When Divorce Can be a Good Thing

There is a lovely quote credited to Marilyn Monroe that is surprisingly insightful coming from a ditsy blonde bombshell. At some point in her career, she said, “Sometimes, good things fall apart so GREAT things can come together!” Often, when it comes to divorce and the end of relationships in general, people don’t always see it as a good thing. Most view it as a negative event that marks an ending. It’s important to remember that with every ending comes another beginning.

Divorce can indeed be a positive experience. It can provide a rebirth in life—ending a painful situation, prompting you to take a hard look at your life, and empowering you to make firm decisions based on your happiness rather than someone else’s. It’s also an excellent opportunity to reflect on your mistakes and the lessons learned, allowing you to decide what you want to carry forward. Even if the divorce wasn’t your choice or something you wanted, the eventual outcome—once you have processed the pain and grief—can be transformative and empowering.

You might not be in that place yet. You may still be reeling from the shock of the situation or grappling with intense emotions that arise when life throws you a curveball. That’s okay. Give yourself the time and space you need to grow and heal. Remember that God never gives you challenges you can’t handle. This, my friend, is one of those challenges. Learning to be self-reliant and to see yourself as whole rather than half of a couple is a beautiful journey. You may discover and pursue bigger dreams than you ever imagined.

Of course, if you need reminders of times when divorce can genuinely be a good thing, read on! Some of these reasons may resonate with you, some may make you laugh, and others may bring tears to your eyes.

Divorce Can Be a Good Thing When:

• You haven’t had sex in over a year (or more). Sex is wonderful, exciting, and fun, and you’ve been missing out. More than half of all married couples experience extended periods of being sexless, which is rather ridiculous if you ask me. You don’t have to like your partner to enjoy sex with them. But now, you can seek and enjoy sex again—just for the sake of it. (Try not to get too crazy with it!) You’ll likely wonder why you waited so long when you have that first orgasm after a year or two without one.
• If your ex was a spender, you will be able to save a ton of money. Okay, so divorce can be expensive too—but it doesn’t have to be. At least now, you know that your hard-earned money isn’t going towards an endless supply of shoes or new pipes for a rusty old Harley. You get to decide where your money goes.
• The annoying, frustrating arguments—like leaving the toilet seat up, leaving dirty clothes on the floor, cluttering the sink with makeup, or using one another’s razors—are officially OVER. You become the master of your domain and can do whatever you want without worrying about causing a passive-aggressive “War of the Roses.”
• Remember that family member or friend of your ex that you HATED? Now you can tell them exactly how you feel (if you haven’t already). And those crazy family gatherings? No more Christmases spent watching them drink too much eggnog and remove their clothing.
• You can go and do as you please whenever you want. Even if you didn’t have to ask for permission before, now you have total freedom to explore the world without needing to call someone or share your plans.
• Were you married to someone who snores or steals the covers? Ha! Reclaim your good night’s sleep.
• If you felt like you had no control over the television during your marriage, now is your time to catch up on what you’ve been missing. You can watch whatever you want—or nothing at all if you prefer. You can stay up as late as you want or go to bed as early as you like!
• No one can laugh at you for having a dream. And no one can influence you to not follow your dream. Couples don’t usually do this on purpose, but it often happens.
• You might become a better parent if you have children. Many couples find they can parent their kids more happily when they aren’t weighed down by irritating relationship issues.
• Now, it won’t matter if HE (or she) forgets an anniversary or birthday!
• If you were in an abusive relationship, then divorce is a lifeline. Now you can take the lessons learned and move forward.

Of course, there are countless other reasons, big and small, that can make divorce a good thing in your life. Ultimately, it’s up to you. If you perceive the divorce as the end of the world, it will feel that way. If you see it as an ending, it will be. But if you have the courage to view it as the beginning of something new, as a fresh chance in life—then that’s how your divorce will be! Choose your thoughts wisely.