The question of what to expect when giving birth frightens many women, sometimes to the point that pregnancy is not an option. The answer, of course, is blood, sweat, tears, more blood, drama, cold temperatures, and, lastly, warm hearts. Yes, childbirth can hurt, but for the most part, few women truly remember the experience as being as bad as it was once they see the fruits of their labor—literally!
What to Expect During Your Childbirth
Obviously, a big part of giving birth involves physicians or midwives. Depending on the one you choose and your birthing plan, your birth can go in several directions. Many people envision the perfect childbirth and labor, only to be disappointed by a c-section or the need for various medications during labor. Some are disappointed that it went too slowly or didn’t feel just as planned. Essentially, a million people can tell you what to expect when giving birth, but your experience can be the culmination of so many factors that your childbirth could be completely different.
There is blood. Luckily, few women have to see that part. The worst part of childbirth is lying on the table with your legs spread eagle for all to see, with little control over how many or who walks through the door during your birth. A tip for pregnant women: Be explicit if you don’t want your father-in-law barging in to see your private parts! Nurses can be both compassionate and harsh; some will treat you as though you’re the biggest sissy who ever gave birth, while others will take their time and comfort you to help you feel more relaxed. Doctors, on the other hand, are often only interested in about five minutes of your birth experience. Just because you love your OBGYN throughout your pregnancy doesn’t mean they will be there for the whole pushing phase. If labor stalls and a C-section becomes necessary, many doctors will order an epidural and leave you waiting until it’s convenient for them to come in and deliver. While it may feel rude, with so many patients calling them away, they have to set limits!
Another thing to expect when giving birth is to be very thirsty, but you’ll likely only be allowed to have ice chips. Hospital beds are uncomfortable, though most birthing centers allow and encourage you to get up and walk around. The worst part of birth can be the back pain you experience through contractions, and although they may seem like they will never end, they do! If you choose to use epidurals or other spinal blocks, you can expect to feel alien to your own body, experiencing nothing but mild pressure and some pulling sensations throughout. Medications will also mask the feeling of any tears you might experience and help you enjoy the experience without pain. Of course, many women are against pain meds and wish to tough it out. If you’re fearful of that part, rest assured that with meds, you won’t feel a thing!
Another factor very few people consider is just how long it may take to give birth. There are some women who can go in and have their baby within a few hours, but the majority will arrive at the hospital long before they are fully dilated. This can mean that you’ll spend hours laboring in a bed, and much of it won’t feel like true labor. Why? Because the initial phases of labor are less dramatic and intense than the later phases.
Of course, you can also expect a wide range of emotions. One minute you’ll be excited, and the next you’ll feel overwhelmed and psychotic. You are allowed to feel however you feel, and the combination of not knowing what to expect, worrying about your baby’s well-being, and becoming a mother can be enough to make anyone feel a bit crazy.
What to expect when giving birth doesn’t have to be a nightmare. If you envision something grotesque and frightening, you’re just psyching yourself out, because it won’t be like that. There will be plenty of people around, many calling and visiting, and even more who can take care of you should the need arise. The unpleasantries of taking medications, being checked every hour to see how far you are dilated (which just seems cruel in retrospect), and enduring the ebb and flow of pain and emotion is truly bittersweet. By the time it’s over, you will feel relieved—almost as though you’ve lost something—because the little baby you hoarded all to yourself for nine long months is now out for the world to meet. At this point, mom is pretty much forgotten as people become grandparents, fathers, aunts, uncles, or godparents.
The most important advice any woman about to give birth can get is to try and remain calm and flexible throughout the experience. Learn relaxation techniques, and, as much as possible, try to enjoy the last few minutes of couplehood without children before you’re immersed in your new life ahead. What to expect when giving birth is nothing compared to what to expect once you have a house full of children!
