What Men Don’t Understand about Raising Children

Raising Children Takes More Than Just Presence

Lots of men don’t understand that raising children means there needs to be more in the fridge than beer and hot dogs to satisfy the constant hunger kids experience. This ‘excess’ in food leads to increased grocery bills, sometimes amounting to half a paycheck or more. Yet, even so, few men understand that they still have to smell the milk before putting it in the kid’s cereal (no matter what the date says).

Men don’t understand that raising children leads to loss of sleep, a drop in sex drive from their wives, and an increased chance that their wives will look their age in no time—no matter how hot they were when they were dating. Raising children takes a toll on a woman much more quickly than it does on a man, and few men understand that (but women do!). The reason a man can hold onto his six-pack abs and rock-hard biceps while raising children is that, not only were they forced to gain 35 pounds or more in nine months, but they’re also not the ones sacrificing their exercise routines, workouts, or golf games due to the kids’ needs. Go figure!

Probably one of the most frustrating things men don’t understand about raising children is that it’s not a good idea to rile them up by wrestling on the floor or throwing them in the air five minutes before bedtime. Likewise, bringing home candy bars and sodas in the evening, showing them to the kids, and then telling them they have to “Go ask Mom,” is not a good way to come home—and it rarely leads to foreplay or lovemaking. Few men understand that being the “good guy” is really in the eyes of the beholder. Always saying “yes” to everything in an effort to avoid hurting their children’s feelings is a deep and cowardly character flaw.

There are men raising children who still don’t understand how detrimental it is when their kids don’t take a bath, wear clean clothes, eat fruits and veggies, or take a nap. Asking where to find the soap, their socks, toilet paper, or a toothbrush causes severe mood swings from their significant other. Many men have yet to understand that diapers are meant to be changed long before they hang between the poor baby’s knees. Serving their 6-month-old baby the first bite of table food when mom isn’t around is a huge slap in the face. It’s similar to how moms feel when they’ve spent all week slaving away to meet everyone’s needs, and then on Saturday, everyone just wants to hang out with Dad.

Most men don’t understand that raising children begins long before the kids can crawl or walk. It doesn’t start the day they can finally pick up a baseball bat. Playing in the yard with a 1-year-old can be just as fun as playing with a 5-year-old. Few men understand that saying things like “It looks like Mommy needs a break” or “Let’s go for a walk so Mommy can shower” are looked at as kind and thoughtful ways to help.

Men also don’t understand that when raising children, they should no longer seek help, advice, or assistance from their mothers without asking their wives first. It is never a good idea to leave the wife and mom alone together for any length of time, especially when the kids are babies. When the kids get sick, getting some crazy remedy from Mom is also something men shouldn’t do, and few men understand why. Just trust that it’s true!

What men don’t understand about raising children is that they aren’t supposed to yell, act in haste, or become annoyed too quickly at every little thing. They don’t understand that when taking car trips, things go much smoother when you stop often and take breaks—and no matter how much a kid drinks or doesn’t drink, they will still have to pee. Men rarely understand that shopping with children is stressful, or that it makes a difference whether or not your kid has a nice teacher or how well you know the other moms in your kid’s class. They also don’t realize that just because your kid is smart doesn’t mean they don’t have to do their homework or work hard to get good grades, instead of going fishing.

Men also fail to understand that spending more than four hours cooped up in a house with kids on a rainy day is more than any person should have to bear. When Mom offers to mow the grass, it’s because she desperately needs some quiet time.

What men don’t understand about raising children (aside from the rare dads) is that it takes all the energy one person can muster to get through the day. It’s a painstakingly beautiful mixture of joy and heartache that can drive you crazy if you let it. Men don’t understand that their wives wish, just for one second, that they could take on all the child-rearing responsibilities and admit once and for all that “No, they could not do it—and they certainly could not do it better than you.”

Men don’t understand that saying thank you, offering kisses and hugs, and never noticing the things that aren’t done would be a great way to help and support their wives during the child-raising years.

They don’t understand that raising children is about growing up, growing together, and growing a family. For all of this, there’s one thing that men do understand about raising children: Men understand that it could not be done without them. Their fatherly influence makes one of the biggest differences in the lives of the people they love the most!