Far too often, you—being the man that you are—assume that the significant female in your life is in the midst of ‘that time of the month’ or suffering from “PMS” because she’s less patient with you than usual. Okay, so she’s downright bitchy. Chances are, you may have, in the midst of an argument or conversation, even said something like, “Are you on your period or something?” which likely didn’t go over well at all. The sad truth is that men don’t really know much about PMS or the female monthly cycle, except for the fact that it supposedly makes women moody.
So, let’s set the record straight right here and now. There are plenty of things men need to know about PMS, some of which can actually save them from coming across as the impatient, insensitive, sex-crazed man that they are. But before we begin, let’s make one thing clear: periods, and the monthly cycle, pretty much suck for a lot of women. Really, they do! And the first part of being compassionate is knowing that you truly understand EXACTLY what a woman goes through each and every month. So here it is, plain and simple!
First of all, bleeding profusely is never fun. Imagine walking around with what feels like a diaper or dry cotton stuck up your butt, feeling large gushes of warm fluid spewing out of you at random times during your day. Then, just for fun—try to exercise or walk up stairs with the realization that this will only make the gushing worse. There’s also the annoying bloating that makes your jeans not fit and your belly stick out, making you look (and feel) pregnant. To top it off, there’s diarrhea, nausea, sometimes vomiting, headaches, and stabbing pains in the abdomen and back that can last 1 to 6 days. Now just imagine yourself at the beach or a pool party, trying to conceal all of this while wearing a bikini.
See… it stinks!
Now that you’re probably feeling either grossed out or at least a little more compassionate, it’s time to discuss the physiology of the female body. For most women, a cycle lasts around 28-30 days. Day 1 is the first day of her period. This is the day you probably want to stay away—or at least refrain from being completely insensitive. This whole process, called a period, can last anywhere from 1 to 10 days. For women who have extended periods, life becomes annoying and often disrupted. Imagine 1/4 or 1/3 of every month being spent on your period. And men wonder why the women in their lives are a little off-kilter.
Next up comes ovulation. This means that the woman you want to have sex with can get pregnant (bet THAT got your attention). And, like most creatures, you’ll likely find that she’s more erogenous during this time of the month as well. Compare it to a female animal going into ‘heat.’ This means her sex drive is up because she’s fertile. Normally, women can only get pregnant during ovulation. However, it’s important to realize that sperm can live in the female reproductive organs for 1 to 5 days (maybe even more). So, pulling out and praying that it’s not her ovulation time is not a good plan if you’re trying to avoid pregnancy.
Ovulation occurs at the midway point of the 30-day cycle. For most women, this means she can get pregnant from day 10 (after her period) up until day 18. Yippee! This is definitely something ALL men need (and should) know about PMS! Once ovulation is over, it all goes downhill again, as she approaches the time of the month known as PMS.
Pre-Menstrual Syndrome – Watch Out, Men!
PMS stands for pre-menstrual syndrome, which occurs before she gets her period. During this time, her body is trying to figure out if she’s pregnant, begins retaining fluids, and hormones start fluctuating at dangerously fast rates. It’s mostly the hormones that make women moody at this point. In fact, progesterone and estrogen levels are surging so erratically that keeping up with them would give anyone whiplash. Each hormone, when in excess, has ridiculous side effects—ranging from emotional to physical. The truth is, she just can’t help being impatient, moody, or extremely sensitive, depending on which hormone is dominant at the time. In essence, PMS—the literal meaning of it—is worse than any other time of the month hormonally. It usually begins roughly one week before she gets her period. This means you have one week to be sweet enough to the woman in your life so that she actually wants to have sex with you—knowing that very soon, you may be banned completely from any interaction with her private parts due to her period.
And listen, no “what men should know about PMS” article would be complete without reminding you of one very important thing. Ready? Accusing the woman in your life of suffering from PMS just because you don’t like the way she’s behaving is NEVER a good idea. Especially if you don’t know what you’re talking about! The reality is that by the time your female partner gets to her actual period, the hormonal rollercoaster has settled down quite a bit—and she’s just not feeling good. And really, how would you act if you had to spend 1-10 days feeling as if you were being stabbed with knives AND bleeding profusely? See… it really isn’t her fault. Cut her some slack.
You also shouldn’t accuse her of having PMS or being on ‘the rag’ just because she doesn’t agree with you. There’s nothing that irritates women more than being accused of being unstable, witchy, moody, or mad—just because of her period. Remember, it could be that she’s genuinely upset, and her mood has nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with you. Look, most women don’t expect men to tiptoe around them when they have PMS or their periods. They just want to be left alone, to feel miserable, and perhaps for the man in their life to realize that being a woman isn’t always a walk in the park!
