So, you want to get married. No matter how hard you try to come up with the right words to describe the exact sentiment you’re feeling, the bottom line is that you have no idea what to say when you propose marriage. Of course, there’s the obvious, “Will you marry me?” But is that really enough to punctuate such a monumental event in your life? You want your marriage proposal to be something special that you and your spouse can look back on happily in 20 years. It definitely shouldn’t be a moment for America’s Funniest Home Videos. For those of you who are tongue-tied, here are 5 expert tips to make your marriage proposal both memorable and unique.
First, think about what this person means to you. You’re asking them to be your life partner, not just for a date. This decision likely took some serious thought on your part, and there must be reasons WHY you chose this person and want to marry them in the first place. Avoid the shallow, obvious reasons like the fact that you’ve been living together for five years, have a child together, or think they’re simply great. Instead, focus on specific qualities that make you confident you want to spend your life with them. Women truly appreciate this kind of thoughtfulness, which shows that the man in their life is paying attention, appreciative, and deeply considerate.
Talk About Your Life Together
You also need to talk about the future. Everyone is different, but most people, when deciding to marry, have some idea of what they want their future to look like. Is it a yard full of kids, with two Labradors running amok, that you envision for your future? Do you see the two of you growing old on a front porch swing, rocking grandbabies? Whatever it is you imagine, be honest enough to admit it. You never know what will truly transpire throughout your marriage, but every dream has to start somewhere. What you say when you propose should definitely involve what you see as the picture-perfect future for you!
Now that you’ve covered the “whys” and the long-term outlook, the next detail to include is something special and unique between the two of you. This is what makes the moment extra special and completely personal. Do you have an inside joke? Tell her you want to marry her because she makes the best damn meatloaf in the world and you couldn’t imagine your life without it. The point here is to offer something that makes the moment fun and interesting. Up until this point, your marriage proposal has likely been run-of-the-mill. Think seriously about the simple things the two of you share—things that may not be huge in the grand scheme of life but are truly special between you.
If you’re proposing marriage, there are a few things you should definitely avoid saying. Don’t bring up any problems the two of you may be facing. Don’t propose as an effort to fix something seriously wrong in the relationship, like infidelity. Avoid saying things like, “I know your parents hate me, but I want to marry you anyway,” which could make your partner second-guess the proposal.
Don’t propose as a last-ditch effort to save the relationship or due to extenuating circumstances like a pregnancy or illness. You should also avoid apologizing for the size (or lack thereof) of the engagement ring. Your marriage should be about much more than the size of a diamond. In fact, it might make more sense to invest in a really big, expensive piece of jewelry when you’ve made it to the 10-year mark or beyond. These types of proposals will come back to haunt you for the rest of your life.
And of course, last but certainly not least, you can’t propose marriage without saying “I love you.” Those three little words can be the most powerful part of your message. Your hope is that your partner not only feels the same way but is also so moved that they leap into your arms with a huge, affirming “YES!”
What to say when you propose marriage doesn’t have to be an exact science. However, resist the urge to just blurt it out unless you’ve spent some time carefully thinking about the past, present, and future with the person you love. Remember, by all intents and purposes, this is the first moment of the rest of your life! Prepare it wisely.