It starts from conception! From this moment on it seems that men were born with an inherent ignorance when it comes to raising children. It isn’t just that they don’t seem to understand children; it’s that they are still such children themselves that in actuality they understand them too well and end up acting like them a lot of the time too. In fairness- there are men; few and far between who seem to have the maternal ability to be completely in tune with their children. There are even some men who seem to understand the ins and outs of raising children better than their wives. To them- kudos! To the rest, you need to listen up!
What men don’t understand about raising children is that they will often disrupt and interrupt baseball and football games, hockey matches and even the Olympics or any other sporting event or show that men like to watch – without hesitation, guilt or remorse they will beg and beg for you to change the channel back to Spongebob until you do! Men also don’t seem to understand that children don’t care how tired you are or what time you went to bed or how many hours you worked last week when Saturday morning comes they want you not just awake but out of bed!
Lots of men don’t understand that raising children means there has to be much more in the fridge than beer and hot dogs in order satisfy the constant hunger pains children experience. This ‘excess’ in food leads to increased grocery bills which sometimes can amount to half a paycheck or more and even so; few men understand that they still have to actually smell the milk before putting it in the kid’s cereal. (No matter what the date says) Men don’t understand that raising children leads to loss of sleep, lack of sex drive from their wives and an increased chance that their wife will look her age in no time; no matter how hot she was when they were dating. Raising children takes it toll on a woman much more quickly than it does a man and few men understand that. (But women do!) The reason a man can hold on to their six pack abs and rock hard biceps while raising children is because not only were they forced to gain 35 pounds or more in nine months but they are often not the ones who are miserably forced to sacrifice their exercise routine, workouts or golf game because of the needs of the kids. Go figure!
Probably one of the most frustrating things that men don’t understand about raising children is that it is not a good idea to rile them up by wrestling on the floor or throwing them up in the air 5 minutes before bed time. Likewise, bringing home candy bars and sodas in the evening, showing them to the kids and then telling them they have to ‘Go ask Mom’ is not a good way to come from work and rarely is it an attractive quality that will lead to foreplay or lovemaking. Few understand that being the good guy is really in the eyes of the beholder and that always saying yes, its okay with me, or good idea to the incessant pleas of the children to avoid hurting their feelings is a deep and cowardly character flaw.
There are men raising children that still don’t understand how detrimental not taking a bath, not wearing clean clothes, not eating fruits & veggies and not taking a nap is to the fragile mood of the home and that asking where they can find the soap, their socks, the toilet paper or their toothbrush causes severe mood swings from their significant other. Lots of men have yet to understand that diapers are meant to be changed long before they hang between the poor baby’s knees and that serving their 6 month old baby the first bite of table food when mom is not around is a huge slap in the face. It’s similar to the feeling that moms get when they have spent all week slaving and toiling to meet everyone needs and when Saturday comes – everyone just wants to hang out with Dad.
Most men don’t understand that raising children begins long before the kids can crawl or walk and doesn’t start the day they can finally pick up a baseball bat. It can be just as fun to play in the yard with a 1 year old as a 5 year old. Few men understand that saying things like ‘it looks like mommy needs a break’ or ‘lets go for a walk so Mommy can shower’ are looked at as kind and thoughtful ways to help. Men also don’t understand that when raising children they should no longer seek the help, advice or assistance of their mother without asking their wife first and that it is never a good idea to leave wife and mom alone together for any length of time. Especially when the kids are babies. When the kids get sick getting some crazy remedy from mom is also something that men shouldn’t do and few men understand why? Just trust it’s true!
What men don’t understand about raising children is that they aren’t supposed to yell, act in haste or become annoyed to quickly at every little they do. They don’t understand that when taking car trips things go much smoother when you stop often and take breaks and that no matter how much a kid drinks or doesn’t drink they will still have to pee. Men rarely understand that shopping with children is stressful and that it does make a difference whether or not they have a nice teacher or how well you know the other moms in your kids class. They also don’t realize that just because your kid is smart, doesn’t mean they don’t have to do their homework or work hard to get grades in lieu of fishing. Men also fail to understand that spending more than 4 hours cooped up in a house with kids on a rainy day is more than any person should have to bare and that when mom offers to mow the grass it is because she desperately needs some quiet time.
What men don’t understand about raising children (aside from the rare dads) is that it takes all the energy one person can muster to get through the day and that it painstakingly filled with beautiful mixture of joy and heartache that can drive you crazy if you let it. Men don’t understand that their wives wish for just one second that they will take on all the child rearing responsibilities and admit with a defeated once and for all that ‘No they could not do it and they certainly could not do it better than you.’ Men don’t understand that saying thank you, offering kisses and hugs and never noticing the things that aren’t done would be a great way to help and support their wives during the child raising years. They don’t understand that raising children is about growing up, growing together and growing a family. For all of this there is something that men do understand about raising children. Men understand that when it comes to raising children it could not be done without them and that their fatherly influence makes one of the biggest differences in the lives of the people they love the most!
4 Responses
Stick with how “most men” approach please. You are massively generalising my gender here and I for one have made a point to be a caring, considering coparent since my daughter arrived. My wife and I share all duties and whilst I appreciate there is a certain element (and I am in NO WAY down playing pregnancy and labour) there are thousands if not millions of dads/step dad’s out there doing literally all they can to equalise all of the imbalance you raise and point fingers at in this article.
Learn to read. She said most men not all now grow up mate
Would your wife agree there is an exceptional balance? my Husband thinks we are”balanced” and he sleeps 10 hours while I sleep 4. My husband takes out the trash and occasionally does the dishes. I do laundry toilet scrubbing leaf blowing mopping sweeping vacuuming cooking and go to full-time college and part-time work. He thinks my son is perfect and never has a bad day. I have teeth marks on my stomach a missing patch of hair, a busted lip, and haven’t eaten a real meal in weeks.
You may think your gender does more but there are some of us that need this article.
This article cracked me up. Thanks, Longhouse.