Comments on: Writing a Breakup Letter – Ending the Relationship

By: Gingersnap

Gingersnap — Sun, 26 Aug 2018 17:19:15 +0000

Good article. I think writing the letter allows the person being broken up with the ability for the however few or many reasons for them to have them sink in. In the heat of the moment I think we don’t hear everything necessarily the right way. My question, though, what if you all live together (many years older couple) and the one leaving has like no furnishings or money? Does one give time frame and monies to help them settle?

By: ACM

ACM — Thu, 08 Dec 2016 21:17:01 +0000

I just did this and it was the best feeling ever! I was to the point, minimal emotions, said a positive thing or two and walked away. He totally embarrassed me in front of a female friend and it wasn’t the first time.

I told him there was no need to apologize or give an explanation. He said that wasn’t fair by not letting him respond and I told him life isn’t fair. We both stayed calm and his reaction was priceless!

When I went to give him the letter I asked him to sit in the car. He refused so I said I’ll just read the letter. He said he couldn’t hear me so I just read louder. It took me about 45 seconds to read the letter (one page, hand written) and all he heard was – we aren’t friends anymore.” I just said no, I’m finished, done, I’ve got to go. I drove off and left him standing in the middle of the parking lot, mouth open, shocked, and I’m almost positive with tears in his eyes. He never saw that coming from me.

The best part, he asked to keep the letter and I didn’t think he would. That is so not his Libra personality. He said he wanted to respond and I just said whatever, got to go.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 17 Jul 2016 11:41:54 +0000

Interesting perspective, but not the real deal.
I had a 3-4 year relationship with a man who broke up with me via email when he was overseas. He cited a report he heard from a buddy of his about me (false) as the reason and vowed never to speak to me again.
I wrote back to him. I was hurt and confused. I treated this man very well and felt the least he could do was speak to me in person.
When he returned -2 months later – I ran into him downtown. Both of us were alone. He would not even look at me. I asked him to look at me and speak to me.
He walked off without saying a word and I have not seen him since. It took me a very long time to get over this.
Maybe closure for him – but utter shock and hurt for me. We are both a little older and have had our share of disappointments. We had even discussed marriage. The least the man could have done was speak to me face to face about the situation.
Writing a letter may be a good start. If the other person needs more clarity, by all means show up in person in a quiet place and talk things over.
Internet, text message – forget it. If the person was good enough to eat your food, sleep in your bed, spend years with, meet friends and possibly family – they are worthy of an in person meeting.
A letter is not necessarily “less hurtful” and a “clean break”.
Maybe one party is too cowardly to confront the situation in person.
Incomplete advice Professor. This not an SAT. It’s a relationship between 2 human beings.