It can be terrifying to realize that your teenage daughter has been out all night. In your mind, there’s no reason for your teenage daughter not to come home at a reasonable hour. It’s nerve-wracking to pace the floor well past two in the morning. It’s even worse to wake up around four a.m. and realize that, even though she was sound asleep when you went to bed, she snuck out sometime after that. What could she be doing?
You’re scared. You want to shake her senseless when she finally walks through the door. You want to hug her like you’ve never hugged her before. You want to cry and scream. What you really want is for her to feel your emotions and understand the fear and pain she’s caused by acting so irresponsibly.
There’s a distinct possibility that she won’t tell you the truth about where she was during those long hours. If she was with someone, they’ve likely already come up with a cover story in case they get caught. As much as no parent wants to consider the possibility, a teenage daughter may be sexually active, and sex is often the main reason a teenage girl stays out all night.
Understanding Why Teenage Girls Stay Out All Night
However, sex isn’t the only reason a teenage daughter might stay out late. Kids between the ages of 12 and 20 go through an emotional roller coaster that can lead them to do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do. Sometimes, they sneak out simply to experience the world from a different perspective. Under the cover of darkness and the illusion of freedom, they may roam the streets, perhaps feeling like they’re escaping reality, even though it’s not a very safe option.
If your daughter regularly doesn’t come home at night, she’s most likely spending time with someone—or something. Drugs, alcohol, and sex are the three main reasons teenage girls deceive their parents and stay out late. Regardless of the reason, how should a parent handle this situation?
Ideally, your child should be empathetic enough to understand the nightmare they’re putting you through. This could help curb the behavior in a more meaningful way than punishment alone. Different parents will respond to this issue in different ways, and different children will react differently. Some parents may choose to punish their daughter by grounding her or removing privileges, while others may install security features in the home to track her movements. Some parents may even consider this behavior as running away and might hospitalize their child to get help.
The first priority is to keep your daughter safe. Whatever she’s doing out there, chances are it’s neither safe nor wise. The actions you take to keep her safe—within reason—are up to you. Deciding that you can’t take it anymore and locking her out of the house will only escalate the problem, driving her further into whatever behavior she’s engaging in.
Once you know she’s safe, it’s time to get to the heart of the issue. Where she’s going every night is clearly something she finds attractive, and chances are she’s trying to fill a void in her life that she doesn’t know how to fill in any other way. Finding that void is crucial. Understanding what drives her to act this way is key. This is not a problem that can be solved quickly. It will require a lot of work, patience, and effort on your part as a parent.
It is incredibly scary when a teenage daughter doesn’t come home at night. As a parent, your job is not only to deter her from dangerous behavior but also to help her understand herself, why she’s doing this, and find healthier ways to fill the emotional void she’s trying to address.
One Response
A nice homeless 20 year old girl is living with my wife and I. She works about 20 hours a week. I’m concerned as anytime she can she does not come home at night. She appears not.to use drugs or alcohol. Maybe she is spending time with men. I really don’t know. But like a dog that likes to run off she is gone everytime she can get away! Who really knows what she is doing. It’s a mystery to an old guy like me!