Comments on: Arranged Marriage Facts

By: nick ger

nick ger — Mon, 26 Sep 2022 20:07:32 +0000

In reply to nibba Juice. thats what im saying

By: krishna Murari

krishna Murari — Thu, 13 Feb 2020 13:47:27 +0000

This is a very controversial topic.This is also hugely dependent on the culture of the man to which he belongs.A very small divorce rate of divorce in countries like,india,japan & china ,where arranged marriages are/were in vogue is not to be taken easily.There may be causes like subservience of the female for the permanence .But it also does not confirm that all or majority of arranged marriages are successfull or unauccessfull.No reliable statistics are available for the success or failure of marriages ,w.r.t ar/love marriage.

true in am the parties donot know each other & there is no love in between them.Once the parties are are selected by their parents instant love developes berween them.Thereafter strong bond developes between them.The terming of first night as legal rape is not correct.I was married 60 yrs.back.My wife is no more.We never knew each other but fell head over heels in love with each other when we got engaged.We had very happy married life(with usual quota of husband wife quartel).My wife became a cripple in last 20 yrs & was bed ridden for 5 yrs, but i bore her up with utmost love & affection till her last breath.

i am not an exception .there may be cr of couples like me. of course modern modifications are there.The parents take full care of the choice of children,allow them to meet them freely before marriage.Full consent of the parties is taken.

In absence of reliable statistics( it is a gigantic task,almost imposible to have reliable data) it is difficult to say as to which syst is better.Vande mataram

By: nibba Juice

nibba Juice — Mon, 13 May 2019 22:27:14 +0000

In reply to Camila. sucks to suck

By: Camila

Camila — Sat, 02 Mar 2019 08:37:36 +0000

I fell in love with an indian man. We were supposed to get married. We were so in love and hapoy. Unfortunately, his family did everything to destroy our relationship and they succedeed. They want a girl for him from the same caste. I feel betrayed. I lost him and I felt like I lost the will to live. I had a breakdown. I’m thankful my family and friends supported me and I am still alive. The only thing I can say is they are cruel. Evil. This system is cruel.

By: Laurel Leigh

Laurel Leigh — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 08:32:46 +0000

One of the major points of dispute I have with this article is the definition of a successful marriage through comparison of western to eastern statistics on divorce If a poverty stricken uneducated woman was browbeaten and coerced into an early, unwanted marriage with a man she barely knew, and was raped on her wedding night to produce an unwanted pregnancy resulting in an unloved child, and she remained trapped as a prisoner of social pressure and economic need for many long unhappy years until she finally died, would the fact that there was no divorce put her union into the category of a successful marriage? According to the above statistics you might think the author included her on the plus side of the ledger due to her non divorcing status. If a poverty stricken man reluctantly married a woman to gain her meager dowry and enjoy some scullery maid and drudgery services by day while he uses her body to satisfy himself sexually by night, and he availed himself of her, he may be existing as a married man on paper but is he truly even in a relationship, or, for that matter is he truly even living life? Where would anyone find a western man to gladly endure a lifetime of uncaring disinterested and half hearted sex and yet want to remain married? If a man here in USA thinks his woman is delivering mechanical, non participatory sex, he will want to get a divorce. Men I have known are not going to spend their entire life trapped by social pressure to remain married with a reluctant woman. Men in more educated classes are sensitive to a woman’s dullness of spirit and intellect, her uncaring heart, her cold lack of desire and enthusiasm A marriage is not about unhappily passing all the days of ones life in close confines with a resentful, ungrateful woman trapped by children she never truly wanted who is only remaining married on paper because she has no legal avenue to divorce or because she sees him as a bill paying service. Is that what the author would term a successful marriage when someone is only passing time with you because of legal inability to leave, economic need, social pressure or domestic violence threat? Long term endurance of mediocrity can hardly be equated to marital success… ones lack of ability to stand up to parental pressure would not translate to a happy life. The term “pragmatic marriage” almost sounds like advanced buying and selling, not a relationship. If you have a finite ration of days in your life, you cannot sacrifice everything to satisfy aging parents. Did you ask to be born? No, you are alive because of a choice someone else made for their life, to procreate. Your life was given to you by God, you don’t owe anyone so much that you should to expend your personal ration of time on this earth unhappy on a daily basis. You are a person who deserves happiness. Its your life, live it happily, every day. My personal advice on divorce is much like my advice regarding investing in the stock market- when you find yourself in a losing situation don’t throw good investment after bad. If you have ever known the stock market many people do get into a failing rescue psychology to recoup their losses but wise investors call this a mistake. When divorce, you are wisely cutting your losses because your days of life you spend unhappy are forever gone from you.

By: KTM

KTM — Sun, 31 May 2015 08:52:57 +0000

You just forgot the pressure most people suffer. Parents talk to their children about that when they are kids and teenagers. They talk about honouring parents and not bringing shame to the family. Most will feel the pressure as adults. Also these parents usually consider that everybody wants the same thing they want to.
Since most of this marriage happen in very conservative societies and some see marriage as an obligation, the couple will stay in the relationship no matter what.
Don’t be naive. If love and satisfaction don’t happen, most couple will stick together.
Most Muslim women after decades of marriage, will not say they are happy. They say they should be thankful. Many Indians will talk about karma and not having other options…
This tradition is very common in extremely patriarchal societies, and have bad effects for most women and the societies they belong to.