Helping Children Overcome Fear of Dogs
Whenever Laura sees a dog, she shrieks and clings to her mother’s leg. Thomas runs the other way. Samuel freezes, wide-eyed in terror. Each of these children is afraid of dogs.
As parents, we strive to teach our kids how to cope with life’s challenges. Some parents mistakenly believe that fear of dogs makes children more cautious around them. However, this isn’t usually the case. When children are frightened, they often run, scream, or flail—actions that can attract a dog’s attention rather than keep it away.
While dogs can occasionally bite, it’s less common than many think. There are effective ways to ensure your child stays safe, with the most important being to learn about dog body language and behavior.
The more you understand about something, the less frightening it becomes. Many children are scared because they don’t know what a dog might do next. Since dogs communicate primarily through body language, a basic understanding of their signals can help kids interpret a dog’s intentions.
A great resource for teaching kids about canine body language is the Doggone Crazy board game (www.doggonecrazy.com). It includes over 100 playing cards, each featuring a color photo of a dog on the front with a question about whether it’s safe to approach. The back provides the answer and an explanation. I love that the game features a variety of dogs, each with a name like “Teddy” or “Riley,” which feels less intimidating to kids than generic labels like “that collie” or “the wheaten terrier.” Knowing a dog’s name often helps reduce a child’s fear.
Building Confidence Around Dogs
Once you and your child understand body language, start observing dogs from a safe distance. Sit outside a pet supply store and discuss the dogs you see coming and going. Which ones look happy? Which seem frightened? Which walk nicely on a leash? Are they old or young?
When your child feels comfortable watching dogs from afar, introduce them to older, calm dogs. Respect their fear and move at their pace—don’t rush or pressure them. Most children will feel safe touching a calm dog’s haunches if the owner turns the dog’s head away. This is a great first step. Talk with your child about how the dog’s fur feels and ask if they think other dogs’ fur might be softer or rougher. Encourage them to see the dog as an individual by asking the owner to share the dog’s favorite activities.
Gradually work toward having your child give the dog simple cues, with the owner ensuring the dog complies. Seeing a dog respond to their commands helps a child feel safer. It’s best to work with one dog until your child is very comfortable before introducing another. After they’ve befriended three calm, adult dogs, consider introducing a puppy. Puppies are energetic and bouncy, which can be overwhelming for a cautious child.
Start by letting your child observe the puppy from a distance, discussing how it’s similar to or different from the adult dogs they’ve met. When they’re ready to approach, ensure adults are present to prevent the puppy from jumping, as this could set back progress. Give your child treats to toss for the puppy to eat, keeping the interaction low-pressure.
If they’re comfortable, teach them how to lure the puppy into a sit. Show them how to hold a treat just above the puppy’s nose and move it slightly toward the tail, causing the puppy to sit. Demonstrate a few times, then guide their hand (with an adult nearby to prevent jumping) to try it themselves.
Take it slow. It’s far better to teach your child to be a skilled observer of animal behavior than to push them into situations that scare them. With patience, they’ll learn that many dogs are gentle and social, enabling them to interact safely and calmly with new dogs. This is much safer than remaining afraid of all dogs.
About the Author
Colleen Pelar, CPDT, is the author of Living with Kids and Dogs . . . Without Losing Your Mind. Committed to improving interactions between children and dogs through education, Colleen helps parents, children, and dog owners build better relationships. For more information, visit https://www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com.
