Our animals are gifts to us for the time they grace our lives. The most difficult part of sharing our lives with an animal companion is often dealing with their departure. When a beloved animal companion is dying, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed with grief and confusion. Although we know that death is an inevitable part of life, there is really no way to adequately prepare ourselves for the passing of a loved one, whether human or animal.
However, if we choose to be mindful, even during their passing, we will discover that our animal friend continues to teach us precious lessons about love, trust, and living in the moment.
There are several things we can do to assist our friend through the dying process. By being physically and consciously present as the process unfolds, we allow the animal to feel comforted and free to move on when the time is right. It requires great flexibility and courage on our part, as the animal may alternate between rallying for some days and suddenly taking a turn for the worse.
Whenever possible, allow your animal companion to die in a natural way. Try not to be distracted by worrying whether euthanasia will be necessary. Trust that all will unfold as it should, and intervention can always be considered if needed. Be aware of signs from your animal that it is time for her to go, and trust your own feelings.
What to Expect as Death Approaches
When death is near, the sense of smell is the first to fail, followed by taste, sight, and lastly hearing. Do not force her to eat or drink; her body is beginning a process of shutting down, which will end when all systems cease to function. In the meantime, the circulation of blood to the extremities is decreasing, and she will likely want to be covered with a blanket. You may notice she is sleeping more and may become restless from time to time. Continue to speak to her soothingly to calm her. Her breathing may change, and she may need gentle repositioning to stay comfortable. If she is no longer drinking fluids, you can squirt a little water into her mouth to keep it moist.
Create a Physical Space for Death to Occur
Allow your animal to choose the place she feels most comfortable. Think of it as creating a heavenly environment on earth. Most dying animals want solitude, but not isolation. Surround her with her favorite things—many people bring in fresh flowers, pictures, and play soft music. Reassure your animal by letting her know that it’s okay to go when the time is right. If you haven’t already, you may want to decide if your animal would prefer to be buried or cremated. Trust your feelings, as you’ll likely have a sense of the right choice.
Remember, while you’re trying to create an atmosphere of peace and love for your beloved friend, there will likely be difficult moments. Accepting and being honest about these moments will ultimately bring you more peace.
After Death Occurs
Some believe there is a period after death during which the soul transitions. This period can last up to three days. Some spiritual traditions leave the body in its resting place during this time, while others honor it with silence and prayer. When my cat Oliver died suddenly last winter, I created a special place for him in the den, where he stayed for two days until I felt his presence was no longer attached to his body. Our bond of love was deepened during this precious time.
If your animal’s body is going to be buried, choose a location that holds meaning for you. You may want to have a ceremony, reading a favorite poem or words of your choosing. If children are present, it’s especially helpful for them to express their emotions at this time. You might plant something beautiful over the gravesite or place a statue or other memorial there. Many people honor their animal companion by donating to an animal-related cause or, when ready, adopting another animal in need of a loving home.
There’s no right or wrong way to handle these details after the death of your loved one. Honor your feelings, and allow family and friends to comfort you in your loss. Be sensitive to the emotions of other family members—both human and non-human—who are grieving as well.
Another beautiful gift you can give your beloved friend after their death is gratitude for the love you shared during your time together. This will deepen your compassion for all the animals who die without anyone to mourn them and transform your grief into a healing blessing for all living things.
About the Author: Bev Allen
Bev Allen is the owner of Lily & Me, Inc., a company dedicated to improving the lives of animal companions. She is also very active in animal welfare. Since 2002, she has served as the spay/neuter coordinator for Noah’s Ark Animal Foundation in Fairfield, IA. Additionally, she oversees two pet columns: “Animal Tracks” in Iowa SOURCE magazine and “Animal Talk” in the Heartland Spirit newspaper.
Note: Much of the information in this article came from When a Beloved Friend Dies and Blessing the Bridge by Rita Reynolds.
