy. And keeping these ‘relationships’ a secret even easier. Worse, is that by some accounts it is estimated that emotional or physical infidelity really affects 8 out of 10 couples, but the affairs and/or relationships are never revealed. In other words, your partner could be cheating right now and there is a good chance that you will never know about it.
Do appearances have something to do with people who cheat? If a spouse has gained weight, is their partner more likely to stray? What about money? Does money make a difference in whether partners stay true or not? Are men more likely than women to cheat? Is there some sort of blueprint on personality that can dictate whether you are in a relationship with someone who will be a cheater?
According to statistics from the GSS which is the General Social Survey association deciding who is more likely to cheat and who is not, is a difficult task. In their study of people that cheated, obvious things like weight and attractiveness of a partner, financial status, and education did not increase or decrease the likelihood of infidelity. One important thing that the GSS did not measure, is the frequency of sex in the marriage. Most people who cheat do so because they state they are not being satisfied at home.
According to The Truth About Deception, one aspect of a personality that would make someone more prone to infidelity is his or her love of risk taking. Apparently, there are some genetic factors that apply to people who like to ‘live by the seat of their pants,’ or are otherwise known as adrenaline junkies. With the inherent risk associated with cheating, these folks may be more prone to straying of course for the sheer ‘thrill’ of the adventure. The cheating may have nothing to do with unhappiness at home, but rather an inner drive to always seek the next adventure or climb the next hurtle.
Sexual desire is another inborn personality trait that may cause someone to be a cheater. By sheer genetics, some people have a higher sense of sexual desire than others do. And often, these folks have an addictive quality to their sexual interludes. There have been countless acts of infidelity by sex addicts who admit that they loved their spouse but just had an inner desire to fulfill sexual fantasies with multiple people.
This phenomenon, known as the Coolidge Effect, is one that has been proven to exist in every mammalian species known to man, and including man. Essentially, it states that males will have a renewed sexual desire for any and every female that shows an interest in sex with the male. In other words, no matter how strong a marriage is or how good the sex life is if another female waltzes in and wants to ‘mate’ with your partner your partner may cave to an extremely innate biological function. This is why so many people who have seriously studied monogamy in human beings have believed that it is an impossible feat.
Religion can also play a role in who cheats and who doesn’t. Studies show that those who are extremely dedicated to their faith, and believe in the doctrines of marriage and realize infidelity as a deadly sin are less likely to risk their stay in heaven for a romantic interlude with someone besides their spouse. However, in modern times with so many reports of church leaders and members being sexually corrupt, this is a difficult trait to gauge.
Perhaps the best way to know if someone is a cheater or not is to look at their past behavior. If you are with someone who cheated on someone else to be with you, chances are they will do the same thing to you. What people have done in the past is the BEST predictor of future behavior. If a partner has cheated on you once, then chances are pretty high that they will do it again. While people can and do change, the easiest way to predict what someone will or won’t do is to look at their track record.
Regardless of how high the chances of infidelity are, and in spite of the statistics in this world that seem to indicate you or your partner will eventually cheat each and every couple has to bring a certain level of trust to the relationship. The truth is that nobody can predict what is around the next bend. No one can really see around the corners of life. All we can do is live in the present and try to make our relationships with others a priority, while realizing what they will or won’t do is truly something that we cannot control.