You Can’t Judge a Wine by its Label

woman buying wine

There you are at your local wine store, looking at the walls of wine and wanting to try something new—and, of course, delicious! You come across the well-known names of the top wineries, or at least that’s what it says on the tag attached to them: “91 Points by ___!” But more often than not, those points can relate to dollar signs—and a whole lot of them.

Then you remember the conversation you had at a recent company function with one of your co-workers about a winery they had recently experienced, and a great wine they tasted and bought a case of. Almost immediately, the name of it comes back to you. How could you not remember that name? And then there’s the winery name. What was this guy thinking, you ask yourself. How could they possibly be serious about winemaking?

As you continue to browse the selections, there it is—the exact bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon he was talking about. You look around to see if anyone is watching, then reach down near the floor, where the store seems to be hiding it. You ask yourself, Can I actually bring this to the front register and have the cashier ring it up without looking like a fool? And the next question: What will my wife and friends say when I bring this to the table tonight?

But then you make a decision that may very well open your eyes—and your palate—to a whole new experience in wine. The “Shock Winery” and its line of “Shock Wines.” These newer wineries are using bold names and eye-catching labels to get attention and entice the public to try their wines. In an industry that has exploded to include an overwhelming number of wineries, a red label will stand out among the sea of black, blues, whites, and silver labels. And as for the wine inside that bottle? Don’t kid yourself—some fine wines are being produced by extremely well-known winemakers. The reality is, you can no longer judge a wine by its label.

Embracing the Unexpected

Case in point: Sweet Cheeks Winery – (https://www.sweetcheekswinery.com/) located in Eugene, Oregon, in the South Willamette Valley. Okay, it’s a funny name and brings all kinds of thoughts to mind about how they came up with it, but the bottom line is—would you pull a bottle of their wine off the shelf and take it home? If you looked at it, you might, because the label is quite intriguing. It looks like a horseshoe with a vineyard, a crow inside it, and grape clusters surrounding it. But with a name like “Sweet Cheeks,” how serious could they be, right?

Well, if you ever have the opportunity to experience a glass of their Vintage Riesling, Pinot Gris, or Shiraz, do it. It will be a heavenly experience—one that will bring you back for more.

Another winery that comes to mind is Rabbit Ridge Winery, located in Paso Robles, California. Now let’s face it—if you saw a bottle on a shelf or on a wine list named Rabbit Ridge, with a bunny on it, what are the chances you would try it? If we told you that it was located in the prime California growing region of Paso Robles—an area becoming as famous as Napa—and that it consisted of almost 700 acres of vines, would you? They produce more than eighteen different wines or blends, some with questionable names like “Bunny Cuvee” and “Speed Bump.” Still, they create some of the finest wines in Paso Robles. One has only to experience a glass of their Reserve Zinfandels, Reserve Petit Syrah, or 3 Clusters Syrah to know that this winery produces only fine, classy, and delicious wines.

The Rabbit Ridge ’04 Paso Robles Sara’s Ridge Syrah is grown on one of the highest ridges in Paso Robles. It is produced from grapes grown in three different locations within this vineyard, so the grapes ripen at three distinct times, weeks apart. This process results in a complex, fruit-forward, and very rich mouthfeel, with chocolate, raspberry, and mild black pepper notes—a classic and elegant Syrah. You would be well advised to indulge in a bottle or two of this fine Syrah.

Next, let’s talk about “Hip Chicks Do Wine” Winery (https://www.hipchicksdowine.com/) located in Portland, Oregon. Owner-winemakers Laurie Lewis, “Wine Goddess,” and Renee Neely, “Wine Maven,” are definitely a case in point of deciding to be a “Shock Winery” to get noticed. They opened their winery in 2001 in the warehouse district of Portland, near the Brooklyn Train Yard, surrounded by neighbors like a microbrewery and local artist shops.

Laurie and Renee decided to start a wine business that would appeal to Generation X and beyond—a population that seemed to be ignored by the wine industry. They wanted to produce wines that would attract this group, with “drink now” wines to enjoy with food or without. Their target sippers weren’t interested in storing expensive wines for years in a cold, dark cellar. They wanted to party and drink wine—now.

You’ll find the ladies from Hip Chicks Winery at their Portland location, as well as their tasting room in Newberg, Oregon, on 1st Street. You’ll also see them at many wine functions in Portland and surrounding areas. You can’t miss their wines, like their “Wine Bunny Series” wines—“Wine Bunny Rouge” and “Wine Bunny Blush”—and their “Pulp Novel Series” wines, including “Bad Girl Blanc,” “Riot Girl Rose,” and of course, “Drop Dead Red.” Given the chance, you’ll find that these wines are just what they wanted to produce: great “drink now” wines for parties or a relaxing afternoon.

That’s not to say these winemakers aren’t proud of their craft or aren’t constantly striving to make higher-quality wines. Their grapes are sourced from some of the best producers in both the Willamette Valley and Washington State. Examples of excellent winemaking can be found in a sip of their Whole Berry Cabernet Sauvignon ’07, produced from grapes harvested in the Columbia Valley by Windy Ridge Vineyard. They’ve also produced an excellent ’07 Reserve Malbec, with layers of boysenberry and raspberry flavors, finishing with slight pepper and tannins.

Finally, we come to the Queen of the Ball—open the envelope, please, and the winner is… The Naked Winery & Orgasmic Wine Company. If there ever were an award for the most outrageous winery as a “Shock Winery,” it would be presented by Howard Stern, the infamous “Shock Jock” of radio, to The Naked Winery.

Located in Downtown Hood River, Oregon, Naked Winery openly advertises that they are a place where you can “Get Naked Daily” in their wine-tasting room. In fact, they invite you to get naked wherever they are. Their wines—each with a unique name and label—encourage you to set the mood of wherever you decide to open a bottle. Start your special evening with your spouse or “significant other” by opening a bottle of “Foreplay,” and see if they get the message. Next Thanksgiving, why not serve a bottle of “Penetration Cabernet,” and have your mother-in-law read the label aloud for everyone?

You may think these wines are just a gimmick to sell novelty wines as gag gifts, but you’d be wrong. Either visit their winery in person or online and check out their “Library Wine” section for a big surprise. There, you’ll find a 2003 Penetration Red selling for $60, or their “Orgasm” line, including the 2007 Oh! Barbera for $70, and the very popular 2008 Dominatrix Pinot Noir for $52. Trust us—they’re being purchased, opened, and thoroughly enjoyed.

In all seriousness, Naked Winery is a family-owned business with an additional winery in Wishram, Washington (Washington). All grapes grown for their reds are “Orgasmically Grown” in Southern Oregon’s Applegate Valley and Washington’s Columbia Valley. The whites are grown in the Willamette and Illinois Valleys.

Regardless of what you think of the name, rest assured that much care has gone into the production of their wines. Notably, the ’07 Foreplay Chardonnay presents a mild coconut and banana smoothness, with a hint of oak. The ’04 Penetration Cabernet Sauvignon is a dream, with red ruby lips, mild spicy and chocolate notes that will surely stimulate your senses, followed by cherry, blackberry, and raspberry tones thrust upon your palate. The finish is long and satisfying, leaving you with a gentle tobacco aftertaste you’ll savor.

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