For the first time in your life, you’re writing wedding vows—yours! One evening, your future wife turned to you by the fireplace and said, “Honey, I think we ought to write our own wedding vows. I don’t want any textbook or internet stuff—I want our vows to be truly our own.”
She also warned you that if you hired a ghostwriter, she’d walk away from—not down—the aisle.
Don’t be intimidated. If there’s enough love gushing out of your heart and passion running through your veins, you’ll find the inspiration to write your vows—minus the stress. Relax, take a deep breath, find a quiet corner, or drive to the ocean, take your pen, and start scribbling. Your eternal love will bring out the sentimental poet in you.
Just make sure, however, that your wedding ceremony is non-traditional. This gives you the liberty to deviate from more traditional wedding vow formats. Check with your officiant if it’s okay to create your own personalized version. If they give the green light, you have carte blanche to say anything you want—without offending your guests.
Basics of Writing Wedding Vows
Here are a few rules to remember when writing your wedding vows:
- Length – You may be madly in love and feel inspired to the core, but you can’t take up too much time. Your officiant will get nervous, the next ceremony will be delayed, and your guests will wilt if your vow runs longer than two minutes. You know the saying: the shorter, the more eloquent. Don’t cheapen this special moment by rambling. If you want to say more, save it for the reception when others can share their pieces.
- Relevance – Stay focused. You’re there to make a vow—a commitment to love and behold till death do you part. You can’t narrate the story of how you met, what led you to propose, or what you did before deciding to tie the knot. While you’re free to craft your own vows with your officiant’s permission, don’t stray from the primary purpose of a vow.
- Tone and Behavior – Writing your own vows doesn’t mean you should treat them lightly. Even if you opt for humor, don’t let it take over. Your vows should strike a balance. Avoid being overly serious, too. Remember the time you found your mother’s old love letters? In one, she wrote, “To my luscious, screwiest screwball…” This kind of wording has no place in a ceremony.
- Choice of Words – Writing your wedding vows doesn’t need to be complicated. Don’t try to sound like Shakespeare or Jay Leno. Choose your words carefully. There’s elegance in simplicity. Avoid making it sound like you plucked the hardest words from a dictionary. The K.I.S. principle (Keep It Simple) is key.
- Practice – You can practice reciting your wedding vow solo or ask a friend to listen and offer constructive criticism. You only get one chance to say your vow, so you might as well do it right the first time.
Writing Wedding Vows: Examples
Bring out the romantic poet in you. Don’t be shy.
Here’s an example from Nina Callaway:
“(Name), I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.”
Here’s another example—actually an extract—from a book compiled by Eleanor Munro. Ms. Munro took it from a Hindu marriage ritual—the “Seven Steps.” It’s a bit different, but equally moving.
“We have taken the seven steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound.”
Here are more examples we’ve written. They’re homegrown—straight from our own backyard—not that we have any wedding vow experience. In fact, we’ve never marched down the aisle before, but that doesn’t mean we can’t write wedding vows!
For Grooms:
Example #1
“This is my magic moment. I am delighted to take you ____(name) as my wife. I look forward to happy days because each happy day we spend together is a miracle. I shall always treasure you, listen to your every word, and respect your views. I seek your support, both emotional and moral, and I give you mine. We may fight, argue, and disagree, but the down swings in our marriage will not obliterate my undying love and devotion to you. You can always count on me.”
Example #2
“(Name), I have always blessed the day I met you. I’m the luckiest man alive. You have made a huge difference in my life. You brought me happiness and peace of mind. What else do I want? I promise to love and cherish you. Together, we shall build a life of joy filled with happy children. You will always be mine, and I promise to be faithful and supportive, even in our darkest days. I am yours and yours alone.”
For Brides:
Example #1
(Name), the first time I saw you, I knew then that you were the ONE. And here I am today, feeling more convinced than ever that you are indeed my knight in shining armor. I love you deeply, you have captured my heart, my whole being. I shall be there for you—always. Know that you are the only person I want to spend the rest of my days with. I know that with each coming day, our love will grow stronger. Our love for each other will nurture us, sustain us, and unite our souls, today and forever.”
Example #2
“(Name), I take you as my husband, and I promise to care for you and look after your needs. I shall always cherish you, soothe your troubles away, and provide comfort when you need it. This is my eternal promise. I shall be your rock, and you will be the same. You can rely on me, and I on you. As my husband, you shall want for nothing. I shall be there for you, always, in joy and in sorrow.”
We bet you can do even better than these examples. Why? Because you’re in love! Take your inspiration and create a romantic vow that will be music to your future spouse’s ears.
