General Relationship

What To Do When Your Relationship Loses Its Fire

Relationships are complicated things. It is a voyage of two people in the same direction, and like many voyages, it is punctuated alternately by periods of calm cruises and turbulent tides. 

Sometimes, your voyage may falter and you might find your relationship has lost the fire that spurred it on. It happens to lots of couples, and it doesn’t mean the end of the world. 

If you’ve found your relationship’s fire has dwindled out, read on to learn what you should do to rekindle it.

Communicate with your partner

Good communication is the single most important thing a relationship needs to survive, but it’s also the hardest thing to achieve.

Humans are adept at playing social games. When one person says “I’m fine”, for instance, they might actually be furious about something but unable or unwilling to address it. It’s crucial that you can concisely articulate your thoughts to your partner without playing these games.

Sit down with your partner and clearly state how you feel about your relationship’s current state. It might help to write down what you want to say first to avoid saying the wrong thing or explaining it badly.

It’s important to reassure each other than this is a safe space — each party can say what they like without fear of emotional reprisal.

Seek medical help

Sex is a significant part of relationships. It’s a form of communication that conveys love, intimacy, closeness, and more.

So when issues arise during sex — it becomes less frequent, for example, or a partner is unable to achieve an erection — this can have a knock-on effect for the rest of the relationship.

There are lots of erectile dysfunction treatments available to you, either over-the-counter or on prescription. Viagra Connect is one of the most popular, used by men around the world to effectively resolve erectile dysfunction issues.

The Independent Pharmacy describes what Viagra Connect is in detail, but most importantly, you should know that it is not a solution for a loss of attraction. Viagra requires you to be sexually stimulated, and if you are not sexually attracted to your partner, then it will not work.

In this case, you may need to seek external help — relationship counseling.

Seek relationship advice

Some relationship problems cannot be resolved through medical intervention. In many cases, the intervention of a qualified counselor is required to help couples find that spark again.

Relationship counseling is a viable and surprisingly popular option for couples. The expert eyes of a professional counselor help you navigate complex, often emotionally-loaded relationship issues with care and tact.

But the introduction of a third party also helps you both step outside of your relationship, appraising it with fresh eyes.

There are myriad relationship counselors available to help you navigate your issues. Speak to your doctor or search online for your nearest option.

Know when to move on

A loss of fire doesn’t necessarily a relationship is over. In fact, there’s a wonderful line in Louis de Bernières’ Captain Corelli’s Mandolin that summarises this perfectly:

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.”

If you cannot picture a life without each other, then your roots have entwined. You can work at it with the steps outlined above and rekindle that fire.

But sometimes, despite all your efforts, you cannot salvage a relationship. You cannot carve a path that you can both follow, hand-in-hand. In this case, as sad as it might be, you should consider uncoupling.

Try spending some time apart for a while first. If you struggle with this, seek other solutions. But if you find you are both happier apart, then now might be the time to consider ending it for good. This won’t be easy of course, but it’s a journey that is worth undertaking, for both your sakes.

Sometimes relationships lose their fire — it’s an unfortunate fact of life. But it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship it’s over. Follow the steps above and take action to rekindle it. You might find your fire was there all along, or you might find it’s time to end it. Either way, keep an even keel and communicate with each other to find the right solution that satisfies you both.

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1 comment

AL January 8, 2020 at 8:08 AM

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.”
What in the world does entwined roots have to do with volcanoes? This quote was either taken out of context and needs further explanation or it needs to be removed from this article. In my opinion, that quote is only there so the author could meet his word quota.


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